When It’s Better To Let Her Chase You

When it’s better to let women chase you.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss 2 different emails from 2 different viewers. The 1^st email is from a bartender who takes women’s contact info when they have asked for his. He usually gets ghosted when he does this. He’s confused. The 2^nd email is from a viewer who has a female orbiter who has been flakey in the past. She saw him out with 3 women and texted him. Her attitude seems to have changed. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of their emails.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “When It’s Better To Let Women Chase You.”

So I got two different emails. They’re pretty short actually. And so, the first one is from a guy he says he’s read my book three times. That’s 3% Man obviously. And so, what we notice he’s a bartender, which if you’re a young guy and you’re a bartender, that’s a great way to meet people. It’s a great way to practice your social skills, and especially if you’re one of those guys that’s kind of shy around women, especially pretty women, you have to talk to them in order to take their order and to serve them when they sit at your bar.

And so, this particular guy, he notices he gets hit on, and women ask him for either his phone number or his Instagram. And instead of giving that to them, he asked for theirs instead. And then when he reaches out, he follows them or he contacts them. They basically blow him off or ghost him. And so he’s wondering why this is happening. And then the second one is a guy that he says he’s had this female orbiter for years. She messages him once in a while. She seems interested. And then she won’t ever agree to make plans with him.

And so, apparently a couple nights ago, he was out and he had three beautiful girls with him, and then she reached out. And so, it just goes to show how quickly things turn around. And so, the reason why I picked these two emails is, if you think about it from this perspective, most guys tend to have the attitude of, “what can I do to get this girl to like me? How do I get her? How do I get her to choose me over all the other guys?”

And for those of you that are real familiar with my work and understand it well, it’s kind of flipping the script, turning things around and creating the conditions where you’re seen as a man as the most eligible bachelor, especially when you are seen in the company of other beautiful women.

Then other women just assume you’re sleeping with them. And so that’s why you’ll notice that they’ll go from being totally disinterested into you, and then as soon as they see you with a pretty girl now they’re interested. I wrote about several examples of that in my Book when it happened to me when I was younger and the light bulbs started going off.

But it’s a much better place to be the guy who women are trying to get their attention. And biologically and just the way women operate, they’re designed to get our attention anyways. So create the conditions by having a great life and a lifestyle to where you’re successful, you’re competent, you’re decently fit and in shape.

You don’t have to be Mr. Olympia or be taken steroids and all these other things to blow yourself up to the point where you can’t even walk down the street and you couldn’t even run if you needed to run because your muscles are so tight and big. But you just got to be a minimally competent dude and women will be chasing you.

And so, this first guy, he’s trying to control things a little too much. And so, he goes from being the guy that the women are trying to get the attention of, and he completely flips the script back the wrong way, which now he’s like trying to get their attention. And then he wonders why he gets ghosted.

So it’s a good couple of emails just to go over the mindset that the guys that we need to have in order to create the conditions where women are pursuing us because they’re natural pursuers. It’s our job to start the courtship. But once a woman’s interest becomes engaged, usually most women sleep with a guy by the second or third date, and then after that they start calling more and texting more.

And then you just set dates. But especially like this guy that’s the bartender. The women are already trying to start pursuing him and chasing him, and he stops them, flips it around, and then acts like a guy that’s afraid they’re never going to get in touch. And then that’s exactly what happens. They don’t want to talk to him after that.

1^st Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I’ve read your book 3% Man 3 times already. I follow your guides and I see it changed my life already. However, one thing that happens in my life still isn’t clear for me. I work as a bartender and talk to a lot of people.

Sometimes, I have situations in which girls who are customers ask me for my contact information like my Instagram or phone number.

This is the best position to be in as a man. Because they’re asking for your contact info. Give it to them. And they can reach out to you or not. Because what’s happening is they’ve kind of got you a little bit on a pedestal. And as a bartender, you’re the guy, you’re in a position of authority. You’re the guy that can decide to serve somebody drinks, and you can also decide to cut somebody off if they get too drunk and belligerent or they don’t have their ID, whatever it happens to be.

So you’re in a position of authority and power, especially if you’re at a busy bar and there’s lots of pretty girls around the bar, and other women come and sit and see that you’re talking to all these pretty girls at the bar. They assume you’re probably sleeping with one or all of them. And if you already have enough women in your life and you have choice with women and another pretty girl asks you for your number, your contact information, you’re going to give it out, and you’re not going to really care much about it.

Because you’re going to be in a state of abundance and you’re going to have the attitude of, hey, let the best girl win me over. And so what this guy is doing is he’s interrupting that and just completely blowing things up unnecessarily. It’s there already, in essence, kind of begging to allow them to chase some. And he’s saying, “no, no, no, no, let me chase you instead.” And then they disappear because it makes all the mystery evaporate. Those are not the actions of a guy that has too many women in his life.

Those are the actions of a guy that’s afraid the women are going to blow him off, because that’s typically what happens. And so he goes from being perceived as a guy who’s a challenge to a guy who has no luck with women. And as soon as they think you’re not successful with other women and other women don’t like you or don’t want to sleep with you, they’re gone, which is what’s happening to him. And the guy is totally cock blocking himself here and he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing wrong.

Sometimes, I have situations in which girls who are customers ask me for my contact information like my Instagram or phone number. I usually take it from them instead.

It’s like, that’s where you’re fucking up, dude. You shouldn’t be doing that at all. You should give it out to them and say, yeah, hit me up. Then they’re chasing you, then they’re pursuing you. They’re worried about you rejecting them. And as soon as you won’t give it out and you take theirs instead, you’re automatically like every other dude or beta male that can’t get laid. And so that’s why they dip on you.

However, after giving me their contact (which they asked me for) they unfollow me the next day, or even do not accept my follow request.

So because you go from allowing women who already want to pursue you to stopping them from pursuing you, so you could pursue them. So of course, because they already have enough fans, they don’t need you. You go from being the unattainable challenge to a guy that just basically says, oh, I want to be one of your fans, and that’s why they’re dipping on you.

Before yesterday I had a situation in which a French girl (I am from Poland actually) after a short conversation told me that I am cute and gave me her Instagram. I send her a follow request, actually 2 days after she did not even accept the follow request. She has a private account.

Well, if you’re at a bar and you’re busy and she’s like, oh, let me give you my Instagram, I’d just say, “well, I’m not really on social media very much, but, you know, write your number down on a piece of paper. Hand her yours like give me a call sometime or whatever, or just say, “take your phone out to give you my number. You can text me or whatever.”

So the idea is instead of you taking their contact information, you what you want to say is because women typically do when they’re not interested is if you ask them for their number, they go, “oh, well, I don’t give it out. But, you know, give me your business card or give me your number instead, or what’s your Instagram?”

And the reason they take it is because they have no intention of getting in contact with you. They’re just trying to get rid of you. And so when you act that way where you’re like, “no, no, give me your information.” You’re almost communicating that you’re not into them. And so it’s a bad way to go. It’s like these girls already want to chase and pursue you and you’re stealing their fun.

And so, like I said, if a girl is coming into a bar and she tells you that she’s cute and she’s like, “oh, let me give you my Instagram.” I was like, “no. Take my phone number, hit me up.” Just say, “I don’t do social media.” Give the phone number and then she can text you or not. That’d be better than giving out social media handles.

I am really confused, so please tell me what is the reason that girls ask me for contact information and then nothing comes out of it.

Maybe they had a couple drinks, but what you said was most of the time is that women ask you for your info and then you won’t give it to them, and then you ask for theirs instead. And then they dip on you. And so you got one example of a woman that offers to give you her Instagram. And what she’s really saying is that she wants you to be one of her fans.

And what you’re doing is you’re willingly complying. “Oh, I’ll be one of your fans.” So when a girl says, “oh, let me give you my Instagram”, I was like, “I don’t want your Instagram. I was like, give me your number or here, take my number and give me a call.” Scarcity creates value, my man. So you’re just unnecessarily cock blocking yourself.

So let’s go through the second email.

2^nd Viewer’s Email:

Thought you’d get a kick out of the screenshot at the bottom.

A little background for context:

I’ve had this female orbiter for a few years. She messages me once in a while, acts interested, but always falls short of agreeing to definite plans.

Well, that typically means she likes the attention and the validation, but she’s really not that into you. Because if she was into you, she’d make definite plans and keep it.

However, 2 nights ago she saw me out with 3 attractive women and her interest level seems to have taken off like a SpaceX rocket. I’m focusing on letting her do the pursuing due to her flaky history, and I won’t be surprised if she flakes again, but it’s a testament to the impact a little mystery can have on a girl. Cheers Coach!

So in this particular case, it’s a girl that blew him off or has blown him off several times in the past. And so in this particular case, this girl, before I get into the text exchange, she’s reaching out to him. And since she’s flaked multiple times and he’s probably already asked her out many times and she won’t ever make definite plans, then what I would do is I would respond to her message like he did, but I wouldn’t bring up getting together because unless she brings up getting together, she’s not really into it.

In other words, if it’s not her idea, she’s probably going to blow you off. That’s why it’s better in this case if you have plenty of women in your life and this girl from your past shows up. Are you going to call her? Are you going to text her? Are you even going to ask her out? No, because she’s flaked on you several times before. You won’t be rude to her. You’ll treat her. In essence, how would you treat a girl that you were tired of fucking or you were bored of?

Well, in this case, I’d be pretty bored of the fact that she had flaked on me several times, so I’m not going to give her the opportunity to waste any more of my time. I’m not going to be rude or an ass to her. I’m always going to be my playful self, but I’m just not going to bring up getting together. The only way I’ll make plans with somebody like this is if she brings it up, because if she brings it up, it’s her idea and the chances of her flaking are really going to be low in that case. And so she reaches out to him and says.

By the way, who were all the girls that you were with the other night? All friends? There were so many with you. Lol. You filled your car Bob. Lol. What was that?

So he hasn’t heard from her in I don’t know how long. It’s obviously been a while since they last spoke And as soon as she sees him with three pretty girls, would she thinking, oh, he’s probably fucking one of them. That’s why she say, are they just friends?

Oh no, those were my girlfriends. But don’t worry, I have room in the car for one more.

And he’s got a little smiley face with the tongue sticking out and one eye closed and the other one open. And so that’s the perfect response. He doesn’t ask her out. Hey, how you been? I’d love to see you. He doesn’t do any of that because she’s been so flaky. And so he’s responding in a playful way that’s kind of mysterious and doesn’t really give her a serious answer. And who cares what happens with it? Because if you have plenty of women in your life and say he was fucking all three of those girls, he’s not going to be rude to the woman that flaked on him. He’ll be playful. He’ll be fun.

Because this is the way he treats all women, and the only way she’ll get a chance to go on a date with him is if she brings it up. If she mentions, “hey, we should get together. Hey. We’ve never. I haven’t seen you in a long time.” Or whatever it happens to be. She’s got to bring up getting together. Otherwise she’ll just disappear from your life forever. And that’s what you want. You want somebody that wants to be with you. Not somebody that’s sitting on the fence or somebody that jerks you around.

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