Can You Ever Really Trust What A Woman Says About Her Male “Friends” & Orbiters?

Why you should always vet and verify what a woman says and does to determine her character & trustworthiness.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is dating a woman who speaks in hyperbole, hints and innuendo. She has a lot of male friends and orbiters who obviously want her romantically. Over time he has caught her in several half truths and lying by omission about these other men. It’s a really good email to see how hard and difficult it can be to vet and verify the true nature and character of women you are dating. Low character women will lie, deflect and misrepresent people and events in their lives to make themselves look like better people than they really are. This is why you can’t allow yourself to get drunk on your emotions in the early stages of dating. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “Can You Ever Really Trust What A Woman Says About Her Male Friends & Orbiters?”

Well, this email is gonna be a classic. It just goes to show, like when you’re in the vetting process, and you’re trying to determine, “What is this girl’s character like? Is she going to be honest and loyal and faithful? Or “Is she insecure, lying, and probably just going to be a little selfish and narcissistic?” Well, you’re in luck, because like, several things happen with this guy. He’s been dating this girl from Colombia, who’s really hot. Very fiery Latina, as he says.

And so, it’s like most of the people that she knows seem to be guys. In other words, she’s got male friends. There’s a lot of dudes in her group. And so, she’s like, “Oh, we’re, you know, this guy’s only strictly a friend. We just go to concerts together. There are other girls that go, “It’s like a big group thing.” And he’s like, “If you guys ever been romantically involved and dated, and, you know, or hooked up?” And she’s like, “Oh, no, that never happened.”

And he’s like, she’s like, “You can even look through my phone.” So, he looks through the phone, doesn’t really, you know, he sees a few things. Obviously, he can tell that the dude’s interested in her. And then he goes and looks through the pictures. I guess they were part of the chat. I guess some of the history had been deleted. And he looks at the pictures and there’s one of this guy sucking on her tit.

And he’s like, “I thought you said nothing happened.” She’s like, “Oh, well, I was hammered and really drunk. So that was that doesn’t count.” So, this is just classic. Because women tend to speak in hyperbole. Women that come from a good family, are just not going to be doing it. They’re not going to be displaying this kind of behavior.

But other girls, you got to be concerned about, that are more for fun, fuck buddy, friends with benefits, and you know, that kind of thing. You don’t wife them up. You don’t date them seriously. You know, it’s like you got to be able to determine. There are girls that are for fun and hooking up, and then there’s girls for relationships. And way too many guys, especially the Red Pill Dudes, confuse both of them.

And then they just get bitter and say, “All women suck. It’s modern women.” I was like, “No, you’re a shitty judge of character. And on top of that, you keep dating and attracting the same kind of people.” If you keep dating and attracting the same kind of people over and over, the problem is you. The problem is where you are fishing.

Viewer’s Email:

Hello Coach,

I ran into a situation with this girl I recently started dating. While searching through YouTube, I found your work, and have already purchased your book. I am a new follower and look forward to becoming a 3% Man to have more success in dating. There is a lot to this story, so I’ll give you the important details only. The girl I’m currently dating is a 10. A super attractive, fiery Colombian.

She’s 23, I’m 25. We have been on many dates in just over a month, and each date, things seem to be going great, until recently. I found out that she has a lot of male friends, or male orbiters as you stated in previous video newsletters.

Yeah. Family oriented girls are not going to have exclusively male dudes as their friends. That’s just a fact of life. Typically, girls that come from broken homes where there was lying, there was cheating. There was no daddy involved. Usually it’s the girls with no daddy, daddy issues, or a bad relationship with their dad. Since they didn’t get enough attention from a strong, masculine presence growing up, they don’t know which guys to trust.

And so, they tend to constantly seek validation and attention from other men, because they didn’t get enough and they weren’t taught how to seek it in a healthy way. And so, they typically have a lot of Frankenstein Boyfriend Projects going on, where there’s just lots of guys that are just “friends.” These are guys that wanted to date and sleep with them, or may have already dated and sleep with them that they keep in the background, because they like the attention.

Plus, if something doesn’t go well with a current guy they’re dating, they can always hook up with some dude in the past. In other words, they got a lot of fans. And they’re all happy to sit in and back up plan mode until you screw up, in essence. Because they think then they’re going to really get a chance.

This for some reason, bothers me.

Yeah, because it’s just not natural. And if you’re going to be in a relationship and be exclusive and commit to a woman and live with her and all those things, whether it’s married, or you just live together, or you just are in an exclusive relationship. And most of the friends, she doesn’t have any female friends, she only has mostly exclusively male friends, yeah.

No guy’s going to want that. It’s like, you’re not going to want your girlfriend or your wife to be going out and partying, going to clubs, going and having drinks one on one with her boss, or you know, other single guys in the office, one on one, late at night. A lady doesn’t do those things. A woman who’s loyal and faithful and family oriented just doesn’t do those things.

Party girls, hook up girls, they do those things. And you can have a lot of fun with them as a guy until you find somebody that’s a good candidate for a relationship. But it’s like you can’t confuse the two or you’re going to get burned.

She has assured me.

That’s what we would call in Real Estate a Kentucky Guarantee.

She has assured me that most of the friends.

Most of them that is.

Are just platonic.

Well, they’re just platonic until they’re not.

They are part of her group that go to music shows together.

Supposedly.

They have been friends and have been going out for years prior to me meeting her. The ones that aren’t platonic, she said would not respond back to when they text, now that we are talking. Those she doesn’t hang out with anyway.

So she says.

This is the kicker. One of her male friends FaceTimed her, talking about plans for a music show they always attend as a group.

Well, were you invited to go to the music show? That’s very telling. If you’re really important to her, she, of course, is going to invite you to something like that. If you’re not that important to her and you’re just one of the guys that she’s dating or hooking up with, then yeah, she’s not going to invite you to the music show. That just tells you that you’re not that important to her.

Multiple guys and girls are part of it. She turned her phone to show him me. This guy knows we are together. I asked who that was when she hung up, and she he told me his name and how he’s a friend that’s apart of said group. A little more than half jokingly, I asked if they ever hooked up and she said, “No you can go through my phone, it’s not like that.”

So, I went through the messages they had together. I saw the recent messages of them talking about music, and her telling him that she’s just there to help him meet new people, basically rejecting anything serious or sexually.

So, he’s not saying, “Hey, are you coming to this concert?” He’s like, “Hey, are you coming to this concert? So maybe, hopefully I can beat up your pelvis later.” That’s what the real reason he’s reaching out. He’s not like, “Hey, we’re pals, come to this concert.” He wants to give her the Flesh Rocket.

He said something like, “You’re being weird.” And her response was dry and friend like. Then, however, I decided to go through the text message pictures that were sent.

Aha! She was a little sloppy in her deletion history.

I found a couple pictures. One of his dong.

Remember, she’s just, Oh, it’s not like that!

Her excuse was I didn’t ask for that.

You didn’t ask. You didn’t ask if I got any dick pictures. Ah, I wasn’t lying. She was just lying through omission. It’s not like that.

And two of him sucking her breast.

You didn’t ask for the breast picture.

Her excuse was she was hammered drunk and didn’t even know that was sent.

Sure. Sure. That’s what the late, Great Doc Love would have called a whopper. That is a whopper. You got told a whopper.

I was livid.

It just means she’s a liar. What are you gonna do? It’s called hyperbole. It’s like the quality of your relationship is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions that you ask each other. So you asked good quality questions. You kept digging. She didn’t give the answer. You felt something was off.

You kept looking through the phone and bingo. You found something that she did not delete. So, she didn’t do a very good job of covering her tracks. She’s kind of sloppy. She just figured you’d go through the messages, and you wouldn’t bother looking anywhere else.

