In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has been successfully applying what I teach. He feels he has met the most beautiful and incredible woman in the world. He’s in love with her, and she’s in love with him. He talks about how he’s courting her and also shares the fact that his beautiful girlfriend has lots of guy friends, and is constantly getting hit on by other men. He discusses how he handles this and how he responds to her when she shares these things that actually cause her to like and want him even more. He gives her the freedom to come and go as she pleases, and she tells him about every single guy who hits on her and tries to steal her away from him. He discusses the importance of never getting jealous over this and acting somewhat indifferent, which continues to make her feel safe and comfortable enough to share stories of the attention she gets from other men with him. She does this because she knows he won’t become totally unglued and lose it. His relationship is easy and effortless because he’s done the work on himself and learned over time and by using repetition, to perfect his pickup, dating, and relationship skills. It’s another great success story of how to properly apply the principles in my book so you can get the same results in your own life.
Well once again I find myself writing to you to thank you so much for the impact you have had, and are having, in my life!
You may remember, I wrote to you a little while ago telling you how I’d managed to meet the most incredible woman in the world after a period of really struggling with dating and meeting women?! Well we met four months ago, we’re in a long distance relationship now, and things are quite simply, amazing! (You deserve the very best, but you have to do the work.) I visited her for a week a few weeks ago, having already surprised her with a visit the month before that. The surprise visit was a HUGE risk, but I did my research, made sure she would be free and in town, and she was completely bowled over by this gesture! Since then and the following visit, it’s fair to say that we are madly in love with each other, and frequently talk about this fact. She’s coming to visit over Christmas, and then I’m spending time with her at her place in January…can’t wait!! (This is just more evidence that you really can have it all in life if you do the work and apply yourself in a directed and focused way.)
I have to say though, there have been a few potential pitfalls along this journey that I must thank you for your advice on! For example, my girl is VEEERY beautiful and has a lot of interest from guys! She also has a lot of close male friends, one of whom is an ex-boyfriend from many years ago. It would be so easy to get jealous and possessive over this, and think ‘Oh my God! I’m going to lose her to one of these many, many guys!’ BUT NO. She actually tells me about these friends and these guys that hit on her when she’s out, ALL OF THE TIME, and this tells me that she is loyal and definitely a keeper. (A good, loyal, and honest woman will continue to let you know you are the most special guy in her life, and none of these other guys will get her attention.) And how do I react? I just stay centered and look at the facts. I’m a cool and interesting guy that she is lucky to have in her life. (That is the right way to look at life. Women want a guy who believes in himself, loves himself, and knows how to treat a woman.) She tells me daily that she adores, loves and wants me, and she’s honest with me about these things. So what do I have to do?!? NOTHING. I just say something like “Ohhh that’s ok baby! I know you’re so beautiful that you’ll turn every head in the place…but I also know that sexy smile is only for me my love!! Go and have fun with your friends. You know I trust you and can’t wait to see you again!” or words to that effect. And the result? Oh God Corey! It’s like it totally turns her on even more for me! (You must love in such a way, that the person you love feels free. This is total freedom. You love her and let her come and go as she pleases, and therefore, she loves you back.) And these poor dudes trying to hit on her can’t get her attention because she’s blowing up my phone with texts! It’s like she can see that I’m ‘okay’ with her having fun and that I have her trust, and the love she shows me as a result is just BEAUTIFUL!
Also, the idea that you always talk about of ‘being the leader’…it’s so true! However, I’ve learned, and from previous relationships also, that this doesn’t mean that you dictate everything in the relationship. It’s more that you act on what you find out she likes doing…offer to take her somewhere that you already know both you and she are going to love! I’ve organized some great dates for us when she comes to visit me over Christmas, and I definitely found that just ‘being the man’ and listening to her and then ‘acting’ and making fun, playful dates happen only seems to drive her more crazy for me! She’s VERY excited! Which is fine by me Corey, because I’m so crazy about her too! And it’s not about money either. (It’s not all about money and this is evidence. This guy acts like a man, and that’s why he’s got a 10 in his life.) Some of these dates don’t cost much at all…like a visit to an animal sanctuary because we both adore animals, and we both know we’ll get to enjoy this feeling together. It’s just about taking action to make fun, playful experiences happen with each other!
Anyway, that’s where I’m at! So thanks again, and as you always say, “the courtship never ends”…I totally get that now!
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When a man gets jealous of the attention his woman gets from other men, this makes him look insecure and weak which diminishes her attraction for him. A man who’s comfortable in his own skin, and who loves and values himself, will actually get the feeling of satisfaction and being proud that his woman is so desirable to other men, but yet she belongs to him. If you give your woman the freedom to come and go as she pleases, and don’t come totally unglued and lose it when you see other guys hitting on her, or she shares stories of other guys hitting on her, she will never leave your side. She will also happily tell you about the attention she’s getting because she wants you to know how special you are, and how loyal she is to you. Plus, you’ll have some good laughs over the bad pickup artists that predictably crash and burn when they try in vain to rip off your girl. The reality is, if your woman wants to cheat, she’s going to cheat, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Weak, insecure, and disloyal women cheat. Strong, confident, loyal, and healthy women communicate like adults to work things out when their needs aren’t being met, or they are unhappy.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne