Why focusing on becoming a better version of yourself after a breakup will help you move on, become more attractive to members of the opposite sex and put yourself in the best possible position to help you re-attract your ex and get a second chance.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who describes what he did, after finding my work, to get a second chance with his ex who had blocked him on all social media after she dumped him. He says he got rejected, because he became needy and weak to the point that his ex blocked and booted him from her life.
After the breakup, he got a personal trainer and lost twenty-six pounds in a month and a half. She then sent him a friend request on social media and he started implementing the principles he was learning in my book. At first, she gave him wishy-washy answers when he tried to set a date. She continued to reach out, and he was able to set a date on the second attempt. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
My name is Bob, and back in February of this year, I was dumped by my long distance ex-girlfriend that lives in Colombia. I’m writing this email as a success story because, by following your work as closely as applicable to my situation, I have successfully received a second chance with her. (The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. After a breakup, it’s best to focus on yourself and get back to the place of having a kick-ass time being single.) Like many of us that find your work, I was originally dumped because of my weak, needy behavior. I was, specifically, too focused on the future, relationship titles, and trying to marry her so that she could live here with me. After she dumped me, she blocked me on everything. That made it easy for me to not beg or chase her before I knew your work. It was about a week after the breakup that I found your work. After that, I made sure to not initiate any conversations with her once she added me back on Facebook a month later. (As I discuss in my article and video, “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back,” you should wait to hear from her and when you do, make dates. If she’s the one who ended things, she’s got to make the effort to win you back.)
Immediately after the breakup, I signed up for personal training and lost 26 pounds in about a month and a half. (That’s a lot of weight dude. Congratulations. That tells me you’re serious. If you love and value yourself, you will take good care of your body. People who look better and feel better, are more attractive.) It was shortly after this that she began to reach out to me rarely and put herself into my orbit. Over the course of about three months, she initiated four conversations with me and liked some Facebook posts/pictures. (That’s not a lot. She wasn’t making much of an effort.) She began each conversation with something like, “I just wanted to say how good you look in your new photos!” (When a woman comments on your appearance, that means she likes the way you look physically, and she’s finding herself attracted to you.) Anyway, I tried once to set up a phone call to make that be like a date, since we are long distance, but she gave me wishy-washy behavior and couldn’t commit to a time. (When that happens, just withdraw the offer. Tell her to figure out her schedule and get in touch with you.) However, a week ago, she reached out, and on the second attempt, I was able to make definite plans with her. Also, after doing so, she said something very direct. She said, “I hope to be able to see you again someday.” I told her I’d love to see her again too, and that we’d talk about it on the phone when I call her later. When I called, I stated what I wanted, that I want to see her, but that I’m not interested in only friendship. (That’s good. You’re spelling out your terms.) I told her that I’d like to have a great time with her, have something special, but not worry about being exclusive or relationship titles. (This gives her the ability to come and go as she pleases. That way, she won’t feel like she’s losing her freedom, and it gives her time for her feelings to grow.) She told me that she was thrilled that my perspective had changed so much, and that she agreed completely with this approach and wants to give it a shot! I will be seeing her next month for a little over a week! (She should be coming to see you since she’s the one who rejected you.)
I would really like to emphasize that personal training at the gym and dating other women, even though it was really hard for me to do, made all the difference to help me feel confident while dealing with her hot/cold behavior. (The ideal situation is to have other options. Now you have choice with women, and you have all the power.) I’m now a confident, good-looking guy, and I no longer have a scarcity mentality. Thanks for changing my life, coach! (Great job. Now she has to earn you back. That’s the superior way to go.)
P.S. I read the book 4 times. Working on more readings!
“The best thing you can do to recover from a breakup, make yourself more attractive to members of the opposite sex, so you can get some new romantic options, and put yourself into the best possible position to re-attract your ex, is to focus on becoming a better version of yourself. That means taking care of your body, re-connecting with friends, hobbies and interests you may have neglected during your relationship, and focusing on making yourself happy and enjoying being single. It’s best to start new relationships, or potentially rekindle old ones, when you are happy, fulfilled and enjoying being by yourself. Two people come together to share their completeness, not to complete each other.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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