Why Women Can’t Say No

Here’s why women will give you their phone number, but then ignore your phone calls, texts and messages. If you study what I teach long enough and interact with enough women, you will develop a tremendous sense of compassion and empathy for women and what they have to put up with from clueless guys who can’t take the hint that she’s not interested. Have you ever gotten a phone number from a woman you thought really liked you, but you could never seem to get her on the phone or to respond to your texts? I mean, it makes sense that if a woman gives you her phone number it means that she wants you to have it, right? Wrong! Unfortunately, most women over the years have had to put up with hundreds of guys who created really awkward situations when they have communicated they’re not interested. A lot of women have found it is just easier to give out their phone number and then let the guy wear himself out talking to their voicemail. Some guys keep calling because they rationalize that since she gave them her phone number, she has to be interested. The thought never crosses their mind that maybe the only reason she gave out her phone number was to get rid of them quickly. The following is an e-mail from a guy whose girlfriend has recently given her phone number to a guy who keeps hitting on her at the restaurant where she works. When she came home she told her boyfriend about this without hesitation. However, he wonders why she just did not say, “I have a boyfriend” and leave it at that. He’s unsure of how to handle this situation. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Hey man…

I’m glad that I found your website and have been on it ever since the first day religiously. Thanks to you, I’ve learned a whole lot of vital info. I do have a question though. I have a girlfriend and we’ve been seeing each other for a few months now. However, she’s got this random guy hitting on her. He comes to her workplace which is the restaurant she works at, and tries to talk to her as well as offer her rides. She declines the offers and tells me about the whole scenario on how this guys hitting on her. (Women who are happy and comfortable will tell their men about all the other men who hit on her so he knows she’s faithful to him. However, it’s when she stops telling you these things that you have to worry. If you have a freakout about this, she will start keeping these things from you.) But one day apparently she bumped into this guy on the bus and he asked her for her number and she gave it to him. She told me about this and said that she expected a laugh from me to which I did slightly, (She assumed that you would never get jealous, upset or feel threatened by another man. She assumed you would not create an awkward moment by getting upset. You did not, therefore you passed that test.) but maybe I have a different outlook on things to which in my own mind she could have just declined and said she was seeing someone or had a boyfriend. (Correct. Any guy would think that. However, we must learn to walk in a woman’s shoes and try to see and feel what she does to understand why she would do such a thing.) I asked her about this and she said it seemed rude if she simply declined. She doesn’t want the awkwardness that she has to deal with after saying no. (THAT’S A HUGE STATEMENT. Most women have been in situations like this where they tell a guy she has a boyfriend, she’s not interested, etc. and the guy gets pissed off or won’t take no for an answer because he has allowed himself to become brainwashed by the media into believing if he’s just persistent long enough she will love him. Women who are usually weaker physically and to avoid a confrontation, will give out their phone number so they can ignore the guy later on when he calls. Most guys eventually go away. They fear coming across the one’s that don’t.) First off, she did tell me this for the reasons to which I think she is being very open. (That is a good sign.) With that I guess she has a level of trust in me too. (yep) Also, she did explain that she didn’t know how to respond to the situation and kinda felt bad for the guy. So for the sake of getting him off her back about hitting on her, she said that she gave him her number anyway. She told me that if he did call that she would ignore him, and that somehow this works for her getting guys to stop bugging her. (So if you are single and reading this and a woman gives you her number, but never calls you back, it’s because she was not interested in you in the first place. Attraction isn’t a choice.) I don’t understand why, but she could have just said no instead. Is this normal for women? (They do it all the time. However, you should tell her that out of respect for your relationship, to be honest and not give a guy false hope. This can piss the guy off later when he learns she was jerking his chain. Just say, “I’m flattered! Thank you so much, but I have a boyfriend.) Should I toss her off the plank, or am I reading into this way too much? (Just relax and pay attention to what she does, not what she says.) I tease her now and then about giving her number away to random dudes, and we have a laugh about it.(Stop it immediately!!! That communicates you are insecure about it. This will cause women to test you more to find your weaknesses.) I don’t want to control her in anyway since I’m confident enough as a grown man that if she fucks up, then all that is left for me to do is say… peace out! (Yes. A woman must know, without you threatening her, that if she pushes you too far you will walk and never look back. “The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.” ~ Michael Yon.) Is that too harsh? (My life is a drama free zone because my girlfriends always know the boundaries of what I am willing to tolerate. Treat me the way I want to be treated and I will do the same, or I will find someone else who does. If you do not like how someone is treating you, you have the right to leave the relationship to find what you really want. Most people are too weak to do that. That is why most people live lives of mediocrity and quite desperation.) Am I being a fucking bitch whining about the fact that she did give her number away, or do I have a legitimate reason to be more curious about the situation? (Tell her the right thing to do is to be honest and tell guys she’s taken. If a guy won’t go away, then tell her to let you know and you will handle it. Have her give you the guys phone number and you can have a chat with him. You don’t need to be a dick or threaten him. Just say, “I would appreciate it if you would stop hitting on and leave my girlfriend alone. You’re making her feel very uncomfortable and she’s politely told you no on several occasions. You need to respect her wishes. I’m sure you would not like it if some guy was trying to rip off your girlfriend would you? So are we cool?” Most guys always go away at that point. If they don’t, then get her manager and the authorities involved. Let them handle it.) Anyways, do you think her reasons for what she did was right? (Most women do that to avoid conflict and awkward situations. However, she should not be giving out her number when she’s got a boyfriend. It’s inappropriate.) I just want to know what your take is on this. (You should also read my book. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)

Thanks man,

Troy

“Women can’t say no to your face and reject you because they’re afraid you won’t be able to handle the truth that they’re not interested which may cause you to create an awkward situation that makes them feel uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s easier to give out their phone number and reject you later by ignoring you and hoping you get the hint and go away.” ~ Corey Wayne