Why all of your life is a negotiation with other people and how you can start negotiating from a position of strength, so you can influence other people to willingly and enthusiastically give you what you want.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who found out about my work a few months ago. He has not received my book yet after ordering it, but he’s already seeing results with what he has learned by watching my videos. Initially he was skeptical, and he judged me to be hypocritical and contradicting. He says he realized it was only his own insecurities getting the best of him once his comfort zone was exceeded. Recently, a woman who had blown him off a few months ago, the one who caused him to seek out and find my work, got back in contact with him. He set a date using what he learned about negotiating a definite date from my website articles and YouTube videos. The day before their date, she canceled without any offer of rescheduling. He handled himself properly and walked away again. A few days later she reached out to him, and now they have a definite date set on his terms, all because he did an outstanding job of negotiating from a position of strength for himself. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
I hope everything is wonderful. I cannot thank you enough for the life changing experiences you’ve injected into my life. I am still currently in the process of comprehending your work to its full potential. It was not too long ago that I thought of myself as this cursed little boy who thought his gift was a drop of sinful being. Little did I know, I was absolutely wrong. I will be receiving your book in a few days from now, and I’m really looking forward to reading it 20+ times. (Good job. You’ve got the right attitude about reading it.)
I wanted to share with you my experience and thank you for building this monument into my life. In the past, I was getting to know this beautiful young girl whom I consistently chased in hopes she would recognize the sweet and adorable little bitch I was. Several months passed, and I encountered your YouTube videos, hoping to change my life around. At first I acknowledged your work as being extremely hypocritical and contradicting; but as I now figure, it was only my insecurities taking the pace. (Even if you think I’m full of shit, if you just apply the things I teach, you will see that they’ll work for you.) Recently, the girl that cut the rope made contact with me, asking how I was. I told her I was doing great and ended the conversation after a while, claiming I had things to attend to. Before I left, she’d claimed she’d like to see me some time, and I replied telling her to drive over to my city on the weekend so we could hang out. (It sounds like she’s a bit of a distance away, and more than likely in the past you dropped everything and drove to her city to do what she wanted. As you’ll see in my article and video, “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” she needs to earn another chance with you.) I live with my mother, and our home is never empty, so I figured we could just go for a small walk at the park and take the Olympics outdoors. She then called a day before claiming she would be a no show without any intention of re-scheduling. I told her that it was absolutely okay, and if she ever found herself in my city to give me a call, that I would love to see her, and I ended the conversation. (You’re letting it go. You’re not attached to it.) The next day, she proceeded to contact me claiming she was free, (Isn’t that amazing? Twenty-four hours later and there was a complete attitude adjustment on her part), and she could hang out; but since I’m a complete and total badass with things to take care of, I told her I was busy and had already changed my plans. She then considered rescheduling. (Notice how her attitude completely changed. If you have acted really weak in the past, this is just her testing.) I told her absolutely, and if she was free next week then should could come over, and we could go for a walk; without any hesitation or time between the text she replied “okay, I’ll be there for sure,” and we ended the conversation at that. (Always look at a person’s actions. Notice how she’s replying really quickly. She’s eager and enthusiastically accepting your terms and values your time, because she realized you weren’t going to wait on her.)
I am now looking forward to our date this weekend, and other great opportunities that keep rising up. Your work has truly changed my life, but I know I’m still nowhere close to where I want to be; only closer than I was yesterday. (It’s like Derek Rose said, “Your job is to try to get better every day.”) I still haven’t read your book, which should be coming in soon. I look forward to the knowledge and comprehension of your work. I’m really thankful to you and this gift to comprehend things rapidly and naturally. One can never understand enough or too much, we can only keep growing and improving. I hope you have a wonderful day Corey, and may your work shift other lives around the way it has impacted mine. (I appreciate the compliment. I’m glad you went from a skeptic to realizing I know what I’m talking about. Just imagine how much better your life will be when you apply even more of the things that I teach.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“All of life is a negotiation. In every human interaction, you are either talking them into doing what you want, or they are talking you into doing what they want. You don’t get what you deserve in life, only what you negotiate. The strongest negotiating position is always being able to walk away for good and mean it. If you don’t believe you deserve what you want, don’t speak up for yourself and state what you want, and are not willing to walk away and mean it if you don’t get what you want, then you are all too often going to feel and be shortchanged, left out, fleeced and disappointed.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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