Why being able to walk away, lose a woman to another man and be emotionally unaffected when you learn that a woman who you just started dating, is also dating other men, will cause her to pursue and want you more instead of less.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who worries that being aloof and unbothered when women he’s dating are also dating other men will cause them to see him as a back up plan only.
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TJ says
Hey Coach Wayne. I’m having trouble getting back with my ex. I never really treated her right . We were together for two years. She was never happy in the relationship but didn’t care because she loved me. We broke up in April right before our two year anniversary, I was devastated. I smothered her for about three weeks begging and pleading to her. Until she finally had enough, so I left her alone. Within a week she started to miss me and we decided to get back together. She tells me she misses me as her boyfriend and misses being with me , I changed for her , but her guard is completely up and has so much resentment towards me. She told me she’s still in love with me but then she told me she doesn’t know if she is afterwards, she said the relationship is just boring and she’s unhappy & we constantly have nothing to talk about, but she still has a lot of love for me. I kept pursuing her which is what ruined it, Everytime she missed me I would agree to hang out with her. She’s not the same person, she’s emotionally drained and not ready for a relationship and scared to come back to me, my question is why does she want to keep me as a friend when were still in love with each other? But my fear is she’s mad at me right now and getting comfortable without talking to me and does not miss me at all but I miss her like crazy. She wants her space and time until she’s ready to talk to me, when she’s mad at me she doesn’t miss me until she’s over it. She said this time even if she misses me she won’t rush back into a relationship. I asked her why are you holding onto me, what’s my value? Why am I so important? She just doesn’t want to let go of me & I’m doing my best to make up for my past mistakes by being as nice as possible to her to train myself in case we do get back together. She gets jealous still and gets so mad at me and the way I get to her she feels it isn’t healthy so she’s working on not sweating me and what I do. How do I get her back? Please help me re-attract her, right now I’m giving her time and space without being needy.