Am I Holding Myself Back Or Do I Need To Be More Patient?

How to know if you’re sabotaging your success or if you’re simply impatient.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email update from a 26 year old viewer who bartends, plays in a band and is living the rock star lifestyle most guys dream of. However, he got out of a toxic relationship 2 years ago and says he self sabotages his opportunities with women he really likes while he beds countless beautiful women he’s not that into. He wonders if maybe he’s simply being impatient about meeting a great woman to have a relationship with. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Am I Holding Myself Back Or Do I Need To Be More Patient?”.

Well, if you have to ask, it’s probably both. So this particular email is an update from a 26 year old viewer. I’ve done several Video Newsletters off his emails. So he’s a bartender, I guess works at a venue where they have live music. So he plays in a band that also plays there. And so he’s only 26 years old. He’s living the rock star lifestyle, and he’s just constantly rolling in there with a different girl every time. He got out of a toxic relationship two years ago, had a really nasty breakup, went through a bunch of therapy for it.

It involved cheating, gaslighting, verbal and emotional abuse. So you can understand he’s going to be a little gun shy. And so what he seems like he’s starting to notice is that when he meets somebody he really likes and lights him up on the inside, which we all know that doesn’t happen very often. There’s lots of beautiful women in society, but very few of them you’re going to meet and click with and feel like you were meant to meet them. The same kind of feelings you feel when you meet somebody that becomes a really close friend.

You just instantly know you like hanging out with them and they like hanging out with you and it just clicks. So how often does that come along? How often do you meet a new best friend? It’s something that very rarely ever happens. And so he notices that when he meets somebody that makes him feel that way, he either like in this case he talks about what he saw, but she kind of looked a little bit like his ex. He got a little triggered and then just dipped and went away. And so he dates a lot of really beautiful women, takes him home.

But he’s just not that into any of them. And he’s starting to feel like as he says, he’s hitting a wall. I mean, he’s 26 years old. So he definitely needs to be patient. One thing we’ve got to understand, and if he hasn’t already, you definitely need to read Mastering Yourself dude, because that’ll give you some perspective on life and how things evolve and change and grow over the decades. Because great things take time. And when you think in terms of accomplishing really big goals, really big dreams, you’ve got to think in terms of a decade or more.

You can’t think in terms of months or years, because we typically way overestimate what we can do in a year, and we severely underestimate what we can accomplish in a decade. And so that’s why when you’re embarking on a journey, especially when it revolves around your purpose and your mission in life, it has to be something that you’re really excited about. You really enjoy, and it lights you up on the inside. Because when you’re really excited about what you’re doing and you enjoy your work, you work harder at it than something you’re just doing for a paycheck.

So let’s go through his email and see what’s going on. Because when I read this guy’s email, he’s living the life. I mean, a lot of you guys are going to read this and be like, what’s the problem, bro? You’re 26. You’re bedding one woman after another. You’re a rock and roll dude. You’re on stage. It’s a very powerful aphrodisiac for women. You’re a leader of a band. They’re going to be attracted to you. Plus, being a bartender, that’s a position of authority. And if you’re just applying what’s in the book, especially like this guy and his lifestyle, he’s in a target rich environment.

He’s literally swimming in a fish tank of women that are everywhere. And he’s a little bummed of that. His life isn’t all perfect and finished at 26 years old. It’s like when I was 26, I was getting married, and deep down I knew I shouldn’t have been getting married. And then you guys that have read the book, you know, it wasn’t a pleasant experience, even though we were only married for a year trying to get out of it. Because we were married for a year, it was pretty easy to get into a marriage, but getting out of it took several years because we had a house, we had to split up, we had our investment properties, we had credit card debt and things like that I paid off.

And so it took a very short period of time to get married, but it took several years to get un-married. And so by the time I finally got divorced, it was like late ’97, ’98, I think it was. It was about two years. I think it was before we finally were dunzies and got the official divorce decree. So again, when I read this, it’s like, man, if the life that this guy is experiencing, I had friends that were kind of living like this, and at the time I didn’t understand what they were doing or how they were pulling it off.

And here this guy is like a Jedi master with the ladies, even though he’s kind of sabotaging himself with the women he really likes. But again, there’s a lot of guys that are gonna be watching this video. There’s a pussy embargo going on in their life, and then they’re gonna listen to this email and they’re like, what is this guy fucking whining about? It’s like, seriously, dude, you’re balling. You’re balling out.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I’ve been following your work for over 7 years now, read the book over 25 times, and watched countless videos. You’ve answered many of my emails in previous videos as well. I feel like I’m hitting a wall.