She told me that was months ago.

Oh. It’s so long ago. Just a few months. It’s just long. Ancient history.

She stayed at his house often for no real good reason and they hooked up only three times.

Only three times? It’s not like that. It wasn’t like that. It was just three times. Okay, well, it was like that, but it was only three times, so it really didn’t count.

She told me all three times she had to get drunk, because she wouldn’t get turned on with him, unless she was.

Okay. Sure. I totally believe that.

The first time she was sloppy can’t walk drunk, and the other two times they had drinks and hooked up.

Well, did she consent properly to that first time if she doesn’t remember it?

Apparently, she even made the guy cry because he realized she would only hook up with him when she was drunk.

Sure.

This whole weird intimate deal was roughly five months ago. Way before I even knew this girl.

Well. Character is destiny. You’re vetting this girl to determine whether or not she’s truthful. “Can I trust what she’s saying? Can I trust that she’ll be loyal and faithful?” Well, obviously, from this one example, no. Duh! Guys that don’t know any better, or they’re delusional, we’ll accept this and go, “Okay, well, this is a one off one time thing.” It’s like as Maya Angelou said, “When somebody shows you or tells you who they are, believe them the first time.”

She just told you she’s a liar and she’ll lie right to your face. That’s it. She’s disqualified. She’s not girlfriend material. You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. Guys will stick around because they like the pussy and think “I’m going to fix her. I got Corey’s Book. I can fix her.” Like, “No you can’t.”

This Book is for good women, this will bounce the bad women out of your life. And so, all the red flags have been exposed. And the only reason that she admitted this stuff to you is because you saw pictures. Otherwise, she would have been happy to let you live and think that the lie was accurate. That’s not something a good woman who’s good to you, good for you, good for your soul, that’s family oriented, and that believes in loyalty, faithfulness and monogamy would do.

He’ll say she’s narcissistic. She’s messed up, comes from a dysfunctional household, obviously. And most guys, because they’re so needy and desperate, will put up with this shit. Men who have choices and options and are family oriented will be like, “I’m out.”

From the more recent texts, (she’s willing and open to show me) and the consistent annoying conversations we keep having about this guy, it actually seems like she wants nothing to do with him in that regard.

Yeah, until she does. But she hasn’t blocked him. She hasn’t said, “Hey, I’m dating somebody. Stop sending me these pictures. Leave me the fuck alone.” She’s not doing any of that. She’s not telling them, “No.” She’s giving them the green light because she likes his attention.

She sees him as just a friend in the friend group and he has been just that for months.

But she lied to you about everything. She’s making excuses and giving you a story and giving you things that sound logical. But she lied to your face multiple occasions. That’s it. Trust is the hardest thing to get, and the easiest thing to lose.

And she just showed you over and over and over again she’s not trustworthy. That’s it. She’s a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate, that’s it. And I would always wear a condom with a girl like this. You can’t believe anything she says. She is a known habitual liar.

Especially now that we’re dating, and he knows about me. Her face and her tone express that she is disgusted.

She’s probably a good actress.

She tells me she regrets it.

Sure she does. Does she regret lying to you? No. She only regrets that you caught her in the lie.

She tells me she regrets it doesn’t count him as a body.

You see, even though she had sex with him three times. “Oh, that doesn’t count.” And this is why guys say that when a woman tells you your body count, or how many dudes she slept with, you multiply it by three.

Because it’s like, “Oh, well, it wasn’t really a relationship, it was just sex. And she was drunk. And so, since she was drunk and doesn’t remember it, it doesn’t count as a body. It just happened. It just happened. I was totally asleep.”

And wants nobody to know about that. She hates talking about it, just as much as I do.

No, she hates the fact that you know that she lied.

But I cannot seem to get it out of my head. I feel awkward about the whole situation.

