When you think about how a woman’s body is constructed, and how they interact with men they are sexually attracted to, you see they are totally set up to physically get a man’s attention so he can fill her up with his love physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
The reason women put on all of the warpaint, tight short skirts that show off their curves, perfume that smells like cotton candy, live in hair and nail salons, etc. is to get a man to notice them. Women physically try to get noticed by the dominant males with their looks, body, body language and sex appeal. Women will also chase you and call you in hopes that you will take the initiative and make a date for the two of you to get together, so she can be filled up by your love.
Most men are so busy chasing women, that they act like women. Feminine women are most sexually attracted to the most dominant masculine men. The very act of a man chasing a woman, is a feminine act. It’s submissive behavior. Since most men are insecure, they worry too much about whether a particular woman is mutually interested; or still interested. Therefore, in order to gain certainty, they call and pursue women trying to get confirmation that they still like them; this is seeking a woman’s approval. This is what women do when they chase you. It’s not so much that they are looking for your approval, as they are hoping that you find them, or still find them, desirable and interesting so you penetrate them in every way with your love.
Well, what is it that the most dominant men do that actually causes the most dominant women to chase them and go out of their way to get noticed by the dominant men? The dominant men are focused totally on succeeding in their lives and accomplishing their purpose. These men are going places. They are confident, and have a body language and physiology that communicates confidence and certainty that they can get or accomplish what they want in life. It’s almost like their lives are a metaphorical erection. Women notice that kind of dominance. Obstacles or rejection does not deter them or diminish them in any way. Masculine energy grows through challenge. Dominant men enjoy challenges because challenges get men outside of their comfort zone, so they can grow and become more. This is sexually enticing and exciting for women. Men who feel like they can pretty much do anything, also are fearless in how they love and penetrate women with their presence. Women like men who are sure of themselves. Being sure of yourself comes with experience & successes. Repetition is the mother of skill.
It does not matter if you are negotiating with a future business partner on the terms of your business partnership agreement, trying to get hired for a job you really want or trying to convince a customer why they should buy your product or service instead of your competitors, all dominant men are willing to walk away and never look back if the terms of any deal are less than what they feel they deserve. This includes women. They don’t have time for flaky behavior. They have so many women who want their attention. They have many friends who want their attention. They also have many business acquaintances and salespeople clamoring for their limited time. Therefore, the clients and business associates who they interact with, as well as the women they date, are always the most persistent ones who made his time feel most valued. The squeaky wheel always gets the oil. The hottest, most aggressive, most confident and most persistent women, are the ones he spends his time with. He has choices with women. He has many business opportunities. He is a leader of people, and never has a shortage of people clamoring for his limited time.
That is why I continually harp on working at and being at your best personally in every area of your life. The more your day is filled up with people and activities that you really truly love and enjoy, the happier, more fulfilled and confident you will be and radiate that to the world. The more successful you become, the more successful you will feel as a man. It’s like turning on a really bright spotlight, in a very dark place. Wherever you go people will notice you. So what do you do if your life is not yet like what I just described above? Act as if. Act like a man when you interact with other people and especially women, whose life already has too many demands on your limited time. When people call you, they’ll usually get your voicemail. If they text you it may be several hours, or the next day when you get back to them. It all depends upon how busy you are. Act as if you are already living the life that keeps you busier than a one legged Indian, at an ass kicking contest. Perception is reality. If you start interacting with other people and women like a dominant successful male does, people in general and especially beautiful single available women, will treat you like and interact with you like you already are. The more women you get in your life who you are dating and sleeping with, the busier you will be. You’ll also get a little cockier and develop the abundance mentality and mindset of a dominant successful male. Things will get easier and easier for you as time goes by. The women you date will get hotter and more fun to be with. Everyone loves to be around successful men who are really popular with beautiful women!
