After First Date Problems

Sep 26, 2016 by Coach Corey Wayne
Spiderstock / iStock.com
Photo by iStock.com/Spiderstock

How to solve any after first date problems you are having to get subsequent dates when your first date went well with kissing and affection, but you still can’t get a second date, things just fizzle out or the women go completely cold and ignore you.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who is twenty-one and is having problems getting second dates after kissing and affection on his first dates. He asks my opinion on what he is doing wrong to cause women to not want a second date when things started off so good. The second email is from a guy who was chasing a woman for three years and getting nowhere. After he found my work and started applying it, he has recently seduced her and wants my opinion on how to keep successfully escalating things going forward.

The third email is from a guy who says he gets 3-4 dates before things just fizzle out and they go cold. One of the women he went out with, but who gave him the cheek on both of their dates, just contacted him after two months of not hearing from her. She asked what happened to him. He was surprised, because he thought she was not interested. He asks my opinion on how he can tweak his game to improve his dating results. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.

First Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

I love your work and what you do to help others, and I can’t thank you enough. I have a few problems that are coming up after the first date with women. I am 21 years old and in great shape. I lift 6-7 days a week. Most of the time, while I’m at the gym I put my earbuds in and listen to your videos on YouTube. Some I have listened to plenty of times to get it programmed in my head.

vgajic / iStock.com
vgajic / iStock.com

On the first date with girls I am taking out, I like to go somewhere that involves each other doing something involved, like mini golfing, fishing, a place I know they’ll catch a few, bowling, etc., and then get some ice cream when we are done, because like you always say, take them to 2-3 places so it feels like they’ve been on a few dates with you already. (What is the purpose of a date? To create a fun-filled opportunity for sex to happen. Fishing is not really conducive to seduction. I wouldn’t recommend going outdoors and getting all sweaty on a date. There should be drinks and dinner afterwards, and you have to think about “The Logistics Of Sex.” What happens when things go really well? You can invite them to go do something else or get a drink. If a woman’s really affectionate and touchy-feely, the idea is to keep escalating it, because the whole purpose of seduction is to get closer to a woman until you end up inside of her. If things are going really well and she’s all over you, you don’t just end the date. That’s counter productive. When a woman treats you the way you want to be treated, you reward her with more of your time. When she’s cold, distant and unaffectionate, you give her the gift of missing you. I can tell by your email you’re cutting dates short that you shouldn’t be. Go have some drinks with her. The idea is, you want to facilitate the two of you eventually getting alone together, so you have to think about the logistics of sex. If you apply the things in my book, you’re going to get laid on the first date.) During these dates, there is always great conversation, and I always let them do 70-80 percent of the talking, while I am either asking questions or saying something to make them laugh. I’m always smiling and just going with the flow and very comfortable and confident in my own skin THANKS TO YOU. These girls get closer to me as the dates go by, and eventually, when I know they are comfortable enough, I will reach out my hand in the car and they will quickly grab it. They are always talking a lot, showing a lot of interest and at the end, I always go for the kiss and we always end up making out yet again thanks to your book and videos. (The kiss doesn’t have to come at the end of the date. If a woman is touchy-feely and she’s very close to you and affectionate, you don’t need to wait. You should look for the subtle cues and the body language that’s in the book, she’s playing with her hair, she’s touching your arm, she’s sitting next to you and her knee is touching yours, you look at her lips and she looks at your lips — that means she’s ready to be kissed. You don’t have to wait. It’s a case by case basis. The key is to know what to look for, and to act accordingly. I can tell you haven’t read the book 10-15 times. That’s part of the problem. Watching the videos is not a substitution for reading the book.) I’m also the one who’s always ending the date and who stops kissing first so she will leave wanting more. (Wrong way to go about it dude.)

