Why you should always act like her lover would act in person or online instead of a friend to create attraction. A big mistake I used to make when I was trying to attract women I liked, was I tended to talk too long and try to keep the conversation going thinking that the longer we talked, the more she would like me. What I learned the hard way, was that the more I talked instead of simply getting to the point and making a date, the quicker they blew me off for good.
In TV and movies it shows today’s feminized, weak men acting like women who constantly talk about their feelings and the woman’s feelings and that this magically makes their romance work. If you act like that in real life, you’ll have lots of women who love you, but none of them will sleep with you or date you. Women chase men who they have at least 50% romantic attraction for or greater, and who are mysterious and hard to read. If women have to work to figure you out, they will adore you. If after an hour of talking to you women know everything about you and your whole life story, they have nothing to be curious about because you volunteered everything.
Not only that, but if you spend most of the time talking about yourself and your accomplishments, they will simply think you are a selfish and self absorbed man who is not very successful with women. The following is an e-mail from a reader who recently reconnected with the sister of his childhood best friend on Facebook. He spent a couple of months chatting with her on Facebook, but not asking for a date. He talks too long on a conversation and eventually she gets bored and stops responding. He’s backed off some, but he still chases too much and still has not asked for a date to meet up yet. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
How are you? I really enjoy watching your videos, they are fantastic. Great job. I need a bit of advice. I am going through a divorce, no kids, and have been on a few dates since my split. Recently, I started talking to a girl over facebook that I have known for a long time, we kind of actually grew up together. Her brother and I were best friends as kids so she was always the little sister that always hung around.
One day a couple of months ago, I messaged her on facebook to say hello and we had a great conversation. She asked a lot of questions and so did I. She mentioned that she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend. We never officially ended the conversation with goodbye. We just stopped talking. (You mean she left the conversation when you talked too long and she got bored.) Six days later, I messaged her again and once again we had a great conversation and once again no goodbye, she just stopped talking. (She got bored and left the conversation again. You are ignoring the fact she blows you off when she gets bored because you talk too long, but you continue to chase and pursue. Chasing women guarantees rejection.)
A few days later, she posted on facebook that she was single. I guess she broke up. I messaged her 2 days later leaving a message saying if she needed to talk she could talk to me because I am in a similar situation. No response. (Always act like her lover would act! Love is playful and fun, not serious. Women are driven by their emotions. If she is hurting emotionally, the best thing you can do is to be an outrageously fun escape; not tell her you want to be her shrink and have her talk about her problems and negative emotions! If you are always fun and playful, she will interact with you more because there is no drama or awkward moments. Girls just want to have fun!
If she wants to talk about the boyfriend, she will bring it up and you can listen then.) As we are both logged onto facebook all day at work, 3 weeks went by but neither of us attempted a conversation, even though we could see each other online everyday. Finally after 3 weeks, she initiated a conversation with me. (See what happens when you observe her actions and hang back after she has blown you off? Women prefer to chase men!!!)
Once again, it was great talk. She said, “be right back” after a while but never came back. (She was bored because you are boring and predictable and probably are doing what tv and the media has incorrectly taught you to do with women… talk about your feelings and her feelings. You should have said early in the conversation before you talked her out of talking with you, “We should meet up for a drink so we can catch up! What evenings do you have free next week so we can meet up and have some laughs and some fun?” Then make a definite date and you leave the conversation first.
Men are direct and get to the point. You are wasting so much time that this girl is constantly getting bored and blowing you off. The only reason to communicate with women is to set dates, not try to get to know them for months and months over the phone or internet before asking them out. The “date” offer I mention above is not really a date the way I phrased it. It’s two old friends getting together to hang out and have fun. Chemistry happens that way and makes seduction possible.
STOP COMPLICATING THINGS!!!! That is what I mean when I say to create an opportunity for sex to happen. It’s simply meeting up to have some fun. Having fun leads to good vibrations and emotions for her which make her feel comfortable getting frisky and touchy with you so you can seduce her. If you try to force things or always try to be her shrink and talk about each others feelings, she will only see you as a friend or male girlfriend.) So I waited a week and messaged her asking what she was doing for the long weekend. And she responded as usual, and we had an amazing talk, the best one yet.
(The reason she was more into your talking this time around was because you were not chasing her as much and she had to work to re-establish communication, but instead of letting her come to you at her own pace, you tried to force more conversation which led to her getting bored and blowing you off again.) We wished each other a great long weekend and agreed to talk soon. So got back to work on Tuesday, saw her online but didn’t message her. Basically I ignored her. Then on Wednesday morning, I may have made a bad move. I sent her a facebook poke, and she messaged me back saying are we really playing the poking game? (Translation: “You are acting needy and chasing me too much. It’s a turn off, please stop or I will Ignore you for good!”)
We chatted for a bit, good conversation, then she just stopped responding. (I think you over-rate your conversation. Women should be doing 70-80% of the talking by you asking questions about them since they are fascinating to you. The person asking the questions is the one in control of the conversation. Don’t tell women anything about yourself unless they ask first. Why? Women love to be curious about you, but if you tell them everything without them asking first, it’s boring and you come off as just another self-absorbed man who does not understand women.) After that, she seemed to be online and available a lot less.
In fact, I may have seen her only twice online since that day. I waited a week and sent her another message saying I haven’t seen her much lately and I hope she is ok and we will chat soon. (Dude! WTF! You must give women the space and time to feel their feelings for you. Constant chasing turns them off! Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.) No response and it’s been almost 2 weeks. I am not planning on messaging her again. What do you make of this coach?
(Simple, you beat around the bush instead of getting to the point and making a date to meet up for drinks and fun. Then it’s easy to end up at your place later as things progress throughout the evening.) I mean I know she enjoyed our conversations. (No you don’t. You assume she enjoyed them. You obviously enjoyed them more than her. How do I know? She blew you off each time because you never had the guts to end the conversation first. Men who are successful with women do not chit chat for hours online, and never ask for definite dates to meet up.)
She even told me that her boyfriend is an ass because he can’t devote himself to her fully, and that she misses the companionship. (The perfect line/comeback for that situation when she complains about her ex? Here it is: “I can’t help the way he is honey, but I can definitely help you feel right as rain again with some great rebound sex! When are you free? ;)” and let her respond. Set a time to meet up by simply saying, “When are you free next week to meet up for some drinks and fun?”). Have I done anything wrong here? (Yep. You chase and beat around the bush instead of getting to the point and setting up a time to get together for some fun. You act like her male girlfriend instead of her exciting mysterious lover she has to work to catch.
Women will chase you when they have interest! Women who have low interest/attraction will not. Wait to hear from her. When and if she contacts you again, chat for a few minutes and then invite her to meet for a drink like I mentioned above. You should also read my book ASAP. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) Your advice is much appreciated.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” ~ Chinese Proverbs