Avoiding Problematic Women

The importance of avoiding problematic women if you want a drama-free life.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for about seven years. He shares how my work has helped him to identify and avoid problematic women who when he was younger, he probably would have engaged with.

It’s a good email to illustrate the importance of vetting based upon character and what a woman does, not what she says. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So if you want to have a drama-free life when you spot this kind of behavior or these kind of character traits in women, it’s good to avoid.

So this particular email is kind of a success story. This particular guy, he’s been following my work for about seven years and he kind of shares how the work has changed him and how he’s kind of more focused on vetting and character. Whereas he says when he was younger, these two female neighbors of his that are attractive, but kind of got messy situations, he probably would have thought, “Hey, Captain Save-A-Hoe to the rescue! I can work with this,” and probably would have got involved with these girls, but instead he knew just to steer clear.

So just because she’s hot, she might be crazy and she might be just not a good person to have around. Especially at least one of these women lives with their boyfriend. So imagine screwing your hot female neighbor when her guy lives there. It’s like, why would you want to deal with that? Why would you want to mess with your neighborhood, especially with a person of low character? Probably it’s because you’ll get found out. Maybe one of your other neighbors sees you and it gets back to the boyfriend or the husband. There’s just some situations in life where you got to have enough self-control, self-respect and enough abundance in your life to where you’re like, “Yeah, I’m gonna pass on that.”

It’s a good email that just shows how 3% Man can change you and get you focused on noticing high and low character traits and people around you, people you befriend, also obviously women potentially that you date, so you can avoid a lot of potential pain and downside risk and have a drama-free life.

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hi there Coach,

I hope all is well in the free state of Florida. I started following you about seven years ago. I read your first book over a dozen times and your second book twice. They, and your video newsletters, helped my game immensely.

I’m currently 33 and live on my own, no kids, at least none that I know of!

Well, that’s good.

I enjoy being a free agent and focusing on my hobbies like gardening and reading, and my life purpose as an author and musician. I’ve been published in a few poetry and nonfiction books and run a successful independent news outlet in my town. I’m also a unique guitar player that specializes in alternate guitar tunings. I also play a few other instruments like the piano and violin, the last of which I only recently learned.

Lately, a couple of women who appear to be in bad relationships and life situations have set their eyes on little old me…

How many times have I done video newsletters over the years where guys got involved with these women and they’re like, “Captain Save-A-Hoe to the rescue,” and it just doesn’t end well? So this is really good. This guy exercised self-control, and even though he never dated any of these women, he just kind of kept them at arm’s length because he just learned that some women are better just left alone.

…And have become evidently butt-hurt by my total non-responsiveness. One of them, let’s call her Karen #1, is a mother of two. Some guy lives with her, though I don’t know if he’s their biological father or not. I don’t really care, but they seem to fight a lot.

Well, look who she chooses to be with. If they’re always arguing, well that means she’s probably an argumentative person and if you started dating her, she’d probably be arguing with you just because that’s normal to her. So it’s important to spot that.

Karen #1 has tried striking up conversations with me on multiple occasions. Once while dog-sitting my buddy’s little guy as I walked him, and another time as I left my house. Most recently, on my way to my truck a couple nights ago, she acted startled as I turned the corner to walk to my vehicle. She was throwing out her trash and walking back to her building. She threw the trash can in front of her as she acted scared by my turning the corner as it was nighttime and immediately apologized.

I just looked at her oddly and walked around her towards my destination, without saying anything. She then started saying she had, “A man in the house who doesn’t want to do anything…”

Basically, “My man won’t fuck me.” You know, maybe the windows are open and she’s downstairs and he can hear her complaining to some other dude in the neighborhood. “He’s not giving me the meat missile properly!” Let’s read it again: “A man in the house who doesn’t want to do anything.”

…Suggesting he refuses to take out the trash or do chores. Again, I was just like, “Nope. Not today, Satan. The power of Christ compels you. Not getting dragged in. Bye bye.”

She then asked me if I was the guy who had talked to her kids earlier, as apparently some kind of incident occurred in the neighborhood earlier that day. I just nodded my head, again saying nothing, and just turned to keep walking.

I mean, he’s just totally indifferent.

As I walked away, she just kept yapping saying, “OK, sorry to bother. Have a good night.” She seems to continuously try to find angles into my sphere. She’s the most persistent.

Karen #2, who lives next to her, is more on the ghetto side and likes to party with ghetto dudes, has a view into my garden.

So I guess her window is overlooking his garden.

When she first moved in a few months ago, I was bothered by her because she always had her window open and seemed to be peeking out into my back porch when I watered my plants.

“How dare you! I’m watering my plants, woman! You damn Karen!” Oh, Karen #2. Sorry. “You damn Karen #2!”

She finally got the nerve to say from her window, “Hey dude! I love your plants!” I was annoyed because I consider my back patio garden my sort of sacred space where I go for tranquility. I said nothing to her and just half-smiled. She then said, “Ha-ha! Did I scare you?” I maintained my grin and just walked back inside. I think she got the hint because now she’s never out there when I water my plants. Thank the lord (I’m being facetious with these religious references by the way. I’m an atheist).

They were pretty funny.

We crossed paths a week later and she seemed upset, kind of just storming away.

Drama-free zone.

While most guys including myself sometimes write in to you from time to time to talk about successes with the ladies, I think avoiding problematic women from the start and not giving them the time of day can also be wins.

Abso-fucking-lutely! You are right!

You’re right when you say experience helps you determine what you like and don’t like. I remember getting involved with some problematic women like the two Karens when I first started following your work, for practice. These two reminded me of some of those early mistakes, so I’m not even entertaining friendships with them, which seems to really irk them.

How dare you! How dare you not show them romantic attention?

Your work, without a doubt, helps men win the women of their dreams, for sure, but now I see how it can also help you escape the women of your nightmares too, before they even have a chance to ruin your life.

Thanks for all you do!

Bob

That was a nice, short, succinct, good success story of a guy who’s learned the hard way. He already got burned earlier on and now when he comes across Karens, he’s like, “No thanks, Karen. Not today. I’m not going to get involved.” It’s hard.

This is what happens when you have an abundance mentality and you realize that you just don’t have to put up with this shit, because remember, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. Since he’s not inviting them into his world, they’re on the outside looking in because he’s learned and he knows better. He’s like, “I’m not getting involved with any of that bullshit.” So good for you, dude.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.