Well, quite frankly, that’s just life. As you go through life, especially as you’re always biting off more than you can chew a bigger, better. Because like when you get to the top of the mountain and you accomplish something, you realize you look around, you go, “Holy shit, there’s much bigger mountains in the distance there.” And so it’s like a series of going up, and then you kind of plateau and you feel like you’re not getting where you maybe you feel like you hit a wall and then it goes up a little bit. And that’s just the way life is. So life is not all sunshine and roses. You’re not going to get to a place where you’re just going to bliss out.

Everything’s going to be wonderful, and you can just sit in your house and zen out all day. As the saying goes, if you zen out, they’ll come and take your furniture. Life requires your participation. And as Andy Andrews said, so, well, many years ago, actually 20 years ago, I think it was The Traveler’s Gift, which is a really great, probably one of the best speeches I’ve ever seen. Self-help speeches. One of the things he says about life is “We’re either in a crisis, headed for a crisis, or coming out of a crisis.” That’s pretty much what life is. It’s just one constant thing after another.

And you have some periods of peace where everything’s seems to be going well, and then another challenge will show up. It’s just the way it is. And so that’s something you have to get used to. You have to get used to hitting the wall, so to speak. Feeling like you’re getting nowhere. Because especially when you’ve got big goals, big dreams, maybe you’re raising kids and you’re having problems. Your kids aren’t progressing in school or whatever, or they’re having issues at school. Or issues with their friends, or you’re having family issues, or maybe somebody that’s close to you has got a health problem, or somebody all of a sudden gets sick or dies unexpectedly, or it’s just shit happens.

Like, give an example, I went to the DMV the other day. On Friday, I made an appointment like three weeks to get an appointment. And so I get, you know, I get a letter from the state and it says, hey, you’ve already done the real ID, so you’re just doing a renewal. You don’t need any other documentation. So I just brought my driver’s license because the letter they sent me said I didn’t need any additional documentation, even though I had it would have brought it. So I get there, and literally as I’m about to sit down, they call my number, which was I wasn’t expecting that because Chunky had just been a few months ago, and he was there for 3 or 4 hours.

And so they said, yeah, things were fucked up 3 or 4 months ago, but everything’s fixed now, so. And they were like, I bet you didn’t expect to get called so quickly. And so I did the eye test, which is really why I had to go in there. I did the eye test and took a new picture. And I’m thinking, you know, then I’m at the point and she says, oh, did you change your address the last time you renewed? I was like, I don’t know. I did everything online. I got a letter in the mail, says to renew and I renewed, I don’t know how long ago I changed the address. And she says, oh, I can tell you right now. She says, I’m going to look it up.

So she looks up in the computer and goes, oh, will, you changed your address online so you have to verify your address. I was like, well, that’s not what the letter says. Well, I know what the letter says. And then she got all of a sudden got real snotty with me. And um, and she basically I was like, well, here’s a letter. It’s like, this is what it says. I don’t need anything else. And she says, well, if you don’t like it, tell Tallahassee. It’s like the typical DMV fucking moron that lives in a little box and can’t think. Can’t function outside the box. I’m a drone. I can only operate in this box. I can’t do anything else. I’m like, well, why don’t you send an email or bang the phones, or call somebody and tell them to fix the fucking letter.

Because you’re sending it out to people this is obviously I’m not the first person to come in with this issue. You tell them they don’t need their additional documentation. In other words, they want two forms of ID. So I had to show my car registration and then I showed my voter ID. I had to drive all the way the fuck back home, 45 minutes to an hour of traffic each way to get back and do it, when if they again, this is what they told me to do. It was in the fucking letter. And I was like. And then the man I talked to, I was like, well, let me talk to a manager. She comes over, same thing. I’m in a little box. I can’t think I’m a moron. And this is why people hate the DMV and they hate dealing with the government.

There’s even a hit TV show called DMV. It’s a comedy about how screwed up things are in the DMV. And I was like, well, didn’t you ever think to maybe get on the phone and talk to somebody to fix the fucking letter that you’re sending out, because you’re having all these people come in here and make appointments, and then you give them an attitude about not having documents like, well, you change your address online. So you have to verify that. It’s like, well, it doesn’t say it in a letter. Well, you know, tell Tallahassee if you don’t like it, it’s like, no, how about you do your fucking job? You work for the government. If you know there’s a problem with it, why don’t you try to fix it? Take some fucking initiative.

But you know, that’s over their head. They would never do anything like that. So what could have been in and out of there in ten minutes? I’d be like, wow, DMV was a great experience. Of course not. So I ended up wasting fucking three hours anyways of my time. And I wanted to choke somebody, because it’s stupid. But you know, that’s the problem with a government bureaucrat, they don’t care about customer service. They don’t give a shit about doing things right. They don’t give a shit about doing a good fucking job. All they care about is the process. Doesn’t matter how expensive or inefficient or how much time people waste. They care about the process.

So that’s just a microcosm of the way life is. I could have gone in and had a really pleasant experience and go, wow, DMV was great. The last time I had to do an eye test was like 15 years ago, and they had these mobile buses that were driving around. I went there, I was in and out in ten minutes. I was living in Palm Beach at the time. I was like, well, this is easy, this is great. And then I hear about all the horror stories in South Florida of all the DMV places and people, you know, showing up without appointments and getting there like 12 a.m. and sitting there in a chair, and they don’t get seen till 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I’m like, imagine spending 15 hours sitting in a chair at the DMV.

That’s just so fucking ridiculous that stuff like that is happening. But again, that’s the government and the people there that run it. It’s like they don’t try to fix it. They just go, I gotta fix in my little box. And so we have to deal with stupid people like this, unfortunately. And it makes you want to jump out of your skin. But again, that’s just kind of the way life is. Something stupid like that comes along and it just screws your whole afternoon up, and that’s life. So you got to get used to those things. And at the end of the day, nobody cares. Work harder because we all got fucking problems. So again, hitting the wall and things not going your way, that’s just life.

I got out of an abusive relationship almost 2 years ago that involved cheating, gaslighting, as well as verbal and emotional abuse.

That’s why, especially after you’ve been through what you’ve been through, you should be taking your time. You should be in no rush. Because, as Edwin Chapin said, “Impatience never commanded success.” So you have to be patient. And even though I wanted to choke this idiot or these two idiots at the DMV that I had to deal with, it’s like I had to be patient. I had to hop in the car, drive all the way back through shitty traffic, dealing with accidents on the road, and eventually got it. It was I was in and out. And the thing when I get back, you know, the woman says, oh, just come back and see me and she’s not there. And I was like, well, I’m here to see so and so. And she’s like, is she still here? Oh, she’s probably on break. Just sit down and wait for her.

So I sit down for a couple of minutes. I’m like, maybe she went home, you know, she didn’t even want to go in the break room to look to see if the person was there. Her attitude was, oh, she’s probably on break. Don’t disturb her. She’ll probably be back out. She didn’t know whether she was on break or not. She’s just telling me to blow me off. And then so I went back to the original guy. That’s like the check in guy when you get there. I told him what was going on. I had the documents. One of them looks it up and took my stuff and scanned it all. They made me redo the eye test because I was like, well, I didn’t see you do the eye test.

Even though it was in the system that I passed. I didn’t see you do it. So you have to do it again. I was like, I mean, it takes like five seconds to read one line, but still, it’s like, that’s just how stupid these people are. They don’t care about customer service. Like, I’m a robot. I cannot think. And we’re surrounded by people like this. They drive slow in the left lane. That’s what you’re dealing with. And it’s frustrating as hell. But you gotta learn to be patient. And breathe and say, this doesn’t bother me or doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.

However, I went through therapy and worked through a lot of it and have come out stronger. The relationship also brought me to the city I live in now that I love. 

So at the end of the day, it made you a better human being. It improved your life. And again, in Mastering Yourself, there’s a series of things that go really sideways. I had people that fucked me over in business, things that cost me millions of dollars. But at the end of the day, I basically got a PhD because of the experience and shit that went sideways. And it made me a better person, a better business person. And I don’t make those same mistakes anymore. And plus, because of what I learned, I get to share it with customers and help them avoid the same train wrecks that I had to go through. So it’s not all the end of the world.

I’ve been dating and sleeping around a lot since the breakup. because I know your work so well, and I bartend and front a cool local band, I’ve had a consistent line of beautiful women in my life.

Oh, you poor baby. You really suffering through that.

However, very few of them have felt like a 10/10 to me physically. My abusive ex was a 10/10 for me physically at the time I think I’ve slept with hotter women since but was emotionally a wreck. 