Dude, you’re in a relationship with a liar. She’s not going to be loyal and faithful to you, Dude. You can’t believe anything this woman says. And if you do, you’re an idiot. Sorry. But somebody’s got to wake you the fuck up.

The music show her whole group is attending is coming up, and she invited me to go, which I appreciate.

Well, that’s a good sign.

Obviously, he will be there. Is it wrong for me to feel uncomfortable or am I being insecure about her past?

Well, if you really want to go to the music show, go to the music show. But do you want to go to a music show with a bunch of dudes probably half of them she’s had sex with. And the other half are hoping that eventually she’ll have sex with them.

These are not like lifelong friends and they’re just platonic. Or these are the boyfriends of other girlfriends of hers. It’s like a group of her male orbiters that she’s getting together. It’s like her fan club.

Should I see it as I’m dating her, and I’m not worried about that guy?

It’s like, dude, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her.

How should I handle this without acting like a beta male and is this something you believe I can look past?

Absolutely fucking not. She lied to your face, Dude.

I want to stop talking about this weirdo and just enjoy my time with her. I appreciate the advice and I look forward to being a student of your craft.

I would just look at a girl like this as a fuck buddy. Like one of my best friends when he was in high school. I remember he was telling me a story about a girl that he started dating and hooking up with, and he was like, “Wow, things are going great with me and her.” And then a week later, he’s telling another mutual friend of ours about, you know, who he was dating, who he hooked up with, and how things are going really well.

And he’s like, “Bro, just a few days before you hooked up with her, she was fucking these other two guys.” He was like, “Oh, thanks for telling me.” And his attitude was like, “Okay, hey, we hooked up, great.” She’s hot. She was popular. Most guys wanted to hook up with her, and a lot of them did, actually. And but once he found out what her true nature was, it’s like that was it for him. It was just a fun hook up. And then he was able to move on. He didn’t stay trying to change her or anything.

And eventually he married a girl that was a good, family oriented woman, and they lived happily ever after. But he had lots of choices. He was fucking all the hot girls in high school. He vetted for character, and he wasn’t going to/ he didn’t want to date a whore. He didn’t want his friends laughing at him. “Oh, you’re in a relationship with, you know, the school whore, or one of the school whores?”

It’s like, come on. So that’s basically where you’re at. You’re dating a girl who’s very promiscuous, and she ain’t going to be loyal and faithful to anybody. You can’t believe anything she says. You just got to see her reality as it is; based on her actions and what she’s told you. And she’s admitted. A habitual liar. You’re not going to fix it.

I appreciate the advice and I look forward to being a student of your craft.

Bob

So if that was me, I would just see it as it is. I would just say, “Hey, I think you’re a great girl and everything, but I don’t want to be exclusive. I don’t want to be serious. I don’t trust you. You lied to my face multiple times, and you’re obviously not trustworthy. So we can be friends with benefits. But I’m going to start dating other women. This is not going to go anywhere other than fuck buddy, friends with benefits. Because you don’t value it. I don’t hate you for it. This is reality. You got all these dudes. These guys are all dudes you fucked, or who want to fuck you. It’s like, I don’t want to go to this concert and hang out with a bunch of your exes. That are going to be looking at us, and looking at me and biding their time and hoping they’re going to get a chance. It’s like, that’s gross. I don’t want to deal with that. It’s like, why would you insult me and want me to go hang out with all of your fans and, you know, a bunch of dudes that you’ve already had sex with? No thank you.”

You have got to see reality as it is. Not better than it is, or worse than it is, but as it is. And you’re trying to be Mr. White Knight, Captain Save-A-Hoe and you’re just not going to fix it. Guys who have choice are just going to see it as it is, just like my buddy did in high school, and on to the next. No big deal. But guys that are desperate and have a hard time getting women interested, will put up with this shit and try to fix it. And you just can’t fix somebody like this. Her parents and her family screwed her up. It’s not your fault.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page of my website, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.