How to master a true alpha’s state of mind, so you can date the kind of women you really want and reach your full potential.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different email success stories from two different viewers. The first email is from a guy who got divorced after a twenty-five year relationship that did a number on his self-confidence and self-esteem. He shares how he turned things around and what he did that made his personal life easy and effortless.
The second email is from a guy who was beat down after a twelve-year toxic marriage. Now he is engaged to a smoke-show that looks like Scarlett Johansson. She also revealed after they got serious that she also likes women. They are both dating her hot girlfriend in addition to dating many other beautiful women. He’s living a life that most men can only dream about and shares how he did it. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the bodies of their emails.
First Viewer’s Email:
I don’t have a question, but a success story. I’ve bought both of your books through Amazon and listened through Audible. I listened to 3% Man about 12 times and Mastering Yourself 3 times.
If you want help with the ladies, read “How To Be A 3% Man.” If you’re trying to figure out your purpose and your mission in life, and you want to become a more self-reliant human being, “Mastering Yourself” obviously would be the book you’d want to start off with.
I got divorced after a 25-year relationship after having the shit kicked out of me psychologically that whole time.
Can you imagine, twenty-five years? I’ve seen this so many times over my career — relationships for decades that just suck. And they don’t do anything about it. No matter where you’re at, there’s always somebody that no matter how old they get, they wipe the slate clean and they start over. And that’s what this guy did.
I didn’t believe in divorce, so I stuck it out WAY too long.
That was probably somebody else’s belief system that you adopted. But after twenty-five years, you’re like, this is madness. This is not a fulfilling way to live.
When the relationship was over, it’s like the emotional flood gates opened. Most people would call me a man’s, man, but emotionally I was a real bitch when it came to women.
I wrote about that in my book, several examples I put in there of guys that are just amazing, successful dudes but they get around a pretty girl, and they just turn in Gumby. It’s not attractive, and it’s not going to help you get what you want.
I realized immediately that how I was feeling and acting wasn’t normal. I moved half-way across the country for a fresh start. I began to research and found your material and dove in head first. I listened to your books over and over as I used your videos to supplement.
That’s just a complete wiping of the slate — moving to a new area, where you pretty much don’t know anybody. Maybe you don’t even have any friends there, and you’re completely starting over at ground zero. It takes balls to do that. That’s masculinity. That’s courage. That’s taking a major risk. Leaving behind everything you’ve known for decades and moving half-way across the country — that’s impressive. That’s what a man does.
As I moved to the new state, I began to talk to everyone. I knew that I needed TONS of practice, so I was using Match.com, as well as cold approaches. I was going on 2-4 dates a week with different women for almost a year. It’s funny, I had these old habits that were SO hard to break.
I’m assuming he’s probably somewhere around my age, maybe 40s, 50s, somewhere in that area. When you’ve been doing this decade after decade, your whole identity, your whole world believes in how you show up. And then when you start applying the things that are in “How To Be A 3% Man,” oftentimes it’s the complete opposite of what you think and you feel you should do. So it’s hard.
You’ve got decades of being the old way, or the wrong way, that doesn’t work, and now every time you apply what you’re learning from me or my books, you’re creating a new paradigm. You’re creating a new mindset. You’re looking at the world in a different way. The more you do that — like I say all the time, repetition is the mother of skill — and you want to read the book 10-15 times, that becomes your new mindset, your new reality. That becomes the way you interact with the world.
And what really builds your confidence is when you see the things that are in my book start to work. And that further reinforces you more of what the book teaches.
After studying your material, I began to know instinctively what to do but would still do some stupid shit but catch it immediately, Lol! So, I’d practice again, and again until I got it right.
In other words, you practice it over and over again until you can’t get it wrong, and you always get it right. If you’ve ever seen guys that play in the NBA when they try to purposely miss a basket, they have a hard time missing, because they’ve always been focused on making the basket. That’s what you want to get to. That’s when you’re proficient, when you don’t have to think about it anymore. It’s just instinct.
I also realized that I must improve me. I’ve been a voracious student of other self-help material, going through at least 1 new book a week!
Anyway, it took about a year and a half, but by that time, I have to admit, I was pretty smooth. I NEVER got nervous, I had the end of the dates down pat, and was constantly being complimented on my confidence.
These are all things I say in my book that’s what’s going to happen. This is your new experience. This is the way your life will be when you apply these things consistently.
After about a year and a half total, I met an amazing woman! A 9.5! Educated, sweet, open, feminine… I mean smoking. Guess what! 12 weeks and she’s dropping the “L” word. Don’t worry, I’m still going over your material. I know that I CAN’T fall back into my old habits! I really do get that!
Well, what’s going to be important, now that you’re in a relationship, is to learn the relationship things — the pieces of wisdom that are mostly in the back of the book of “How To Be A 3% Man.” When I do phone sessions with guys for long-term relationships, there’s always two reasons whey they’re struggling. Either A) they stop dating and courting their girl properly, or B) they’re not communicating in a way that makes her feel heard and understood. If a woman doesn’t feel heard and understood, the legs close. If she does, the legs open. It’s just a fact of life.
I don’t know if you realize how much you do to help so many of us. I’m a different person! I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been. Not just because of the great woman, but because of who I have become! I honestly don’t think that it would have happened without your material.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Coach.
Well, thanks for being you dude. Thanks for being a 3% Man and joining the 3% Club, because the world desperately needs more dudes like you that have their shit together. Because just the energy you bring to a room, an environment or a meeting, whatever it happens to be, you’re bringing a superior vibe that’s more in line with peace, and ease, and delight, and harmony and effortlessness.
It’s a much more efficient physiology and vibe. Therefore, everybody around you, even people in a grumpy, angry state are naturally going to entrain with your more relaxed, more humorous type of state, just because it feels better, it’s easier and it’s natural. So without even realizing it, just your energy changes your world and every room you walk into.
Second Viewer’s Email:
I’ve waited some time to write you to thank you for what you’re offering men. It is, in my humble opinion, absolutely critical. I suppose I wanted to know for certain that what’s happening in my life wasn’t some kind of fluke before I reached out with a success story.
I appreciate the fact that you took the time to get to that place.
It all started in 2015 when I woke up to the sudden realization that my 12-year marriage was absolutely toxic. I had lived my entire romantic life as a little beta, (despite being 6’3″ and holding rank in seven different martial arts).
Like I said in the beginning of the video, being an alpha is not about kicking people’s asses. There’s lots of really tough dudes that when they get around a woman, or their girlfriend or their wife, they’re just fucking jello, and it’s really unattractive. I’m sure everybody watching this has seen guys go through that metamorphosis, and it’s fucking disgusting.
My behavior toward women was one of a pleasing beggar. Now that I know what I know, it’s difficult for me to look back on those days without facepalming. It is what it is though.
After finally getting strong enough to leave my ex, I wallowed through many different dating advice ‘gurus’ until I stumbled on your stuff.
Well, I’m a life coach and I teach self-reliance. That’s what sets me apart from everybody else. I focus on the inner you, the mindset and helping you reach your full potential. Because when you’re able to look around at your life, whether it’s your personal life, your professional life or just your social life, and everything you see for the most part is there by your design and your choice because it pleases you, that’s when you know you’ve arrived. That’s what being self-reliant is all about. Not being some scared little person that’s afraid of the world.
A lot of your advice was absolutely counter intuitive to what I’d been taught by society, so I took it to my female friends who nodded their heads emphatically. So, I dove in.
Fast forward to having listened to your book on audio 10-15 times and worked hard to overcome my old pleaser state of mind, my life is nothing like it was. I cannot describe to you how hard I struggled with dating when I was younger. Now… it’s just fun.
Two years ago, I met an extremely cute redhead with EXACTLY Scarlett Johansson’s measurements.
She’s got a nice body. I’ve got to admit that — really nice curves. So I’m with you dude.
She was nerdy and funny and intensely cool. Of course, she had a ton of guys chasing her, and she’d been single for quite some time looking for a solid man.
