How taking baby steps and incrementally challenging yourself with what currently terrifies you by taking action in spite of your fears, can build your confidence with little achievable goals so that in a few weeks or months, you can go from being terrified of women, potential employers, talking to people, etc., to easily and effortlessly being able to approach anyone, anytime, anyplace and anywhere to ask for what you want and deserve without fear.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for about six months since the end of his eight year relationship. Initially he was very intimidated by women and scared of talking with them in order to meet someone else. He did not know where to start or how to attract someone new. Gradually as he challenged himself and took small incremental action towards what he was afraid of, he started to grow his confidence.
He started going out on dates with many different women. Some women were really into him, but he was not into them. Some women he was really into, but they weren’t into him. Some women he clicked with and some he did not. He hooked up with some of those who he clicked with. Then recently he met a woman who blew him away. He says she is an eleven on a scale of one to ten in his eyes. They are a three hour plane ride apart from one another. Things are going well, but he talks about how he is flying to her town unannounced to surprise her with an unscheduled visit… not a good idea for someone who he just started dating. I discuss why he should slow his roll or he might creep her out and scare her away.
“No one is born with fearless confidence. Confidence is doing what you know how to do and doing it really well. We tend to overlook what successful and confident people did to become so successful and confident, and assume that they were born this way. Every successful professional athlete, CEO, entrepreneur, superstar employee, etc., got that way by taking action in spite of their fears, and by accepting and embracing the fact that success only comes from trying, failing and learning from your failures. The way to become great at anything in life is to consistently rehearse and practice something you would love to become great at. Successful people are evidence that time, practice and repetition eventually pays off; not that you can’t do it too without the same effort, passion, focus and dedication.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne