Why you should act like an alpha and a leader, and how the body language of being happy, successful and confident creates attraction and helps you win in your personal and professional life.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who recently found my work and has read my book over fifteen times in the past three weeks. He says he never thought to display the same attitude of confidence and decisiveness he naturally displays in the courtroom as a successful criminal trial attorney in his personal life. He shares the effect of simply focusing on his body language, physiology and the vibe he gave off, and was shocked at how women instantly responded to him in such a positive way, that they actually started approaching him in public, trying to get his attention.
It’s a great success story of how some simple changes to your attitude, body language and physiology can cause members of the opposite sex to notice you, feel sexual attraction towards you and seek your attention and approval, whereas before you may have often felt like you were invisible and undesirable to others. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I have read/listened to your book more than 15 times over the past three weeks, have begun to put it into practice and it has been an epiphany.
I am a 44-year old criminal trial attorney and have always been a failure with women for all the reasons you outline in your book and videos. Your exposition of how to act like an alpha, a leader, struck a chord with me. They are the very same behaviors and attitudes that I have used to great success in my work for nearly 20 years, but for some reason I got it into my head that it was somehow dishonest or phony to have that attitude in my personal life.
(In other words, you didn’t feel comfortable being who you really were. You were worried about the opinion and the labels of other people. In one of my favorite Aristotle quotes he says, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” The reality is, the more successful you become, the more people tend to perceive you as being at the top of the mountain, the more they’re going to take shots at you, just because it’s a reflection of what’s going on inside of them.
Remember, as I talked about in my first book, no one will ever do or say anything to you that is not a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. And another one, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. That’s definitely something to thing about.
When people talk shit and hate on you, they’re not telling you your story. They’re telling you their story. As Wayne Dyer said, “Other people’s opinions of you is none of your business.” People project their self-hate, their self-loathing, onto other people in order to disassociate from it and absolve themselves from any personal responsibility of their own life or success.)
This afternoon, I conducted an experiment. Exhibiting the very same carriage, body language, demeanor, and mannerisms that I use in court and in negotiations, I went and walked around a department store. In less than 5 minutes, an attractive store employee in her early 50’s made eye contact with me. I maintained the eye contact, and she came over asking me if I needed anything. Whatever. I spent about 5 minutes chatting with her, thanked her for her help and moved along. Just a helpful employee, right?
I didn’t get 15 feet before another very attractive woman, this time a customer, made eye contact with me. Again, I maintained the eye contact and she moved towards me.
(An interesting thing to look at is, you have another woman who is observing your interaction with the employee of the store. You walk away smiling, and she walks away smiling. The takeaway from that is, it gives you social proof that you’re safe, and you talking to women is just like talking to any person on the street. That makes her feel safe and comfortable to approach you because she doesn’t encounter that very often. Women recognize the alpha and the leader.)
We exchanged pleasantries and began some small talk when the first woman came back to tell me about something that was obviously just a pretext to come over and talk to me.
(Now she’s seeking your attention and your approval, and now you’ve got two women wanting to talk to you. Something I picked up from Doc Love years ago, he said “When kitty cats compete, you win.” The reality is, when women perceive you as being successful with other women, they find you more attractive.
Like in your professional career, when you have lots of choices and options, everybody wants to hire you. It’s all an abundance mentality, and it’s all in how you carry yourself, the tone of your voice, how you walk around, your body language and your physiology. People who are happy, successful and proud, they’re at ease, relaxed. They’re not worried about the future. They bring a calming presence to wherever they are.)
Now I’m standing there, saying remarkably little, while these two women seemed to be competing for my attention. They are not talking to each other, each of them is talking to me. This went on for about 5 minutes. I could not believe how easy this was.
I didn’t get any phone numbers, because that wasn’t the purpose of this exercise, but you can bet your ass that I will next time.
(It’s a simple success story, but it’s like a fucking switch. You can just change your body language, your physiology and your demeanor from one second to the next. You may think, what can he teach me? But just go read the book.)
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“The body language of success is an essential and necessary prerequisite to creating sexual attraction. Confident, successful and happy people tend to smile, make eye contact, give off a friendly vibe and are noticed and respected by all other human beings. Simply making sure your head is back over your shoulders, your shoulders are rolled back, arms are down at your side and your chest is out, displays that you are proud, content, relaxed, confident and sure of yourself. Displaying the superior body language of success makes you stand out, naturally invites the respect of others, influences them to show deference, become your ally and to follow your leadership.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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