Well, a super high-quality woman is not going to settle for any old dude. They have no problem being single until they meet the right guy. And as a guy, that’s a great place that you want to be as well, because we’re surrounded by people who have settled in every area of their life. So you can be like the rest of the crowd, or you can stand out and be part of the 3% Club.
When we met, I had finally gotten myself into a true alpha’s state of mind. I was kind, loving, needed nothing from her, and offered no apologies for telling her she was smoking hot. Yet, when I didn’t pursue her after letting her know I found her gorgeous and cool, she chased me down like a panther. We just got engaged a few days ago!
It’s pretty powerful to be able to walk up to a beautiful woman, whether it’s at a party, or an event or you’re just walking down the street, and just say “You’re absolutely fucking gorgeous. You’ve got an incredible body. Have a great night,” and then go about your business.
If you haven’t tried that, try that. It’s pretty interesting what happens, especially for the really super beautiful women. Because they’re not used to dudes walking away like that. A guy that walks away like that, it’s the vibe of a guy that already has enough feminine energy in his life. He doesn’t need more. It’s the paradox of choice.
In other words, if you know that you can have the best of the best in everything in life, you’re going to want to make sure, whether it’s your friends or somebody you date, that those people really want to be in your life. When you ask them out, they’re like “Fuck Yeah!”
Now, when I talk about relationships and how broken most men are, my female friends beg me to teach their boyfriends and other men how to step up.
This is what I was talking about in the first guy’s email. I can’t be everywhere, and I can’t influence every single person. And a guy like you that’s exuding this, and everybody can see that and how well you’re doing, they’ll listen to you because you’re setting the vibe and the tone in your world.
I invariably recommend your books and videos and find myself eye-rolling at their dating stories.
Today I’m VERY happy with my fiancé, but I also live my life with extremely hot women just circling waiting for her to misstep. She won’t though… I think. My attitude is, she’s amazing and I love her, but I won’t compromise who I am or my standards for anyone, even ScarJo’s body double.
That’s the right mindset dude, and that’s why she loves you.
That leaves her literally melting for me every day. But note, I spend every day with her as you suggested… I go to give.
Love is about giving without attachments. You go to a relationship to give. Just make sure that you go to a giver, because when you give to a giver, the giver will give back. And when you give to a taker, the taker just fucking sucks.
I spoil her with affection in the right way. Yet… there’s one thing more… As she and I became more serious, and she saw other women’s attraction to me, an interesting development arose. It turns out she’s bisexual and the attention of other women woke up an intense kink to ‘share her alpha’ as she calls it, so she did.
So… you take a 47-year old divorcee who couldn’t get a date, now engaged to a gorgeous woman 20 years younger than him, and dating her smoking hot friend. And our girlfriend is by no means the first we’ve had. As I write this up, I’m laughing a bit to myself, because I’m sure people might think this is a complete lie, but they have no clue how badly women are DYING for true alphas.
Also, what do I care if they believe me or not? Tonight, I’m going out with two smoking hot women.
Exactly dude. When you start living this way, you’re going to get tons of people who start talking shit. All you have to do is go to any of my social media accounts and there are just layers and layers of nasty, horrible comments — the most horrible things you can imagine people writing about you. But it goes with the territory. At the end of the day, people project what’s inside of them anyway, so I don’t let it get under my skin.
If the haters are sitting at home alone, I know a good audio book they should be listening to.
Obviously, “How To Be A 3% Man.”
In the end it boils down to this: I get it now, and in no small part to your efforts, so thanks! Keep up the good work my friend.
Well, thanks for being awesome Bob, and congratulations on all of your success you’ve gotten to experience.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“A true alpha’s state of mind is one of indifference, charm, humor, humility, courage and a belief that eventually, things will work out in their favor. Alphas set, keep and hold other people accountable to their boundaries. They stand up for what they believe in and don’t compromise their principles or values for anyone. They have an emotionally compelling vision of what kind of life and lifestyle they want to create and then resolve to pay the price, no matter how long it takes to make it a reality. Alphas take action while betas are all talk and no action.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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