Here’s why contacting a woman excessively when she does not quickly return your phone calls, texts, emails, messages, etc. causes her to reject you and treat you like a stalker. The calling card and hallmark of a needy guy, future abusive boyfriend or stalker is, an inability to wait for a woman to return their phone calls, texts, e-mails, messages, etc. when they have not heard from her in the time frame they expect. They fear they will get rejected just like all the women before rejected them, so they constantly do and say things that reveal they are seeking a woman’s approval by trying to make or force things to happen by contacting her excessively. Many beautiful women over the years have revealed to me in confidence that they purposely don’t return a guys messages quickly when they first start dating him. Why? Because they want to see how he reacts. If he blows her phone up with phone calls, e-mails, texts, etc. she will ignore him and never call him back because he has convinced her he does not understand women, or how attraction works. Women can spot a man a mile away who doesn’t get it by using simple subtle tests. The following is an e-mail from a reader who just got rejected by a woman who has been lying to him since the moment they met online. He started blowing her phone up when he became fearful of rejection, and now she has threatened him with legal action if he does not leave her alone. He’s devastated and does not know what to do next. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Big fan of yours!!! Loving your videos all the way. I met this amazing woman online and we met in real life. We started a relationship. I’m divorced and she’s divorced with one son. After months of our relationship she confessed she was still married to her husband, although I suspected it due to inconsistent stories. (MAJOR RED FLAG DUDE!!! She started the relationship off with a BIG lie, and it’s obvious she lied to you on more than one occasion about it. The question is, what else did she lie to you about that you are unaware of? “The worst part about being lied to is knowing you weren’t worth the truth.” ~ Unknown.) I believed her when she said they had nothing between them, even more, she told him about us. I come from a happy background and her from a troublesome family. (Another RED FLAG. It does not sound like she has learned the value and importance of honesty, mature/healthy communication skills and integrity in a relationship. She sounds like she’s still really messed up.) She was raped at age 15 and recently started to remember past things like being molested at age 5 by her own uncle. This and more things shaped a troubled mind with abandonment issues, low self esteem and she decided to live in her own hell. (It’s not your job to fix or try to rescue her from herself.) Yet this is the most amazing and loving woman I ever met in my whole life. (Put the crack pipe down.) Sounds corny but my true love. (You’re acting dopey about her which is never a good idea. It lowers a woman’s level of romantic interest in you. Plus, this tells me you are projecting your high interest level onto her and ignoring hers in you. Read the interest level table in my book that starts on page 120 to determine a woman’s real interest level in you based upon her actions. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) She is going to therapy and has started to recover her own value, sharing with me more and willing to have a future together. She told me she was not happy in her marriage, but that I brought her stability and happiness. I felt it. Last week she thought I ended the relationship and got upset, lost. She sent me hate emails, and I didn’t reply to let her cool off. After 2 days I contacted her to find her distant, aggressive and not wanting to know more about me. I panic thinking she might hurt herself, maybe my own paranoia, and kept calling her although she didn’t pick up or reply to my emails. (I think you are bullshitting yourself about what really happened. You became fearful she was ending the relationship and started acting like a stalker. Confident alpha males NEVER LOSE THEIR COOL. You should have left one charming and sweet message or text, teasing her about being so silly as to think you did not want to be with her, and waited for her to call back. Love is playful and fun, not serious. Instead you totally lost your center and came unglued revealing to her that you are a needy jackass. This scares women and makes them run from you like the plague.) Today I was threaten with legal action if I don’t stop. I did stop but not for fear to legalities but rather to respect her decision, but the pain is unbearable. I am not even sure if she got back with her husband, I am left in the wild wondering about everything. Does she love me? Why all this sudden change? I know she was the happiest with me. (Really? How do you know if her actions show that she wants nothing to do with you. She may have really wanted you then, but she does not appear to want you now.) I know she really loves me but I’m soo confused now about what to do next. (Nothing, she told you to leave her alone. Contact her if you want to end up in jail.) I feel I lost my best friend, my home. (Please, a man’s home is his castle. Men do not talk this way. You’re acting like a woman. It’s not very attractive to women either!) She told me with me she could be herself, happy and that I make her feel “different” and react crazy. I know it’s difficult to let go your family and start a new life, but she genuinely sounded convinced that is what she wanted. (She meant it only in the moment when she said it, because it was a true reflection of her feelings at that time. That was then, this is now. She wants to be left alone.) I fear I acted way too needy, or as a stalker and that I will never hear from her again. I stopped all contact to give her space, but again, I fear she won’t be back. (That is why you MUST NEVER CONTACT HER AGAIN!!! 1) She threatened you with legal action. 2) She told you to leave her alone. 3) Stop ignoring reality. You must always let women come to you at their own pace. When you chase a cat, the cat runs away; so do women. All you can do now is walk away and start trying to meet and date as many new women as you can so you can improve your skills. Then you’ll start to attract NORMAL and healthy women who are actually single, available and not pathological liars. If this girl wants to rekindle anything, she will contact you. You must let go of your failures so you can improve your skills and be more prepared for the next girl.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
If you act like a stalker or a control freak, women will drop you faster than a bad habit!