Ridofranz / iStock.com
Ridofranz / iStock.com

After the dates, if they don’t text me first, I usually wait around 4 days to text them, and they usually immediately respond, probably because they’ve been wondering about me, and then I simply ask when the next time they are free is, and then they usually say when they are free. I try and immediately set a date, but they won’t set them or won’t text back at all. (The idea is, if you haven’t heard back from them, say, “I had a really great time the other night, and I’d really love to see you again. When are you free to get together?” You’re being a little too robotic, and using a little too much technique here, trying to be cool, acting like you don’t care and you’re not interested, and I can tell the women are picking up on that. They sense something is off, because you aren’t being completely authentic with them. The thing is, you want to be in the moment, go with the flow and escalate things as they show you the signs they’re ready. Two steps forward, one step back.) Do you see something I’m doing wrong from what I have told you, or are they just playing the waiting game and seeing if I give in, which I won’t thanks to your work! (If you just tweak things like I said, you’re results will be night and day better.)Thank you

Bob

Second Viewer’s Email:

Hi Corey,

I’ve been chasing a girl for over 3 years. Long story in short, she always slipped away and ended up with another guy, and I just did not understand why. She always said she loves me as a friend, we had sex a couple of times, but at the end of the day, I always got the let’s just be friends speech. She is single now, and I managed to set up few dates again. We made dinner together, I gave her a massage, etc., but for the past 2 months, she did not allow sex or even a kiss. (If you go to kiss a woman and she gives you the cheek, I wouldn’t call a woman like that again. As you get better, you won’t be going out with women that give you the cheek. You will only be going out with women that really like you from the get-go.)

efenzi / iStock.com
efenzi / iStock.com

Then I came across your work, and now I see all the mistakes I made, which turned her off. So I took your advice, stepped out of my needy personality, and started to date another girl. It was kind of tactics to make selfies together, so I could upload it to Instagram, and she could see I am happily dating someone else. (There’s nothing wrong with having a great social life. If you’re very active on social media and posting lots of pictures of yourself, and she sees you having all of these great, fun adventures, it gives you social status and makes them find you more attractive.) After a week, she contacted me with some bullshit reason, she wanted to sell a pair of shoes to me, and I knew what I had to do. We met, and she instantly started asking about my new date and if I had sex with her. (When you started focusing on other women and posting pictures of your adventures, and all of a sudden she wanted to give you a second look.) I said yes of course, but really I didn’t, and I said I also date 2 other women. She said she is also started dating with someone. I was very cool about it. (If you have abundance in your personal life, and you don’t get butt hurt if they’re dating somebody else, it’s like you have a take it or leave it attitude. If you have multiple offers, you’re going to take the best offer for you.)

A week later, she messaged me again, so I set up a date again at my place. We made dinner together, and her attitude was totally different. She wanted to play a game and said, let’s act like we are a just married couple, and let’s call each other “darling, honey, etc.” I accepted to play this game. (Notice the attitude. It’s a complete night and day difference.) During the evening, she kind of played the role of good wife, she demonstrated her cooking talent, etc. She asked how the dinner tasted. I tasted it and said, “it’s so good you deserve this,” and I grabbed her and kissed her. (Perfect.) She showed no resistance. Then after eating, I playfully made a ring out of copper wire and put it on her finger. She laughed, and kissed me again. We then watched a film and had sex. Then we had sex the next morning again, and then she went home.

g-stockstudio / iStock.com
g-stockstudio / iStock.com

This is where I stand now. My big question is, should I contact her the next week to set up another date, (Why? If she’s comfortable reaching out to you, I wouldn’t do anything in that case. Let her do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing. Then when you hear from her, make the next date. This way, it’s her idea), or should I wait and let her to do 100% of it. (Because you are re-attracting somebody that you already pushed away and got friend-zoned by, if you start pursuing her, she’ll start to become unavailable, because it’s not her idea.) What should I say if she asks about my dates again? (Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. Change the subject.) Should I say I am still dating other girls? (Answer a question with a question and say, “Why do you ask?” Never answer the question that was asked of you. Answer the question you wish was asked of you. Play with it, and have fun with it. Don’t be so serious.)

