Avoiding Needy Insecure Girls Who Get Upset Easily

How to spot & avoid needy insecure girls who get upset too easily & are difficult to be with.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who met a girl on a dating app. They only had 2 dates and it’s clear she was extremely insecure and needy. She became difficult, got upset and offended easily and took everything as a personal rejection. It’s a good email that illustrates how repulsive acting needy and insecure in someone you’re trying to date so you can avoid them. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne, and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Avoiding Needy Insecure Girls Who Get Upset Easily.”

Well, this is a really good email because we get the perspective of what happened because usually it’s the guy doing all these things that are incredibly repulsive and unattractive to women. But in this case, we got a girl that’s really insecure, really needy. She gets butthurt really quickly. And the beauty of the book 3% Man is by applying it, you bring out the best and the best, and the worst and the worst. You’re going slightly slower than she is. You’re calmer. If the girl’s got a healthy self-esteem, she’s going to like you more.

If the girl’s messed up, her dad did a shitty job. She’s needy. Her interest will go up, but she’ll get upset and she’ll be difficult and she’ll be mad. And her perspective that she her reality filter for everything is everything’s a personal violation. I’m being rejected. I’m with somebody that doesn’t care. And this is what happens when mom and dad are either not around or they don’t give you enough strokes as a kid. So you grow up thinking there’s something wrong with you. You’re not loved, you’re not lovable. And so you try to force things.

And like this girl, presupposes she’s being treated badly. And plus she, you know, you’ll see at the end of the email, she had a relationship with a guy that she was really into who just jerked her around and strung her along. And so now she’s constantly reacting to this guy who wrote the email as if he’s the same guy that jerked her around in the past. So again, when somebody presupposes the worst, usually it’s the guy in this situation. But in this case, we got a guy who’s he seems like his game is kind of tight because she just starts going really squirrelly pretty quickly.

I mean, they had two dates and she’s getting really upset. But it helps you understand and spot the needy ones so it doesn’t take you several months to find out. You can find out in this case, after two dates, that she’s kind of a Froot Loop and messed up. And you want a woman who’s nice to you, who’s easygoing, easy to get along with. And most importantly, she makes your dick hard. Not your life.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

We matched on a dating app. For our second date, dinner was planned but she suggested a concert with her friends instead of our planned dinner. I told her I wasn’t ready to meet her group and wanted to focus on us.

He’s a good student. No group dates until she’s in love and you’re in an exclusive relationship. Because more often than not, she gets you around her friends, and there’s usually a guy in the group, a beta male orbiter that’s always had a crush on her, and he doesn’t like you, and he talks shit, or the girls talk shit, or you put your foot in your mouth, you drink too much, and now you’re getting cock blocked by all the friends in the peer group. And plus, she’s not going to act natural around her friends because she’s too worried about what they think. And so you want her to be natural. You want to establish a good bond between the two of you. So you don’t have interference from her friends or yours.

She pushed back, but we went to dinner anyway. She was glued to her phone making plans, barely present. Shocker. At that point, I figured screw it we’re toast either way.

He’s like, yeah, fuck it. Fuck it.

I’m new to town and might as well make the most of the night. We went to the bar, had fun, and I crashed at her place. Nothing happened, she ended up throwing up from drinking.

Oh. That’s fun. Well, maybe you got to hold her hair and smell her barf. It’s very attractive. The next morning, she accused me of updating my hinge profile pics.

The next morning, she accused me of updating my Hinge profile pictures. I didn’t. I said nope, and when I joked, “Oh, you’re checking me out?” she said, “I’ll check you out whenever I want.” Later that day, she updated her own profile. We weren’t exclusive, so it doesn’t matter but that is an interesting observation. That night, she texted me around 8PM, but I was out and went to bed early. I replied the next morning, and she said my “disappearing act” felt off.

