Why being constantly focused on finding out where you stand, resolving your relationship status questions or if your love story will grow, will actually prevent getting your ex back, causing someone to fall in love with you or attracting the love of your life.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who broke up with his girlfriend of five years five months ago. They lived together for a year and were friends for six years prior to their dating. He became frustrated and left their relationship. After a month he called her and apologized for dumping her instead of working on their issues and resolving them. Back when they were together, he says that they were unable to communicate their needs and wants to one another which led to a lack of intimacy and appreciation for one another.
They started spending time together again and he told her he wanted her back and wanted to work on their relationship. He made the mistake of thinking they could just jump right back into a relationship and pickup where they left off. She told him she needed time. He continued to focus on a resolution, getting a relationship label back and pursuing her to try and force her to make a decision, instead of just hanging out, having fun and hooking up. He is frustrated that it is five months later and they hardly ever see each other.
“A committed exclusive relationship happens slowly over time. Two people start hanging out, having fun and hooking up over the course of several months. Under normal healthy circumstances, the focus is simply on having fun, getting to know one another and enjoying a growing emotional, mental, spiritual and physical connection. When a man or woman starts dating with the intent to lock the other person down to a commitment, constantly needing to find out where they stand with the other person, getting a relationship status label, controlling or possessing the other, this will cause the person who is less emotionally invested to feel an impending loss of freedom; and therefore a loss of sexual attraction. Their natural tendency will be to pull back and desire space and time away from their new or potential lover. If the person who is more emotionally invested does not give the other person the space and freedom to come and go as they please, the least emotionally invested person will leave and never come back.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne