How to vibrationally align your life, peer group and circumstances by being open to new possibilities, so you can create the life and lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of, even if you just moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who did a great job of creating the perfect work/life balance over the past year in the city where he grew up. He had great friends, a great casual sex partner and a great life, full of like-minded people. However, five months ago he moved to a new city for a year long cooperative education contract. He says he has really struggled to make new friends and create the same kind of work/life balance he had back home. He feels lonely and claims everything he did that got results in his old city is not working in his new city where he does not know anyone. He says everyone he talks to where he lives now thinks people are cliquey, standoffish and unfriendly. He has become incredibly impatient things are not going as well as he wants and asks my opinion. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
I want to express my gratitude for the work that you are doing to help others. Thank-you. I am 23 and have been following your work for roughly a year, but have not made relationships a high priority in my life until now, since I have been keenly focused on my schooling and aligning with my purpose. (That’s really the first step. If you put your mission and purpose first and foremost in your life, then everything else will conform around that, including your peer group and the women you date.) Reading the book 15 times is my first priority now. (You need to read the book 10-15 times.) Last year, however, I managed to create the perfect work/life balance for me with incredible friends and an awesome casual sex partner using your material. (You had been living in that city all of your life. You had over 20 years developing a life in that city. You won’t be able to create that same kind of energy in a new city in just five months.) Everything was well until this past school year ended in April. I moved to a new city for a one-year co-operative education contract, leaving all of my friends, my family and my lover behind. They are 8 hours and an expensive ferry trip away. I feel as though I have lost my support system. I keep in touch with family regularly, but not as often with my old friends. I have tried the same social behavior that I used previously, which created my ideal work/life balance, but to no avail. (You’re having to build everything from scratch. You don’t realize the momentum you had previously in your old life where you used to live.) I consistently find that everyone my age in this city is immature, superficial, non-growth oriented, stuck in their unconscious patterns and unsupportive. (This is your model of the world. This is the story you tell yourself in order to rationalize why things aren’t going as well in the new city as they did in the old city, but you can’t expect to establish the same kinds of friendships in five months. You have to see who makes the effort through the years.) They are 97 percenters and simply are not the quality of people that I want in my life. (The reality is, you just don’t see all the work you have put into your life and social circle.) They hold me back and bring me down. I want to have people in my life that are excited to be a part of it and vice versa. (It takes time to do that. You have to become a person of value. Focus on the outcome you want.)
I am told that I talk like an old man for my age and seem to click well with the odd 35-50-year-old, but it does not seem to go past acquaintances. It is hard being an old soul trying to relate to people my own age. I have done the things you have described in previous video newsletters, such as going to the mall, finding like-minded groups and focusing on making my life awesome. (You’re upset the quick fix hasn’t happened, and you’re not getting the instant gratification you expected. However, you aren’t seeing your old life and old city for what it really was. You see it as better than what it was. You need to see your current situation for what it is.) This has given me some great results, but has not yielded any friends or relationships. (That’s okay. You’re only going to be in this city for a year.) Most of the things that I am truly passionate about are things that I do alone and thus do not create a medium for others to become a part of. Since I am introverted, I love being alone, as it is a great time for me to rejuvenate, but after five months of this, loneliness is setting in. (You’re becoming impatient and attached to unrealistic time frames. It’s impossible to recreate in your new city, in five months, what took you 23 years in your old city to build.) I have tried bringing these into more social places, for instance playing music in the public, doing archery at a range, hiking in groups. Yet still nothing. Everyone I talk to says this city is very cliquey and very difficult to make friends. (That’s just the story you’re telling yourself. You’re being unrealistic in your expectations. The feelings and emotions you’re putting out into the world are causing the universe to conform to that. Instead of being focused on what’s missing in your life, be grateful for what you have and focus on your outcome of becoming awesome and creating a great social circle.)
In terms of relationships, my only struggles are in initially sparking attraction and finding partners I am genuinely interested in. (You’re giving off the vibe that you can’t find any like-minded people. You need to align yourself vibrationally to being open to meet somebody. The goal is to become a person of value, so you attract the kind of person you want in your life.) Whenever chemistry/attraction is present and palpable, however, I can take the relationship anywhere I desire. (Focus on creating the life and lifestyle that you want and getting as much practice as you can.) I feel that I have taken myself as far as I can go, and now I need to enlist some assistance. Any advice is appreciated, though brutal honesty would be best. (Make the best of it and take advantage of every interaction you have. Focus on your outcome, and be okay with the fact that you’re single and haven’t met anyone really great. You’re only in this city for a short period of time, and then you’re gone. Remember, it takes the universe a long time to make things happen in your life the way you want, and you have to continually move towards what you want, no matter how long it takes.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The universe aligns your life circumstances and the people who are in your life based upon your intentions, feelings, actions and outcomes. Therefore, you must align your thoughts, words and deeds with the highest and most emotionally compelling vision you have for your life. In order for what you want to manifest in your life easily and effortlessly, you must first create a space for what you want. Like attracts like. You can’t park your car in a parking lot unless the parking lot has an empty space. By moving with a purpose towards what you want, craving what you want, having an emotionally compelling vision of what you want and being infinitely patient that what you want will eventually happen slowly over time, you will vibrationally align with your desires, and therefore, the universe will conspire with you to make it happen.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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