If you act like a catch, women will treat you like you are a catch and work to keep you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who is in the process of successfully re-attracting his wife who had been slipping away and was even contemplating divorcing him. They tried marriage counseling, but he says he felt even worse after every session. Then he started following my work and implementing it into his life.
Now, his wife’s attraction is growing and she is once again interested in sex, intimacy and pursuing him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
I can’t count the number of dudes who have told me they’ve gone to marriage and couples counseling and it’s worse. Or they have a female therapist and she starts ganging up on him with the wife, and the guy feels attacked. And so, the bottom line is there’s a lot of incompetent people out there that just don’t know what they’re doing, unfortunately.
The good ones, I coach personally. I coach some of the best ones, actually. Because you have to understand how attraction works, and this is just something that’s just not part of their realm. They don’t teach these things. They’re more helpful for communication and resolving specific issues, but teaching a man to be attractive to his wife, that’s just not something that’s taught, or that they even study, or that they even know.
Things are going really well with his wife now, because he obviously started implementing what he read in How To Be A 3% Man, and things have completely turned around. Even though he did a bunch of marriage and couples therapy, counseling didn’t help. He started acting like a man, and just like a light switch, re-attracted the wife right away.
I’ve been married for 11 years, and for the last few, my marriage has been less than stellar. I have two boys that are 8 and 5. Since having kids, my role as a husband has switched from the lover role to the provider role without me even knowing.
That’s eleven years, and that doesn’t even include the time that they were dating before they got married. This is not something that happens overnight or even in a few months, or oftentimes even in a few years. This is the kind of thing that happens to guys slowly. They get soft over time, and they just stop being the guy that they were, that she fell in love with.
A little bit of nagging here, a little bit of nagging there, over the course of many years, eventually, the guy just gets to the place where he’s like, “I just don’t want to piss her off. I’ll just do what she wants so she gets off my case, because I don’t want to have problems with access to the box or anything.”
So many guys are in that that position, lots of dudes that I know, unfortunately. And it’s like, you can’t reach them. They’re overweight, they continue to get bigger and bigger as the years roll by, and their wives don’t want to have sex with them anymore. It’s like, duh. How about going to the gym, bro? They don’t want to do it. But serve them with divorce papers and they’re like, “Hey, what do I do?”
Over the past few years, trying to get my wife to be intimate has been like pulling teeth.
Well, an attractive man displaying attractive qualities, like the ones I talk about in “How To Be A 3% Man,” will cause her to want to seduce you.
I was lucky to receive pity sex once a month.
Wow! Mercy fucks, ouch.
This made me very resentful of her, which turned into many arguments. My attractive alpha qualities turned into beta qualities which even made me more unattractive in her eyes. It didn’t matter how many chores I did around the house or how many nice things I would do for her, she was still not interested in being intimate. (I put her on a pedestal.)
Yeah, this is the part where the clowns in the toxic red pill community, they’ve got no answers, they don’t understand this stuff. They just say, “The woman’s supposed to have sex with the man!” How’s that supposed to happen? Do you just snap your fingers? It doesn’t work that way.
My resentment caused me to be angry, which in turn came out in front of my wife and even with my boys.
So, you were very perturbable. It’s just not a good thing. If you lose your shit in front of your girl and you’re getting angry and upset all the time, it’s just totally unattractive and they don’t like it. Love is playful and fun. It’s not serious.
Take some time to rage, put your pillow over your face and scream into it and express your frustration when nobody’s around. It’s just not helpful if you want your girl to be attracted. You can have rough days, but if you go through a long spell of being in the dumps, eventually she’s going to leave you. That’s the harsh reality. Because you’re supposed to be the leader, and if you willingly stop leading, eventually some other guy is going to come and lead your girl right out of your life and into his.
I agreed to do couples therapy where I ended up leaving each season feeling worse about our relationship. She also started to bring up getting divorced.
That’s not fun.
Two weeks later, I caught her texting an old boyfriend.
So, that was probably 12, 15, 16 years ago, however long it was. Doesn’t feel good.
When confronted and after checking phone records, I found out she had spent a total of 39 hours talking to him on the phone over a one-month period.
