Breaking Up, Making Up & Moving On To Someone Better

How to get over a bad breakup and move on to someone better.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a guy who has read 3% Man 10 times and watched thousands of my videos. He shares what led him to my work in 2018 and the relationship that ultimately didn’t work out and how this prepared him for the amazing relationship he has now. They’ve been together for one year and he is happier than ever.

It’s been a long road for him and he hopes to inspire others to reach their full relationship potential with his success story. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So I got a success story from a guy who’s been following me for about I guess, six years now, since 2018. You could tell his journey is a long journey. When he first came across my work, he was involved with somebody else. He was trying to save that relationship. He kept it together for a lot of years. Then they broke up about a year and a half ago, and he was single for about four months. He was excited to be out of that relationship. Then he met his current girlfriend, which he said is the best relationship he’s ever had and she’s got the nicest body of any woman he’s ever been with.

For those of you that may be struggling with a breakup or crying the blues or feeling bad about what you used to have, here’s a guy that his journey was a six year journey, and he shares it just to inspire anybody that’s still suffering like he once was. That eventually, on a long enough timeline, things are going to turn around. You just have to keep moving forward.

That’s the hard thing about life and being a man, is just always moving forward, especially when things aren’t working out and they don’t look like they ever will work out. You got to just keep grinding and you got to keep pushing yourself. Eventually, we’re all going to run out of time and we’re going to die. So if you’re still alive, you’re still watching this, it means you’re not dead yet. It means you got time to make your life the way you want it to be before your dirt nap.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

First of all, I wanna thank you for all you do and the way you put things really help us have a better understanding about our reactions and the way things should be done on a proper way. I have read the book at least around 10 times, and I truly believe I have seen at least 2,000 of your videos, I binge watch them even when I’m good.

Well, that’s why when you look at great athletes, it’s like they’re always reviewing and focused on the fundamentals, because success is a process. Relationships are a process. You have to be disciplined and you have to commit to the process of having successful relationships, just like you have to commit to the process of taking care of your body, exercising properly, controlling your diet, doing your cardio, and being disciplined in order to have the body and the physique that you want.

If you’re a business owner, there are certain things you have to do as a business owner to make the business work and continuously be profitable. If you’re in the corporate world, there is a process to going to work during your work week and doing the things that you need to do in order to be successful and continue to climb the corporate ladder. So being successful is the result of committing to a process.

I started following you in 2018, after a two year relationship went down. I was being insecure, not centered and that made her have an emotional affair with a guy from another country which fortunately I caught. Fortunately, it was the best it could have happen because it lead me to your work.

I started following the principles. I never had problems with women at all, unless I loved them! Then the trouble started.

Yeah, that’s what happens when you care about them. You have something to lose versus when you don’t really give a shit one way or another. It’s like you do everything right. You’re completely indifferent. You’re happy that they’re there, but you’re also OK if they’re not, but when you really care and you fear losing them, you do things and your actions are driven by fear of losing them. So then everything comes across as being forceful, controlling, needy and insecure, and that makes you look incredibly unattractive because, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

I am a 29-year-old guy, I am a tennis semi-professional and I also work in sales for over 10 years and I’m pretty successful at what I do. I go to the gym everyday for over 10 years and I know I’m good looking because of the woman I got to be with. Also, I’m 10 years into my sales profession, which that helped me a lot with women and communication.

Yeah, guys that have a sales background do really well with my book. If you’re in sales and you study the art of sales and you master the art of sales, it’s really about creating rapport and making them see you not as a sales person, but as a friend and a trusted advisor and somebody that they already know.

After applying your principles, I got back together with her for another two years and I was different. We were long distance since she decided to go to the UK and I was in Portugal.

After two years, she decided to break up with me out of nowhere. This time, I was different. In 10 minutes, I told her, “No problem.” I wished her the best and to call me if she changed her mind. However, in my head, I was super excited because I knew she was not what I wanted. This was in March 2023. After four months, I ended up meeting the girl I am with now for a year almost, and she is probably one of the most beautiful girls and the hottest body I have ever been with.

Long story short: 

I am with her. I applied all your principles since the beginning. She started texting me everyday and I told her there was no need for us to talk every day and she respected it.

Yeah, especially if a woman comes off as being a little needy and insecure, and it kind of seems like she pesters you, especially if she gets upset that you don’t respond as timely as she would like, sometimes you got to set some healthy boundaries. Say, “I’m in and out of meetings. I just can’t stop what I’m doing,” or “I can’t be involved in a text conversation all throughout the day. I just got too many things going on while I’m at work,” and because she liked him and he acted like a man, she respected the boundary.

We traveled a lot this year, I met her parents, she met mine. We are deeply in love and although I had like a three-week phase were I was weak and being bitch about some insecurities (Which I think it’s normal sometimes)…

Well, once you really overcome it and you’ve been with her long enough, you’re not going to feel any insecurities about being with a woman ever again. After my relationship with my English girlfriend, I felt unstoppable. I felt like I could walk through a wall. It’s like her and my girlfriend before that that had the daughter, those were the two life changing, paradigm shifting relationships in my life.

…I got back to your book mentally and just re-centered and got back to me because I knew what I was doing wrong.

So basically for every guy out there, it takes time, it takes discipline, but the principles in the book are GOLD.

Well, as Jocko Willink says, “Discipline equals freedom.” So when you’re applying the things that are in the book consistently, you’re going to get consistent results. Since you know the book backwards and forwards, when you’ve read it 10 to 15 times, that’s what gives you a sense of peace. When you’re in a calm place, a peaceful and relaxed state, that’s when you make the best decisions versus being in a fearful, negative state, because then all of your decisions come from a place of fear. What usually are the results of actions taken from a place of fear is to bring about more circumstances that cause you to be fearful. That’s why guys oftentimes get into a downward spiral, kind of like a flat spin, if you will. Any of you guys that are pilots understand what a flat spin is. You just can’t get out of it.

I am happier than ever and I truly know what to do in almost every situation. I love my girl and she loves me.

Bob

Isn’t that nice? What a nice way to end Friday with a nice success story!

This dude’s journey was six whole years! He spent the majority of the four and a half years in a relationship with a woman that didn’t really serve him anymore, and once it ended, he wasn’t bummed. He was excited. He was like, “I’m a free agent. This is great. Now I can get what I really want,” and look what happened. He was ready. He was ready for it, and the perfect girl just slid right into his life. It’s like, when I met my English girlfriend, I was ready for that kind of a relationship. It was so easy and so effortless. That’s why even almost 20 years later, we’re still close. We still have a lot of respect for each other.

If you guys saw the videos that we did with her when she came to visit last year, those are also in the Members Area. We did two podcasts with her, and you guys asked a ton of questions about us and our relationship and everything that’s gone on since then. That’s a gift. It’s a gift to have somebody like that that comes into your life and changes your life and makes you feel so good. You never, ever really doubt yourself again, especially when it comes to relationships and women. In this case, this guy’s been with this girl for a little over a year now. So the longer he’s with her, repetition being the mother of skill, this is his new paradigm. Things being good is his new paradigm, and because of that, his standards are higher and what he used to tolerate in the past, he won’t tolerate anymore.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page on my website, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.