Sometimes, Walking Away Is Best

Women fall in love slowly over time provided you do more things right than you do wrong to raise her level of romantic interest in you. Women also fall out of love slowly over time. That is why most guys who get unexpectedly dumped never see it coming. They simply do not know what to look for as her interest level drops.

Usually by the time they realize something is seriously wrong, it’s too late. A lot of times women will line up your replacement well in advance before they actually dump you. Some women may even go out on dates with your replacement as they tell themselves it’s totally okay as long as there is no kissing or touching. It really depends upon what each particular woman feels is the red line between cheating, and just checking out your other options.

So by the time a woman finally dumps you, you might not have any other options besides walking away, but leaving the door open for her to come back if it does not work out with your replacement. As I talked about in my article, the best strategy to get an ex-lover back, you simply state what you want and tell her to call you if she changes her mind. Chasing her, pleading with her, begging her to come back, etc. will not work. It’s cute in the movies, but does not work in real life.

The following is an e-mail from a reader. His fiancée unexpectedly ended their relationship after he became seriously ill and withdrew from the relationship. I think things were going downhill long before he realized they were. Why? Because she wasted no time hooking up with someone new. More than likely she lined up his replacement, and only dumped him when it was convenient for her. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Corey,

First of all, I will never be able to repay you for the information I’ve learned in your book, at this point I’ve read it 12 times and I learn something new each time. Thank you. (Feel free to hit the “PayPal Donate” button on the Wibiya tool bar at the bottom of this page and donate any amount you feel is warranted. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn the basics of approaching, dating & understanding what women really want in a man.)

Here’s my problem, I met a woman 4 and a half years ago. As you said in your book, I did everything right and she fell in love with me. We were to be married Nov of this last year. 3 months before the wedding I became really ill. Big mistake in my life was when I became ill I just wanted to be alone. I do not like to be mothered, so I put my girl friend on the back burner. (Bad move. This made her feel like you really did not care that much for her.) I noticed all the signs that she was losing interest and tried to explain to her that I would get better, sex went downhill.

We had a wonderful sex life up to that point. By the time I got well, she broke off the wedding and is now seeing a new guy she has been seeing for 3 months. (That was fast! I bet things were going downhill way before you noticed. Sounds like she had a replacement for you all lined up before she dumped you.) We live in a very small town and she lives right across the street from me. During that time I did everything wrong. Begged her to come back, said some nasty things to her, and her to me, etc. I’m still very much in love with her, but I finally had enough emotional abuse that I just walked away. Since I walked away she does small things to get my attention, but is still seeing this guy that she told me it was just for sex. That was a month ago. I know what your book says about interest level, but don’t know what hers is since I have not spoken to her for awhile. (It’s obviously really low since you have not heard from her. She sounds like she has moved on.) I have no trouble getting interest from other women, (Focus on having some fun with these other ladies. Your ex is getting her bell rung by someone else and so should you!) but I want her interest back. (Next time you see her tell her to call you if things don’t work out with the other dude, or when she is incredibly horny and needs a fix. Its only across the street after all.) Since you don’t know all there is about the both of us, (I know enough from what you have shared here.) is there an exception to the rules in your book concerning this? (Look at her actions only. She’s with the other guy. Let her come to you if it does not work out by leaving the door open for her to come back. Don’t burn the bridge. She’s simply another future possibility.) I do want her back, but I’m not showing any signs of that to her. I’m being centered with myself and going about my life. (That’s all you can do in this situation.) Is this situation a lost cause? (For now yes. If it does not work out with the other guy, she may contact you if it does not.) Should I just continue to move on like I’ve done, (yes) and see if this is just a rebound hoping we can reconnect? I know who she is seeing and he is a big player, he owns the bar in town. What to do? (Keep moving on and practicing what you learned in my book with new women so you can be prepared to meet someone better, or be ready for her if she contacts you to rekindle things. Maybe you hear from her, maybe you don’t.) Thanks again for listening.

Jerry

P.S. If I’d had your book 6 months ago we would have been married now.

“You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.” – Oprah