The following is an e-mail I got from a reader. He’s doing the opposite of what I just described above. He’s acting weak, needy and giving his girlfriend too many reasons to choose another guy over him. He’s lowering her interest level in him and certainly not acting like a guy who thinks he is a catch. He’s acting like a man with a scarcity mindset which causes him to treat his girlfriend like she is the only woman who will ever like him or want to be with him. If he does not read my book ASAP, and start applying what it teaches in earnest, she’s going to dump him. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
I just read an article on your website. I have been dating a girl for 9 months now and my gut feeling (you should always pay attention to what your gut is telling you. You know something is up, but you have not read my book yet, so you still are in the dark about how to properly approach and handle your interactions with women. If you would like to have choice with women in your own life, you should download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn the basics of approaching, dating & understanding what women really want in a man.) is telling me I’m getting played. (It’s possible, but you have not read my book yet. So you are still lost in the dark. Throwing darts in a blizzard hoping to hit the bulls-eye.) I have made a few mistakes however, I addressed my mistakes and am willing to change for the better; but I feel it is already too late. We had a rough two months where we were on and off, and now she says we are going to work this out and be okay. I don’t know if I should believe this or what. (Always judge a woman by what she does, not what she says) She loves hanging out with my room mate who lives next door, and I’ve already told her and him that I don’t appreciate it and they don’t care. (Women will hook up with your friends if they think you don’t “get it” with women.) She has started spending less time with me, and more with her friends. These friends are ones that I’ve never even heard of. (That is a sign her interest level in you is falling. See page 120 of my book.)
I am almost 25 and she is almost 21. We both go to the same school. How can I find out if shes getting with other guys? (Who cares! By focusing on being at your best personally and starting to apply what I teach in my book, you can probably still turn things around.) She tells me nothing is going on but that’s not enough, (When you don’t believe her, it turns her off. Women don’t appreciate being accused of being disloyal when its your own insecurities that are causing you to act fearful and weak. Keep it up, and she DEFINITELY will leave you for another guy who doesn’t act weak or needy. Don’t sweat women who don’t treat you like a catch. Instead, go spend time with women who do perceive you as a catch.) if she loved me like I love her, she would listen to what I have to say and do it. (Women are not robots. You can only ask them in a loving way to treat you how you want to be treated. If they don’t, you can either put up with it, or leave her to find someone who will. Men who perceive themselves as a catch would not stick around and put up with not being treated the way they want.) I have deleted every girl off my Facebook, (That’s silly. All of your other female friends?) because she wanted me too, and the few remaining girls I have left, are friends I grew up with. I am from a small town, and went to grade school with these people my whole life, she is from Orlando and doesn’t have friends in town the way I do. I am very confused, and I am also in a low point in my life. I have already concluded that this is the girl I want to spend my life with. (NONSENSE!! You are too young and inexperienced to know that. Plus, you have not even read my book yet. You don’t know what you don’t know.) What can I do to make her talk to me more, and less with other guys? (Stop chasing and calling her. Only make plans to see her when she contacts you first. Bury your face in my book so you can start to lift the fog from your eyes about what women really want and respond to.) Is it wrong for me to ask her to stop talking to guys if I can’t talk to girls? (You both should talk to whom ever you want. If she’s going to cheat on you, she’s going to cheat and there is nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is be her best option and be a challenge.) How can I see what she is doing without being like a stalker? I have many questions and concerns and I would like some serious advice. (Read my book, then book a phone coaching session with me by CLICKING HERE.)
Also I would like to know who you are, and what experiences you have been through. (All in my book. You can also read this and this.) I am a 6th year senior for the fact that I do not attend all of my classes, I am very smart I just get F’s for missing classes. Yes I am stupid in that way, so I do not have money for your advice. (I don’t coach people for free. My information is free, but you have to pay for my time if you want me to help you. I only do about 10 hours of phone coaching per week. I simply do not have time for any more. If you don’t think investing in yourself, and booking a 1-hour phone coaching session is worth your money, you should not be emailing me for advice.) If you can find it in your heart to help a 24 year old trying to survive and live his life then please respond to this email, (I have used it in this article. That’s the best I can do.) or please give me a call.
If you have any further questions, do not hesitate to ask. I will answer the questions about my relationship to the best of my knowledge and 100% truthfully. I do not want to lose this girl. (You will if you don’t change your approach.)
Kevin C. Ober
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way. It cannot be gained by interfering”-Lao Tzu