So because he’s feeling frustrated that he hasn’t met somebody to have a good relationship with yet. And at the end of the day, great things take time. And if you’re not stable, if you don’t feel you’re ready, if you’re not really good company for somebody, if you can’t enjoy your time alone, it’s better to be alone than trying to find somebody to be happy with or that will make you happy. The idea is you want to get to a happy place first. And then a woman is like the cherry on top. It just makes things all better. It improves your life. So the most important thing that you need to be doing is getting to a happy place and being patient. You’re fucking 26, dude.

You are so far ahead of where I was at your age and you’re fucking whining like a little girl, like, oh poor me, life’s hard. And I’m sure the other people listening to you know, how you’re suffering through all these women that you’re meeting because you’re in a band and you’re a bartender, and some of these guys are like, they’ve got a pussy embargo going in their lives. Or they’re having problems with their girl, and their girl doesn’t want to sleep with them. And you’re going home with a different girl every week and you’re fucking whining. You’re like, come on.

I’ve dated and slept with a few women who are gorgeous and younger than me. I’m 26 and don’t want to date older.

Yes, yeah, you’re 26 year old man.

But they don’t stick around. I’ve dated older but it’s never quite felt the same. Hell, even tonight, I was at a bar for a friend’s birthday and saw a girl who was absolutely a 10/10 physically, got a little eye contact while she was dancing, but didn’t approach her because I really didn’t feel that sure of myself.

Well, again, when your life tends to be stable and you’re content and you’re in a happy place, that’s when you make a good partner for somebody else. And typically you’re not really trying to find a relationship. You’re just having fun and enjoying your life. That’s when somebody, just, out of the blue, you meet them. You want it, you have a desire for it, but you’re okay even if it takes years before it happens. But when you’re impatient and you’re upset that it’s not happening, that’s when it doesn’t happen. And so if your life is unstable and like in his case, he’s young, he’s partying, he’s, you know, growing his band.

He’s growing his audience. He’s trying to get better at his craft. And you’re going to have more casual hookups when you’re in that kind of place. So it’s just, what season of life are you in? Are you really stable? Are you really a good boyfriend material? Or are you just rocking out with your cock out? And it’s better that you’re coming across these women that are down to hang out, have fun and hook up no strings attached.

She was tall, fit, blonde, and well dressed. Unbelievably gorgeous, but I didn’t do anything since I didn’t see a smile.

Well, you’re going to get better results if you approach the women that have a smile. But if you approach women just because you really like them, you’ll still convert some, but your conversion ratio will be a lot less. You just have to do a lot more rejection. And so you have to be okay with getting rejected a lot.

I feel like I still might have a lingering feeling of inadequacy left from my ex who treated me like trash. This girl also looked like a hotter version of my ex.

So it’s like the ghosts of relationship past.

And I feel like I could’ve tried if that feeling wasn’t there. I’ve had some friends say I self sabotage because of my past.

Well, “The past does not equal the future”, as Tony Robbins said. So the other thing is, as a man, as another thing, Tony Robbins said, “Your comfort zone is where you’re most uncomfortable.” And so what you should have done is you felt the urge to approach it, but you felt uncomfortable about it. So even though you felt uncomfortable, you should have approached anyways just to get the rep in to see what happens. Because now you know, because what’s really going on now is now you’re stewing over it, going, man, what if that girl would have been happy to talk to me?

Or what if I had gone over and talked to her and she wasn’t very friendly at all? You know, like, wow, she was kind of a bitch. Crossed that one off my list. But instead, you’re stewing about it. So it’s better to shoot your shot and go down in flames and cross the girl off your list instead of spending the next six months wondering about that one girl that came and went and you didn’t do anything. But at the end of the day, you got to remember what’s meant for you will not miss you. There are people we are supposed to meet, and nothing will get in the way of that meeting happening.

I’m a few inches over 6 feet tall, good looking, charismatic, getting back to the gym and in good shape, and get on stage to sing my own songs regularly in the biggest city in the United States. They are smaller, indie shows though.

Well, big things have little beginnings. And you’re fucking 26 years old, dude. You’re a baby.

I get laid more than all of my single friends and have dated around endlessly. Even bartenders I’m friends with are confused by how I show up with a different pretty girl under my arm basically every week, but I don’t feel like I’ve lived up to my potential. 

Well, the part of the problem is your story. Your personal story that you’ve created is the problem. If you change your story, you change your life. So in other words, your success, your happiness. Feeling like you live up to your potential, you’ve got really unrealistic expectations that are up here. Thank you. When your reality is down here, that’s nice. Just come up. Stick your tongue in my mouth. Yes. Thanks a lot. Nothing like being tongue kissed by your puppy on video. Well there’s that. That’s called a pattern interrupt. You interrupted my pattern.

So that’s, you know, a good metaphor for what you got to do. Living up to your full potential. I mean, you’re 26, dude, your life is not going to be complete at 26. Even at 56, it’s not going to be complete. When you’re 50. When you’re my age, there’s going to be things in your life that you’re going to want to do. You’re working on, you’re trying to accomplish, and they’re just not there yet. That’s just life. Maybe you’ve got a kid that’s struggling in school and you’re just thinking, oh, if I could just get them past this math class, get them to graduate, oh, my life would be so much easier.

So if you always have unrealistic expectations that are up here and your reality is down here, you’re going to look at your reality and go, I wish I was here, but I’m actually here. This sucks. So you got to think in terms of what makes it easy to feel like you’re reaching your full potential. Well I’m here. This is a great place to be. I’m enjoying the journey, and eventually I’ll be up here no matter how long it takes. Because the important thing is success is making progress. So maybe change your perspective on things and change the way you look at things and not have such ridiculous goals that you always feel like you’re falling short.

Have goals that are a little bit more realistic and a little bit closer to being able to accomplish them, because success is making progress. And if you feel like you’re making progress towards your grandiose goals and dreams, then you’re going to feel successful. And if you feel successful, you’re going to be happy. But if you’re saying to yourself that I’m only going to be successful when I’ve sold a million records and I’m doing a 50 show tour a year and making millions of dollars a year, and then it takes you 20 years to get there. Well, you’re going to spend 20 years being miserable and not enjoying the journey at all.

And then you finally get there and you experience all that, and then you’re going to be like, is this it? Is all there is. I spent 20 years getting here. I make all these millions of dollars doing all these shows. I’ve sold millions of records, and this is it? That’s what happens. So success is not a moving target. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. You have to look at reasons that define things going on in your daily life right now, for reasons to be happy and excited and optimistic about where you are now and where you’ll eventually be in the future.

Because again, what’s happening is you’re focused on things that are not yet the way you want them to be in your life. And you’re deciding, well, I can’t be happy because my life isn’t exactly the way I want it to be. Despite the fact you’re bartending. You got a different girl on your arm every week. You got a successful band, you’re enjoying your life. You’re in a city that you really love. I mean, you’re doing great. So there’s really no reason for you to be upset. Because, again, probably the majority of the guys listening are like, what is this fucking guy bitching about? He’s he’s rocking out with his cock out. I would love to have that guy’s life, those guys that are watching this and be like, dude, come on, quit crying.

So again, change your story, change your life. Change the way, as Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” So if you’re constantly feeling disappointed every day, like you’re not reaching your full potential, ask yourself a better quality, more empowering question. Such as, well, what’s good about where I am today? What evidence do I have in my life today that I’m way further ahead of where I was five years ago? And if things continue in that same trajectory, I’ll probably be much further ahead five years from now. What evidence can I find in my life that I am making progress, even though it might be small and incremental.

Is the answer patience?

Yep.

Or is it me?

Again you have; because here’s the other thing that’s really important to understand. When we want reality to be other than it is, like in this case he’s like, where’s my soulmate? Where’s my next girlfriend? Oh, she’s not in my life. Okay, well, my life sucks. When we want reality to be other than it is. Guess what? We’re going to suffer. Because we can’t be happy in the present moment because we’ve decided something is missing from our life today. So therefore we can’t be happy until we have that thing that’s missing. Well, once you get the thing that you want, you’ll be happy for a little bit and then you’ll be like, is this it? Is this all there is? It’s just like getting a great woman.

If you’ve always struggled, then you finally get into a relationship with a woman that knocks your socks off after 6, 12 months and the honeymoon period wears off. If you were unhappy when you got into that relationship thinking, oh, this woman’s going to change my life and she’s going to make me happy. After about 6 to 12 months, you realize, why am I still not happy? I’ve got this amazing woman in my life, and yet I’m still looking around, going, why am I not happy? It’s because whatever you focus on expands. So if you’re constantly focusing on what’s missing or what sucks or what lacks in your life, well guess what?

