Being The Rebound Lover

Apr 15, 2014 by Coach Corey Wayne

Photo by iStock.com/GeorgeRudy
Some things to consider when you get involved romantically with someone who just broke up with their significant other so you give yourself the best possible chance that they stick around, instead of blowing you off to go back to their ex.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who got involved in a week long rebound relationship with a woman who had broken up with her long term boyfriend only a week before they met. They had sex on their first date and were together almost every day. She did almost all of the pursuing. It looked like the beginning of a beautiful love story. Her ex boyfriend had cheated on her which had led to their breakup.

The viewer did everything right on their first date and right up until she brought up the fact that her ex boyfriend had called telling her that he missed her. Due to his own irrational fears, he literally dumped himself and pushed her right back into the arms of her ex.

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“If you get involved with someone romantically who is on the rebound, the most important thing you must do is to make sure you maintain their sense of freedom. In most cases their feelings and emotions will be raw and they will be hot for you one minute, and then indecisive about you the next. They will have a stronger emotional bond with their ex because of the time they have spent together. If you try to force them to choose, they almost always will choose their ex over you. But if you have a take it or leave it kind of attitude and are simply grateful for your time together, you will give yourself the best possible chance that they eventually choose you. The only thing you can do is to be their best option, have fun and let them go back to their ex if they want, but leave the door open for them to return if things don’t work out with their ex. If it did not work the first time around with their ex, it most likely will not work the second time around.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Published on April 15, 2014

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hello i am hoping to get your insight on my situation. I recently was introduced to a woman who was going thru a divorce and separated from her husband of 10yrs for about 8 months. She friended me on facebook thru a mutal friends recommendations.
    Well we talked about ourselves and what we liked, you know regular ice breaking conversations. This was the day before valentine 2014, we had set a date for the following Tuesday. We went bowling, had a few beers and laughs. I could tell she was having a good time and so was i. I wasn’t expecting more than a date..
    I was happy to just get her attention. Anyway the date ends and its cold out. I give her a hug and we get done hugging and she immediately kisses me! I was like nice this is cool. We live not even a tenth a mile away from each other. Before i get home she sent me a text saying your lips are so soft! i responded with the same.
    We start texting and seeing each other more, she and I both express how we cant stop thinking about each other. About ten days after our first date we had become intimate with each other at my place.. anyway this happened more often. I enjoy being with her and she is all i think about. She is very busy with the lawyers and divorce and will be graduating to become an RN in may, and has kids. So i knew she was very busy, which i expressed that i didn’t wanna interfere with her things she had going on. we both expressed our feelings about each other. They were mutal. Well anyway her friend i met even said oh she really likes you.. that gave me even more confidence. Well then all of a sudden last week she says she doesn’t feel the same, meaning she loves me but not in love with me and not sure of herself and if she ready for a relationship. so im devastated and talk for few minutes and leave. i felt even more hurt cuz a few days prior i went to get my phone and her phone was laying next to mine i see a text come up from another guy. So anyway i blew it off. its been a week since our i guess breakup..she wanted to come over to bring me my stuff i left there, 6 pack beer and coffee cup and a movie. She comes over and we look at each other and i can feel all kinds of crazy stuff going on inside me. We give each other a hug and i asked if she wants to sit and talk. She agrees, any way i suggest that we kiss and she said it wouldn’t be right , be she leans in slowly and i meet her. and it feel great! it was just few seconds later and we were caressing each other and i was touching her face and hair, biting her neck and it just felt good. Well we both had to leave at a certain time and that time was up. So we leave and before we leave we give a long like seemed like 5 minute gripping embrace. We both leave and wave she said ill see you later. i wish her a good day. Now not following my friends advise i text her later that night with just a simple it was good to see you today. She reponds with It was nice to see you to with a blushing smiley face at the end and i gave her one back. Its not the next morning and i haven’t text anything. I know she has a lot on her plate and might be confused i don’t know. She says she loves me, i make her feel beautiful,hopefull, and great and her kids like me. So i don’t know what i should do. Do i just leave it at that? Do i give her a few days and text her. Im afraid that us being in 2 different stages but having feelings for each other will be complicating for her. Thank you

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