Bob

Third Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

I’ve been following you for less than a year. I want to thank you for the tremendous amount that you’ve helped me out so far! I’ve read your book 6 times so far and referenced specific chapters several times when unsure. For the first time ever, I’ve had PLENTY of choice with women. However, there must be something I still don’t understand. I am getting several dates, at least 3-4 with beautiful women, but then it just fizzles away. Being a new man with the utmost self respect, I let the women walk if I can feel them pulling away. Most of the time, they come back, which I think is so funny and awesome, because intuition tells me to reach out rather than wait. (That’s because you became emotionally conditioned to do that your whole life. It’s hard to undo this programming, especially when you’ve had it beat into your head since you were a little boy, that men have to pursue and act like stalkers, and that’s the only way to get a girlfriend or a wife.)

Zinkevych / iStock.com
Zinkevych / iStock.com

The most beautiful of my lovers is a girl who rejected my kiss on the first date. I played it off as no big deal. (Part of the problem is, you went to kiss this girl and she gave you the cheek. That’s either somebody that’s not interested or they’re structured. In other words, they’re being a robot. If a woman’s got rules, don’t mess with it. If a woman treats you the way you want to be treated, they get the gift of more of your time. When they give you the cheek, that’s it. You’re done. You’re out.) On the second date, I went in for the kiss again, but got a half ass kiss in return. (Part of the problem is, you’re going out with a girl that gave you the cheek, so this tells me she’s a little structured and maybe a little shy. And that’s why if you never had called her after the first date, you probably would have been a lot further along.) I figured the attraction wasn’t there on her side, so I never contacted her again. (That’s the right thing to do, however it should have happened after the first date.) Long story short, she contacted me 2 months later asking why I disappeared. (Scarcity created value.) I made it clear I wasn’t interested in friendship. She has been pursuing me ever since over text and has invited me to visit her. She now lives 1.5 hours out of town. (I would not be driving an hour and half to visit a woman that’s going to give you the cheek. Because this woman screwed up and didn’t value and appreciate your time, you should invite her to your place to make dinner together. You’ve already been out with her twice, therefore, she’s a low priority. You’ll give her another chance, but you’re not going to drive an hour and a half away for another peck on the cheek. Don’t be a chump. If somebody appreciates you and values your time, they get more of it.) How do I not mess this up, seeing as how other women in my recent past have come and gone, and come and gone AGAIN? (I look at these mistakes here, and it tells me you don’t know the fundamentals and you’re not applying the things in the book. You’re doing the opposite. You’re still chasing and going out on dates you shouldn’t be going out on. The idea is to be going out with somebody who really is excited to be there. That’s not somebody who is in an abundance mentality. That’s somebody who is desperate and who feels like women are scarce and you’ll never get a chance. But if she reaches out, invite her to your place. Tell her, if she wants to see you, she needs to show you she likes and appreciates you. You’ve got to be willing to say no. Don’t be desperate and running after somebody like this. With women who really like you and really value you, it will be easy and effortless, it will be fun, and it will end up with an opportunity for sex to happen. Most women will sleep with a guy by the second or third date if you apply what I teach in the book. It will flow easily.)Regards,

Bob

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“The greatest gift you can give anyone is the gift of your time. Only give it to people who are enthusiastic and appreciative about spending time with you. When it comes to dating, when a woman treats you well, is affectionate and open, you reward her with more of your time. If a woman is cold, distant, unaffectionate or not much fun, then you give her the gift of missing you. Sometimes, women who are cold initially, will warm up to you over 2-3 dates. The more a woman is initially attracted to you and ready for more in the beginning, the more she will invite you in to share her secret worlds. The less she is attracted to you, the more you will have to work at carrying conversations, keeping the energy level high, and the more dates you must go on with her in order to raise her attraction slowly over time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on September 26, 2016

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