You’re constantly giving your brain reasons to be unhappy and focus more on what sucks. So again, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Great things take time. Having your life where you really want it to be ten, 15, 20 years away from now, it’s going to take to get there. And when you get to that point and you get everything, then you’ll set even bigger, more audacious goals. As Henry Kissinger said, “Each success only buys a ticket to a more difficult problem that really is life in a nutshell.”

You climb the stairs, you get to where you want to be, and you look around and you go, Holy shit, there’s a mountain three times the size of the one I just climbed. Well, let’s go and try to climb that. And that’s the way life is. So you got to find a way to be grateful for where you’re at. Maybe getting up every day. And before you get out of bed, you spend five minutes journaling in a gratitude journal where all you do is just say, what do I have to be grateful for in my life today? It could be your health. It could be that you’re fit. It could be the people in your life. It could be your job.

It could be that your stocks are doing well, whatever it happens to be. If you look for reasons to be grateful. And that’s a great way to start the day because whatever you focus on expands. So if you get up every morning and you teach your brain and you train it by doing it every day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, what can I be grateful for in my life? Well, you’re going to get up every day looking at reasons to be grateful and happy. And if that’s what you focus on, that’s what will expand. It’s just like anything in life, it’s like you buy a new car and then you see that same car like all over the place, whereas before you never really noticed it.

So doing the gratitude journal every morning can really help start to retrain your brain to focus on reasons to be grateful for where you’re at right now, and also reasons to be excited about your journey and where you’re going and where you’re going to be in the future. Because again, there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. It is a conscious choice. I did a video many years ago, “The Corey Wayne & Bob Podcast”. One of the things that he and I talk a lot about, one of my best friends we get together is we talk about the art of having fun, because this friend of mine, since we were 28 years old in the late 90s, he retired from the tech industry.

He hasn’t worked since, and he just trades his stocks and he invests. He’s an equity investor. And when you don’t have to work for money, and you’re living off your interest and the income from your investments, and you have way more than you need. How do you spend your life? What do you do every day to find meaning in it? And it’s again, every time we get together, we talk about the art of having fun. What are we doing to focus on our lives, to currently get excited about and optimistic and positive and look towards the future. Because it really is an art. Again, it’s whatever you focus on. So again, change your story and you will change your life.

I’m going out drinking most nights of the week with friends, meeting girls, but I feel like it might be too much partying now. I am generally having a lot of fun though.

You’re the best Corey and appreciate everything you’ve done for myself and men greatly.

Best,

Bob

Well, I always think it’s best to use the 80/20 rule, where 80% of the time you’re being healthy and doing the right things, and 20% of the time you’re fucking around. So over the course of a month, that’s like 6 or 7 days tops, that you’re screwing around. But you’re young, you’re fit, you’re healthy. This is the business you’re in. I mean, I worked in that business tending bar. You’re going to go out probably several nights a week after you get off at two in the morning because you’re wired, you’re up, you’re like, I’m going to go home and go to sleep now. I’ve been working all these hours.

Let’s go out and have some beers with some fun with my friends. And so that’s part of the lifestyle. So focus on your health ideally 80/20. But I mean, there were periods in my life where I was partying and drinking about just about every day as well when I was young. Eventually you grow out of it, and especially as soon as you get a girlfriend, you’re not going to do these things as much anyway, so you might as well have fun and get to a happy place. And when you’re in a happy place and you’re really loving yourself and loving your life and where you’re at and you’re loving where you’re going, that’s when you’re a great match for a great woman.

So what you really need to focus on is just getting to a happy place and be grateful for where you’re at. Know where you want to go. Know what your outcome is. But give yourself permission to enjoy the journey because it’s going to take a long time to get there. And even once you get there, it’s just like guys that win a Super Bowl, like the next day, you’re like, what now? Well, there’s next season to prepare for. There’s a lot of partying and good things to have and enjoy. You got your parade. You got, you know, eventually you get your rings. But at the end of the day, the championship, everything you worked for, it’s like you win the game, you get the trophy, and then you go to a party.

The next day, you wake up with a hangover and that’s it. That’s the end of the season. The season’s over. It was one moment in time. So everything you perceive to be missing from your life will be one moment in time. And so if you only allow yourself to be happy when those moments happen, you’ll be happy for a brief moment and then you’ll be like, is this it? Is this all there is? I waited all this time to get her and the happiness lasted for one day. So again, that’s why it’s an art. And so you’ve got to focus on finding ways to be happy today. Because it is the journey that is the juice of life.

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