I was like, where are you? Why weren’t you available damn it? I called and you weren’t home. This really pisses me off. Who are you with? I remember they had two dates. And he never even kissed her. And nothing happened. And she’s already getting possessive. Again this is why you apply what’s in the book. This is why you take measured steps. This is why you just do one date a week. This is why in the book it says if you just started dating a girl and you’re 1 or 2 dates in and she’s texting you at 8:00 at night, 7:30 at night, and you’re out doing something. Text her back the next morning. Why? Because she’ll like you more, if she’s got a good attitude. But she’s got a bad attitude and she’s insecure like this girl does, she’ll blow her top and get pissed off.

And you want to find that shit out as quickly as possible. Because the more her interest goes up, the more she really starts to like you, the worse this behavior gets. She becomes jealous. She becomes possessive, she becomes constantly angry and upset and like, you’re always going to feel like you’re walking on eggshells. That’s no fun. So the book is designed to weed out girls like this as quickly as possible, because you don’t want to find out that she’s like this a month or two in when you’re really starting to like her. Because then it’s a lot harder to walk away because now you’re emotionally hooked.

I explained I wasn’t ignoring her, but she wouldn’t let it go. We had another date planned, but she said she couldn’t tell if I liked her because I wasn’t acting “obsessed.”

Well, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. She, on the other hand, can’t handle it. She gets upset, takes it as a personal rejection. And you were somehow, someway manipulating her and trying to be mean.

I jokingly said, “We’re not there yet, give me something to be obsessed about, and you’re not obsessed with me either.” Thought she was joking. She has two strikes and several foul balls. It turns out she didn’t like that and said she shouldn’t have to change for someone to be obsessed with her. I didn’t say that. I said, “Well why do I have to be obsessed with you? We’ve only met twice.” But she said we didn’t need to see each other again.

So right away she’s like, that’s fine. That’s it. It’s over. You’re a jerk.

I said, “Okay that was weird.” Then she asked me to call her. On the phone, she had trouble explaining anything/lots of silences.

That sounds like a weird, awkward call. She’s just. She’s a bit of a screwball. Again, this is why you follow the book. So you can find this out really quickly. Not after you slip one past the goalie.

She brought up a past one-sided relationship and said she’d never go through that again.

Well, once a woman starts comparing you to a previous boyfriend or guy that jerked around, just say, “look, I don’t know that guy, I wasn’t there. I’m sorry that he treated you poorly, but you can’t judge me through the lens of that other guy. You got to give me a chance to get to know you, and vice versa. You can’t hold me to the standard that this other guy did and just assume I’m the same.” “All men are like that. All men are the same. You’re all jerks. You all just want one thing. You just want to get in my pants. You don’t care about me.”

I reassured her that I was interested, but early obsession isn’t real or healthy.

Which is true.

She repeated a lot of what she said earlier, mentioned she could find someone else. I said, yeah you probably could.

These are pretty good comebacks.

And when I asked what she thought of me. I was trying to figure out what the hell is causing her to act like this. She shut down, refusing to answer, and said, “I let you sleep in my bed instead of sending you home.” I thanked her for letting me crash. We sat in silence for a while, so I ended the call calmly saying I have nothing else to add, think about what you want to do, and you know how to reach me. Later that night, she sent me a random Instagram meme that said, “My life would be boring without her.” I didn’t respond.

What exactly happened here?

Thank you Coach

Bob

Congratulations! You came across a Froot Loop. You came across a girl that’s incredibly insecure and her dad didn’t do a good job. So again, this is after two dates. Just imagine what happens after you’ve slept with her and she really becomes emotionally invested. She’ll probably be showing up at your house, stalking you, keying your car, assuming you’re with somebody else, when maybe you’re out to dinner with your parents or something. It’s just typically the behavior gets worse. You could go out with her again. I personally would avoid this, because this is just, you’ll see. I mean, you know, go ahead and date her.

Women like this, they get just tiring, because every. “Oh, you were staring at that waitress. I saw you looking her. Yes you were. Aha. I saw it just like my ex was the same way.” That kind of shit just. It’ll get worse and worse, typically. But, you know, if you’re a glutton for punishment, you like dealing with this. It’s all on you, man. It’s your life. But again, this is why you follow what’s in the book. So an incredibly insecure girl that’s just a pain in the ass. The girl that’s going to make your life hard instead of your dick reveals herself after two dates. Makes it easy for you to dip.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.