9 Principles For Setting Definite Dates

May 30, 2016 by Coach Corey Wayne
iStock.com/svetikd
Photo by iStock.com/svetikd

Nine principles you should use for properly setting definite dates with women that lead to them keeping the date, and showing up when they say they are going to, instead of blowing you off and standing you up.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who says he has been following my work since the beginning of the year. He says he has set first dates with four different women. All four of them stood him up. He asks why and what he should do differently. The second email is from a viewer from Venezuela who recently reconnected with a woman he went to high school with. He has tried setting a date with her, but she only seems to jerk him around, and he’s getting nowhere. He asks what he should do to get her out on a date.

The third email is from a woman who is spending time off and on with another woman who never sets a date with her, but does spend time with her sporadically. She says she prefers to be spontaneous. This woman admits things were going well at first, then she stopped applying what my book teaches, and things went sideways. She asks what she can do to set definite dates with her, instead of getting vague non-answers when she asks. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.

Here are nine principles you should follow to ensure women keep your definite dates:

iStock.com/Todor Tsvetkov
iStock.com/Todor Tsvetkov

1) It’s always best to ask, “When are you free to get together?” or “What’s your schedule like this coming week?” or “What’s your schedule availability like this week to meet up?” It’s much easier to ask her when she is available, and then pick one of those days and times that you are also available, instead of asking her out for specific days and times before you know her availability. (The idea is to be successful in finding out when she’s available.)2) Only make dates with women who seem excited and enthusiastic about making a date with you. (Way too many guys only pay attention to their own attraction level towards a woman and completely ignore the fact she has no enthusiasm towards going out on a date with them.)

3) The more resistance you encounter when trying to set a date, the higher the likelihood she will be a no show, turn you down, give you a non-answer or cancel.

4) Never accept a maybe date. If you hear a “maybe” when you ask a woman out, withdraw the offer and say this: “It sounds like you are unsure of your schedule. Why don’t we just do it another time?” (That’s what we call the takeaway in sales. After you say that, you can’t say anything else. You must wait for her to respond.) (She’ll either back up and accept your terms, meaning you’re in, or just unenthusiastically say “okay,” which means you’re out), or “It sounds like you are unsure of your schedule. Why don’t you just get in touch with me when you figure out your schedule, and we can plan something then?” (Don’t start calling and texting if you haven’t heard from her in a few days. Never contact a woman again if you told her to get in touch with you.) Then, end the call or conversation. Never contact a woman again if you told her to get in touch with you when she figures out her schedule. She will only contact you in the future to do so if there is enough interest on her part. Otherwise, you will never hear from her again.

iStock.com/nicoletaionescu
iStock.com/nicoletaionescu

5) Never accept a call back to verify the plans or call back to confirm the plans type of date. (If she’s not sure of her schedule, you should tell her you’ll do it some other time.) If you do, there is a 99.9999% chance you will never have a date. Women who have low interest will tell you to call back to confirm.

6) If she says something may come up or she may have to do something else, never accept this. You either have definite plans or no deal, withdraw the offer.

7) A definite date means you have a definite day for the date to happen, a definite time it will happen and you have a definite place to meet her or pick her up. If you are picking her up, get her address when making the date or withdraw the offer. (A definite date means you already have her address.)

8) Make sure she agrees and accepts the terms of the date. Don’t just tell a woman when and where and expect her to show up. Women are not dogs and will not follow your orders. Extend an invitation for a date, and then give her time to respond by keeping your mouth shut and waiting for her reply before you speak or message her again. (The idea is, you’re offering to get together, and if she’s interested, she’ll say yes.)

9) Always make sure if you are meeting her somewhere, you say this, “Okay, so I will see you at 123 Oak Street, Wednesday @ 7 pm. If something comes up I will call you and likewise. You have my number in case something comes up on your end. Otherwise, I will just see you there. If you get there first, get us a table. If I get their first, I will get us a table. Does that sound good? So you’re definitely in?” Make sure she says yes and accepts these terms, or withdraw the offer. (Women who are definitely in will make the date with no hesitation.)

First Viewer’s Email:

iStock.com/Vasiliki Varvaki
iStock.com/Vasiliki Varvaki

Hey Coach,I live in the Caribbean and I have been following your work since the beginning of the year. I have your book and am in the third time of reading it. I follow your principles and I got phone numbers from girls and made dates. They said yes, and I asked them when they’re available. They gave me complete answers, and I told them the time and where to meet up. For the fourth time now, I have been stood up by girls. I waited for half an hour, no sign of them and no text or phone call from them. Any advice? Because am tired being stood up.

Bob

My Response:

Hi Bob,

You’re either setting dates with women who have low to no interest in you, and they don’t care about blowing you off, or you’re not setting a definite date properly. “I told them the time and where to meet up.” Women are not dogs and do not follow your orders. Invite them to join you, and make sure they enthusiastically accept your date offer and agree to it, or withdraw the offer. You’re only paying attention to your interest and ignoring their lack of interest.

