Are We Dating The Same Guy & Tea Apps That Shame Men

Some things to consider to avoid negative press on dating apps that shame men.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been very successful following my work. Recently he told a woman he had been seeing that he was no longer interested and wanted to move on and let her down easy. However, she torched him on a man shaming app and now several other women from his past have joined in.

He asks how to avoid being put on blast. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, I got an email from a guy here. He apparently ended up on the naughty list. I think it might have been the Tea app, but it was also the other one, Are We Dating the Same Guy? Which is basically where women go and share pictures and information about guys they met online or guys they dated, guys that dicked them over.

So this particular guy, he says he’s been doing very well with my work. However, he’s always done the best he could to kind of let women down easy when he decided that he didn’t want to see them anymore. I guess recently one of them wasn’t too happy about that. Maybe he probably dated her a little too long. Maybe she felt like he led her on too long or she was a little nutty, so she went and put him on blast on one of these apps. Now he finds out there’s a couple other women that he dated that he thought he walked away on good terms with, and apparently they’re torching him too. So he was asking my opinion on this.

If you’re going to do online dating and you’re going to meet a lot of women, it’s really important that they walk away with a good experience from you. I’ve talked about this before. Just simple things like working with somebody or if you’re a young guy and you’re in a fraternity and you hook up with a girl in a sorority, if you give her a good experience and you have great sex with her, she’s going to tell all of her sorority sisters, and most of them are going to want to sleep with you. If she’s like, “Yeah, he was a two-pump chump. He was a jerk. He was this. He dicked me over.” she’s also going to tell all her sorority sisters that, and that can really create some problems for you.

So this is really important. If you’re gonna date somebody, you don’t want to lead them on, you don’t want to dick them around, you definitely don’t want to lie to them, because if you treat them poorly now, these days with these kind of websites, women have a way to basically retaliate. So this is kind of happening. It’s important to date, but when you know you don’t want to go any further with a girl, you need to be honest and pull the ripcord on it, because the longer you date somebody, especially when you’re applying what’s in the book, women are going to get attached. It’s the cheat codes to life. So you don’t want to abuse that power, because if you abuse that power, karma’s a bitch, and it looks like karma finally caught up to this guy.

It’s a real short email, but it’s definitely something to think about, especially if you’re on dating apps and you’re meeting, dating and hooking up with lots of different girls, you want women to walk away and say, “He was a really great guy. He was really great in bed. We had a lot of fun together. I have nothing but good things to say about him.” That’s what you want. If you’re giving women the experience like, “Oh, he led me on. I thought we were headed for a relationship. Then he blew me off and a week later he was sleeping with my best friend.” So you can’t be a shit-bird in today’s world with the internet because again, there’s ways that women can retaliate.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I’ve been a follower of your work for many years after a bad breakup. I feel the information you have provided has made me an excellent dater! I’ve been very successful following your techniques.

Well, with great knowledge, or great power, comes great responsibility. Great knowledge and power, comes with great responsibility.

I’ve been on dates with many women, slept with many women, and now I know I am the prize and act like it.

Just don’t be arrogant and fool yourself and dick women over.

I have been turning down girls who aren’t meeting my standards because I meet even better women. Which has all been fine and great. I would gently let a woman down when I was no longer interested in them. Women individually have been fine with this until a relatively recent development with these online gossip groups, Are We Dating the Same Guy/Tea App…

Those are two different ones, where women go to basically give their feedback. Legally it’s like a gray area, because obviously you got countries and states that are passing laws against revenge porn and stuff like that.

That’s another thing. If you’re going to film yourself with your cell phone having sex with your girl, it’s like you got to be careful about those things because that stuff gets out. Or if you have a bad breakup, women are taking these things and torturing guys with it, and states are now starting to pass laws because it’s not good for the guy’s reputation, especially if the stuff is on video.

If you’re going to do things like that, I would only recommend it with somebody you’re really seriously involved with, not somebody you’re just casually hooking up with because again, you get a woman attached and then you break her heart, you dick her around and you’re cold, it’s like you might end up on the Tea app or Are We Dating the Same Guy?

…To the point where I am now being posted for having been on many dates. Many women who were fine are now NOT fine because I was dating multiple women. They are angry with me and negatively bashing me.

What are your thoughts on these groups and how to proceed in the dating world

Thanks!

Bob

Well, what are the negative things that they are saying about you? Is there truth in it, or are they just mean and bitter? Those particular individual women, how long did you date him for? If you only went out on a couple of dates and it didn’t work out, it shouldn’t be a big deal, but if you date them for two or three months and you’re hooking up for a while and then you just all of a sudden dip, that’s going to be a problem.

As the book says, and you’ll experience this if you apply the book, typically if you’re following it textbook, by about week six or seven is when women should be in love and wanting to know where things are going. So the longer you date a woman when you’re sleeping with her and hooking up with her, she’s going to get emotionally attached. Especially if you go beyond that two months and then you just all of a sudden dip and tell her you’re not feeling it, if you know you’re not feeling it, the sooner you know that, the sooner you should dip. Especially if you’re running through a lot of girls on the dating apps. So the longer you stick around, the higher the likelihood is going to be that she gets attached. Especially if you’re following what’s in the book to a T. So just keep that in mind. There is a time limit on that and so you got to be careful with it. Otherwise, you might end up on the Tea app or Are We Dating the Same Guy? So think about that.

Ideally, you want women walking away again with the, “He was such a great guy. We went out a couple of times. We hooked up. It was really great. He’s a gentleman. He’s really nice, but he said he just wasn’t feeling it.” So in that case, if you’re gonna hit it and quit it, I would only recommend he do that over a couple of weeks and then just say, “Hey, I’m not feeling it.” Women say that to guys all the time, but again, if you really get their emotions engaged, you go beyond a month, especially if you’re running through a lot of women, you just got to understand that if you’re exclusively meeting women online, you’re just going to get a higher incidence of screwballs and angry, pissed off women that are going to seek revenge. You got to think about that. Otherwise, you’re going to end up getting put on blast somewhere.

So I’d say only if you know right away you don’t want to keep seeing them, it’s better to dip, but I wouldn’t go beyond a few weeks because again, the closer you get to six or seven weeks, girls are going to get attached and they’re not going to like it when you just all of a sudden dip. Especially if you’re a guy that’s kind of making them think that you’re really into them and then you just all of a sudden coldly just say, “Yeah, I’m not feeling it. I’m going to date somebody else. I met somebody else,” or whatever, if you give the girl the impression that she has a chance of potentially becoming your girlfriend and things are moving in that direction, then you just all of a sudden pull the plug, I wouldn’t recommend that because you’re going to be put on blast. Definitely something to consider.

So think about that. If you’re going to go all the way with a girl, do you think she can handle it? Is she going to be nice about it, or is she going to torch your ass? Definitely something to consider. Character is destiny, and you guys got to be careful out there.

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