In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who says he has read my book six times and watched countless videos over the past six weeks. He had a first date with a woman about three weeks ago that went really well, or so he thought. They kissed at the end of the date. He called her four days later to set the next date, but she said she would have to let him know. She actually got in touch with him five days later, and he set the second date.
On the day of the date, she canceled for a supposed family issue, but she asked to reschedule. He did reschedule the date for several days later after she told him her schedule was wide open. Then she texted him only a few hours before their date to cancel once again, because she was on her way to the beach. He told her to get in touch with him once she figured out her schedule. He wonders if he should even give her another chance if she gets in touch with him again to reschedule. He asks what I would do. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I came across your book and YouTube channel about six weeks ago. Since then, I have read your book 6 times and have watched countless videos. (Good job. You must participate in your own rescue. Successful people take action. Unsuccessful people make excuses.) I am more confident than ever regarding my dating life, so I thank you very much. I was blown off pretty badly today, and I wanted to know if I responded correctly, and if I should even respond to this girl if I ever hear from her again.
Three weeks ago, I went on a first date. We had fun, and I kissed her at the end of the date, no cheek! Four days later, I called her and asked when she was free to get together. She texted me and told me, “I’ll have to let you know,” and I said, “Sounds good!” I assumed that I would never hear from her again. (Yeah, that response sounds like a blow-off.) Five days later, she texted me and said her week was super busy that prior week. I set up a date with her for the following week. On the day of the date, she texted me and said she had to cancel because of a family issue, but she asked to reschedule. (The good news is she brought up rescheduling.) She said she was free all of the next week, so we scheduled a date for the next Tuesday, which is today. Well, this afternoon at about 3 pm, I got a message saying, “You are never going to want to talk to me again,” followed by some text gibberish. She said she was stuck in traffic, and I assumed she meant she was on her way back to town and would be late. She clarified and said, “No, I meant I am on my way to the beach.” I responded with, “Oh, I didn’t fully understand your original message. I’d like to see you again, but your schedule seems a bit up in the air, so when you get it nailed down, give me a call or text.” She said, “Yeah I’m sorry. I’m kind of all over the country right now”, to which I replied, “Stop and get a map! I’ve got to run, TTYL.” (That was a good comeback.)
Because this was the second cancellation, I put the ball in her court to let me know when she figures out her schedule, (That’s the proper response), and I won’t be bringing up getting together if she ever contacts me. (I wouldn’t. I would respond “Got to run, keep in touch.” She’ll either bring up getting together or she’ll stop contacting you.) I’m not sure I should have even told her to reach out to me again, given that a beach trip was 99.9% NOT a last minute option to her, and that she let me know she had to cancel while she was on her way. (That’s a pretty shitty thing to do. Quite frankly, I would flush her phone number.) Would you even bother with this girl, even if she did reach back out and suggest getting together? (No fucking way. Personally, I would have told her that was rude and classless and she could have given you a day’s notice. However, you could also reschedule the date if she reaches out to you, but she should come to your place. I wouldn’t make the effort to take her out.)
Thank you for what you do!
“When people place a high value on you, your time and what you have to offer, they will keep their appointments with you and be on time. When they don’t, they will blow you off, reschedule at the last minute for BS reasons and generally jerk you around and make you feel like they don’t care. The reality is, they don’t care. You deserve someone who would jump fences to be with you, not someone who is sitting on the fence about you. You should not be willing to cross an ocean for someone who wouldn’t even jump a puddle to be with you. Never give your time, or continue trying to give your time, to people who don’t appreciate you. Have some self-respect, and move on. Better will come.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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