Corey

Second Viewer’s Email:

iStock.com/hoozone
iStock.com/hoozone

Hi Coach!!I’m wondering if you could help me here. There’s this girl that i was friends with when we were like 13 years old, now were 18, and shes smokin’ hot, so I found her on the social network. I ended up asking her out on Snapchat. She told me, “Didn’t I give you my number? Write to my WhatsApp,” so I wrote her to set a date. I didn’t set the time, place, or day, (Men are supposed to be direct, decisive and get right to the point, but when you’re indecisive, you’re acting weak), but I told her that I wanted to meet her the next day, and she told me that she couldn’t go out until the weekend. I told her “Okay, then the weekend it is.”

That was a Wednesday, so on Friday, I asked her “Hi, is the date still up?” and she told me, “I think so. If don’t go to my aunt’s city, Valencia, Venezuela, yes.” (She set a maybe date, because guys like this will keep calling. You’re setting yourself up to be a last resort.) I told her “Okay. Do you want to go to Taco Palace tomorrow afternoon?” and she told me, “Yeah, yeah.” Saturday comes up, I saw that she went to clubs Thursday night and Friday night, although she told me that she couldn’t go out those days, (She just didn’t want to go out with you), and I write her “Hello, are you going to your aunt’s city?” She didn’t respond for four hours, and when she answered, she told me “Yes, I’m going in about half an hour,” so I told her “Oh okay, so we’ll leave it to the next week then.” She told me “Yes, I think it’s the best.” Then I told her, “Hey, I’m going be in some place tomorrow, that place is on the way to her aunt’s city, Valencia, Venezuela. If you want, you can come over. I’ll be there.” She read the message and didn’t respond. (You’re acting like a guy who can’t get a date, and women blow off guys like that all of the time.)

iStock.com/PeopleImages
iStock.com/PeopleImages

So, I really want to go out with this girl, I really, really like her and don’t want to screw it up. (How much you like her has no effect on her attraction level for you.) I want to at least go on one date, so she can realize that I’m a good catch. (You’ve already fumbled the ball.) I don’t know if shes attracted to me, or if she really wants to see me. (If she really wanted to see you, she would have made plans.) I don’t want to bother her too much, asking her out again, so what would you do? Would you wait 3 or 4 days to set a date with a time and place? (At this point, I would wait two weeks. Don’t call her. Unless she messages you directly, ignore her. If she doesn’t reach out to you at all, make one more attempt to make plans.) How do I ask her out again, since the previously set date didn’t occur? (If she reaches out, make one more attempt to make a definite date. You will either make definite plans, or withdraw the offer.)

Thanks Coach,

Bob

Third Viewer’s Email:

Corey,

First, I would like to say thank you for sharing your findings about relationships, I am surprised how on-point everything is. I am a woman who benefits from your e-book and videos, because my relationships are with women. In the past, I “dated” this gorgeous German woman who is funny, caring, she would cook for me most mornings, she was fit, and desired by many. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was, because my relationships with her resulted from teachings of your book. Unfortunately, once I got with her, I made a huge mistake and stopped paying attention to your book. (You’ve got to read my book 10-15 times.) When she eventually told me she just wanted to be friends, and I remembered to pick your book back up, I was back in her bed literally the next day.

iStock.com/Rikke Breiting
iStock.com/Rikke Breiting

I have been creating attraction. She’s been texting me first, asking what I’m doing, wondering why I’m not with her, even telling me things like, I better not be getting massages by any one else. Here’s the reason why I put the word “date” in quotation marks: We have never been on an actual date. I am over at her house often. However, she always tends to shy away from setting a definite date somewhere fun, when I bring it up. I have started telling her, “Let me know when you’re available to go have a good time.” She finally replied that she wants things to be spontaneous. (When you’re busy, you can’t just drop what you’re doing to go spend time with her. With this particular woman, I would let her do 100% of the pursuing from now on.) Every once in a while, when I ask her out and she says no, I go out with another woman and Snapchat how much fun we have, and my ex gets noticeably jealous. How do I set dates with her to go to places that I know she will enjoy, and that will create even more attraction? (Your job as the masculine essence in this relationship is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun and hook up. It’s that simple. Let her do all of the pursuing from now on, and don’t call or text her for any reason. If you hear from her, assume she wants to see you, and make a definite date. The next three dates need to be at your house. She must come to you. Follow what I teach in my article and video, “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” and you should be fine.)

Jessica

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“A person’s personality is a reflection of who they are. Their attitude towards you is a reflection of how you are showing up in their life. If you act like a person of value and see yourself as having value, you’ll never agree to terms that diminish your value in your eyes, or theirs. If anyone treats you or tries to treat you like you do not matter or are not very valuable to them, then you must let them go and move on to find someone who appreciates you. Allowing others to disrespect you or take you for granted enables and invites their continued mistreatment. This also lowers their level of respect for you. It is impossible for people to love you when they do not respect you. True love is freedom. Love for yourself means you simply will not stick around or let other people stick around in your life who try to diminish your magnificence in any way. Give people the permanent gift of missing you when they demonstrate disrespectful and devaluing behavior towards you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on May 30, 2016

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