Yeah, so she’s created a Frankenstein husband project. So, she’s got you as the beta male provider, with the true intimacy she’s getting from the ex-boyfriend who’s trying to slide back in there.
I was furious and crushed at the same time. It took everything I had to not “send her to the streets.”
That’s how it starts, it happens slowly. This is an eleven year marriage.
It wasn’t until I started listening to your book, 3% Man, that I began making changes that would yield all the results I was looking for.
I have seen the Promised Land, and the Promised Land is the 3% Man! Attention, any marriage and couples therapists that are watching this video, you need to learn this and teach it to your clients. You’ll be way more effective, way more successful, and you’ll be able to bill a lot more per hour, because you’ll actually be good at it.
I started putting myself first.
You can’t give away what you don’t have for yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how are you going to allow anybody to love you?
I started working out, (lost 30 lbs.).
That is awesome, dude. Good job.
And began doing a lot of things I used to do before kids, (hockey, hunting, fishing).
You know, guy stuff, masculine stuff. The stuff that all the jerkoffs on TV and the media tell us that we shouldn’t do. “That’s toxic masculinity! You can’t do those things. It’s got to be all equal, 50/50.” If your relationship is 50/50, you’re platonic friends and there ain’t no sex, or it’s mercy fucks. You don’t want a mercy fuck. Who wants a mercy fuck from their wife? It’s the mother of your children, after all.
I began dressing better and became much more confident about myself. I kept reminding myself I was doing it for me and not to win her love back.
I also refused to argue with her anymore, because you can’t argue with women.
Ding, ding! Men who understand women never argue with them. Spirited debates are fine, but arguing, trying to win the argument, even if you win, you lose. She’ll just cut off access to the box, because she doesn’t feel heard and understood. When a woman feels heard and understood the legs open, and when she doesn’t, the legs close.
I stopped putting her on a pedestal, pulled away from her, and went back to my alpha traits.
So, he became a catch again. He became the kind of man that, not only his wife, but all women, would naturally be attracted to because it’s so rare in our society these days.
All these things caught her attention, and I began seeing an improvement in our relationship. Not only did these things catch my wife’s attention, but also the woman I work with noticed.
I’m shocked. I’m shocked, I tell you. Act like an attractive man, become an attractive man, he lost 30 pounds, other women notice. Imagine that. A little bit of competition anxiety is healthy, and it’s good for the swagger.
The biggest change that brought all the intimacy back was when my wife saw a text message from a woman I work with that is 10 years younger and super-hot flirting with me.
That’ll be her replacement. “Sure, you want to go back to the old boyfriend from 15 years ago? You go, babe. I’m going to replace you with somebody ten years younger and way hotter.” That solves a lot of problems. Scarcity creates value and there’s only one of you. But there’s lots of hot ladies out there that are dying to meet a great guy.
At that moment, she realized what she really had in me.
Scarcity creates value.
She is finally starting to chase me once again, not the other way around.
As it should be. Women like you way more if they have to do all the chasing, calling and pursuing, if the man is the catch. In the old movies, that’s what was always going on. The beautiful women we’re always trying to land the hottest guys. And the hottest guys were like, “I don’t want anything to do with marriage and kids and family oriented stuff. I’m going to see the world. I’m doing my thing. I’m going to build my empire.” And eventually they get worn down by the hot Donna Reids of the world. You just can’t say no.
Thanks for helping me to get my marriage back!
Good job, dude. And that’s going to be great for your kids as well, because now your kids get to see mom and dad happy and in love. I love getting emails like this, because it’s one more family who stays together – where the man acts like a man is supposed to act. And because he acts like a man, the kids get in line, but most importantly, the wife gets in line. And she’ll start purring like a kitten the way it’s supposed to be, the way God the creator of the universe intended.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Normal, healthy women who have a good self-esteem will do most of the pursuing in their relationships, because they are so highly attracted to the men in their lives. Healthy women tend to choose healthy, balanced men. Men who are in their masculine attract feminine women like moths to a light bulb. Men who vacillate back and forth between being passive and feminine, and certain and masculine, cause women to become indifferent, wishy-washy, hot and cold and unattracted.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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