In order for things to effortlessly manifest in your life the way you want, you must first lose your attachment to your outcome, and let go of your desire. When we want things to be different than they are in our lives, we suffer. We suffer when we do not accept reality. Oprah Winfrey said, “You can have it all, but you can’t have it all at once.” If you are in year two of getting a four year college degree, and you really wish you were done and graduated, the only thing you can do is accept the fact that it is going to take another two years of daily consistent effort to finally finish college and graduate with the degree you seek.
If you are an entrepreneur who has spent the last three years and most or all of your life savings trying to figure out a viable business model, but you have no idea how many more years or how many more times you will have to change your approach until you finally figure it out, you will suffer if you can’t let go of the possibility that success may still be five or even 10 years down the road. It’s always best to take the path of least resistance in life. Once you know what you want.
I was talking with a phone coaching client earlier today about taking the path of least resistance in his new career. He wants to get a job in law enforcement, but yet it has been elusive for him even though he served honorably in the United States Army, and he received the Purple Heart for his injuries received in the Iraq War. A strategic planner & brilliant corporate turnaround expert once taught me, “there’s no such thing as a bad idea, only bad plans.” Bob Parsons, Founder and CEO, of GoDaddy.com said, “Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working, doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.” When we become attached to things being the way we think they should be, we get in the way of the universe giving us exactly what we want. Why? Our stubbornness and inability to be flexible and try new things, will often keep us stuck in the corner of a room spinning our wheels like a malfunctioning vacuum cleaner robot. Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Your perception is your reality. If you are not where you want to be, but have been spending a tremendous amount of time and effort trying something that is not working, it’s always best to take a step back and try a fresh approach. That’s what I suggested to my client. I suggested he continue to try to get a job in law enforcement, but to also explore his options in the private security sector. In the private sector, he could make from up to $750-$1500 a day protecting wealthy people, CEOs, celebrities, corporate security, etc. He definitely can’t make that kind of money working for the government. With his skills and background, he could make three or four times the money in the private sector doing private security work with some really successful and interesting people, live a much better lifestyle, and the best part… he could make his own hours!
I explained to him that by trying to get a job in law enforcement while he explored other possibilities, he gives himself more options and a quicker chance for success. I also asked him, if he was making six figures working in the private sector, and then got offered a job in public law enforcement making $25,000 a year entry level, would he really want to give up the big income and the flexible hours? He said probably not.
Guys do this all of the time with women. They get all hung up and fixated on one woman so much so, that they completely ignore and are unable to notice all of the beautiful available women they are surrounded by every day, who would love to have a date with them. It’s not until the guy takes a step back from his suffering over the loss of the girl he blew it with, the women who ignore him or his lack of success, that he is finally able to see there are possibilities he could have right now. The reason he cannot see all of the beautiful available women he is surrounded by, is because his belief is so strong that he either doesn’t deserve what he wants, or that reality is different than it is. These limiting beliefs and irrational fears cause his brain to ignore what’s right in front of him.
Here’s how to get in the flow with life. Life is always changing and becoming something other than it is. It’s always growing and expanding. If you try to swim upstream instead of swimming with the current, you will wear yourself out and drown. If you learn to swim with the current, you can simply pick up all of the beautiful women, career opportunities, business opportunities, friendships, wealth opportunities, etc. as they are presented to you along your journey. But you must first be open to the fact that God does not give you what you want, but instead gives you exactly what you need to help you grow into the fullness of the complete successful divine being he created you to be.
You should learn to adopt an attitude of gratitude. The more grateful you are for the blessings and opportunities that are presented to you in your daily life and journey, the more you will notice other great opportunities and reasons to be grateful. You get what you focus on life. What you focus on expands. Where intention goes… energy flows! If what you are doing is not working, then you need to change your approach and try something new. A successful entrepreneur is slow to change their mind about what they want, but quick to change their approach and how they go about becoming or achieving what they want.
I spent a lot of years of my youth suffering over women who rejected me, women who I hoped would love me or women who I wanted but could not have. I missed out on a ton of great opportunities I could have had, but passed up because of my own limited ways of thinking and being. Overcoming them basically involves losing the limiting beliefs that hold you back & keep you in your own self-created mind prison. Over time you lose your attachments to how you think your outcomes should show up. That way, the universe can effortlessly bring you exactly what you want over time. When you believe, and are so stubborn that things have to be a certain way, you get in the way of God/the universe giving you exactly what you are seeking. It’s not about sitting in your bedroom and zenning out, and a BMW magically appears in your driveway like many of the Law of attraction books and videos that have been so popular in recent years. It’s about knowing what you want first, and then pursuing becoming who and what it takes to become what you want. As they say after you have stated your hearts intention, you should “let go and let God.” However, you must be ready to take advantage of the opportunities as they are presented to you, but not be attached to how you think things should be or show up.
My client who has struggled to get into the career in law enforcement that he wants, has also struggled with women. But these past few months he’s really been succeeding well, getting laid by several different women and not really having to do much to make it happen. Why? He’s starting to become comfortable with not trying to force anything with women, but instead accept their advances by understanding that when they call, e-mail, text or message him, what they are really communicating to him is that they want him and want to see him. All he has to do is set the date and get back to his busy life. His success with women is starting to become effortless. They are calling him and telling him point blank how much they miss him and how they want to see him. It’s counterintuitive. It’s hard for him like it was for me. It’s hard to let go and trust that if you give the women enough time after setting them up properly, they will chase you and go out of their way to make you theirs!
What’s the difference that made the difference? He learned to interact with women who displayed indicators of interest, and to notice the signs of when a woman was really interested in him. Once he learned how to spot the ones who really liked him, he simply created dates, or romantic fun-filled opportunities for sex to happen. Usually after the first date, women start initiating contact with him, because he made them feel so safe and comfortable. Other women he exchanges numbers with, and they contact him before he even gets around to contacting them. Its impossible to get dumped by women who are chasing you! This gives you choice with women! If you would like to have choice with women in your own life, you should download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn the basics of approaching, dating & understanding what women really want in a man.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.”-Charles Kingsley