How developing your conversation skills, being inquisitive and being sincerely interested in the other person will enable you to build rapport, which will create sexual attraction and eventually lead to sex and relationships.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has become very good with women in his dating and pickup game. He discusses the value of creating rapport with women by getting them to talk about themselves and things that they enjoy in life. He has been in sales for over twenty five years, and the fact that he had already developed his fact finding skills made it easy for him to put those same skills to work with women he was meeting and dating to create rapport and attraction. However, he is very busy and is raising a 15-year old daughter, so he doesn’t have a lot of free time to chit chat or incessantly text with the women he is dating. He asks my opinion on what he should say to and do with the women he is dating, since they quickly become so attracted to and enamored with him and want to be in a relationship with him, in order to not hurt their feelings and prevent them from wanting a relationship so quickly after meeting.
First off, I wanted to tell you I am very successful with women, but saw and read your book, and it was a great refresher. I encourage any man in any position, i.e. good with women, trying to learn to be more in tune with women, in or out of a relationship, etc., to read your “How to Be a 3% Man.” After being successful in sales for over 25 years, I’d say you nailed it in your book when you tell readers to get a woman to talk about herself. I personally have found that the most important part of getting a yes in sales, dates, sex, etc., is during process discovery. Fact-finding is the most important and most overlooked part. (Be a good listener, and ask her the kinds of questions she would like to answer. By being sincerely interested in who she is, it shows you care about her.)
A little bit about myself: I am 50 years old, was in a long marriage for over 20 years, and recently became single. I have no problem picking up women 35-50, getting their numbers, etc. The problem I am running into is, most of them want to text all the time, call and really want to get into a relationship too fast. (It’s important to speak your truth and let them know you’re not ready to jump into another relationship.) I tend to have a personality that doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I tend to not be blunt and to the point, stating that I love being single and can’t devote the time and attention a woman needs, because I’m raising a 15-year old daughter. So my question is, when should I tell a woman how I am or feel, so she doesn’t expect a relationship from me so quick? (It’s always best to be honest and authentic. If she brings it up, let her know you need to take your time, but you’ll understand if that doesn’t work for her. The right person for you will give you space to come and go.)
Thanks, and love your program.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When you want to create rapport with other people you would like to influence or members of the opposite sex that you would like to date, you should ask them the type of questions that they would enjoy answering. Deep down, the person who most people would like to talk about are themselves. Every human being loves it when they encounter another human being who is sincerely interested in who they are, their interests, hobbies, hopes, dreams and what they enjoy talking about. By becoming a sincere and inquisitive listener, you will become the leader of all of your interactions with other people. This will enable you to influence potential employers, clients, customers, friends, lovers, investors, etc., so you can cause other people to willingly and enthusiastically help you and give you what you want. Why? It’s almost impossible to say no to a good friend or someone who makes you feel special and important.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne