How to properly date & romance women so they voluntarily blow off all other men they are dating & want to only see you without you having to ask for it. As I discuss in my book, when it comes to being exclusive you should always let the woman bring it up first. A man’s job in the courtship is simply to arrange fun filled romantic opportunities for sex to happen; also known as dates. Usually it takes a couple of months for a woman to become emotionally comfortable and fall in love enough to where she wants you all to herself.
Most men are in such a hurry to tie a woman up and get a relationship commitment that they act like women instead of men. This is a turnoff to women. As a man your job is to gently lead a woman to where you want her to go. Once she falls in love with you she will start to bring up relationships and commitment or even marriage. Then and only then should you discuss it with her. The following is an e-mail from a reader who has successfully used what I teach to re-attract his girlfriend, even though she was living with another man. His neediness is still causing him to try to force her into a commitment that she is not yet ready for. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Recently I hooked up with my ex who I was going to write you about and let you know the progress. To let you know how things have happened after reading your book and looking at the videos. I have another issue with her. She recently stayed with me for 6 days in which we went bowling, ate out for dinner, had dinner with a married couple who are friends of hers, we had sex almost twice a day, she touched me, etc. When we walked together she would hold my hand, she caressed my skin, my hair and touched my body parts with affection. We cuddled and had fun. I would make dinner and she would do the dishes. She would make breakfast for me while I was asleep. (That’s awesome!)
I kissed her in the morning before I went to work and I kept everything upbeat, fun, and we did a lot of communicating. I did not bring up getting back together or titles, but she tells me she wants to take it slow. I agree with her because she is worried about repeating what we had before and that what I’m bringing to the table with her is worth us getting back together. So I am trying not to do things that may cause her to think I’m rushing her. When talking about the future she mentions having kids with me and being married like she wants to be an item one day soon. (Keep in mind when women say things like that, it’s simply a reflection of how they feel in that moment only. A woman’s interest in you will fluctuate based upon how many things you do right vs wrong.)
She initiated all the contact with me. (Women prefer to chase men.) I have not been doing any chasing. It didn’t take long for me to open her up emotionally once she let me back into her world. A few months ago she was cold and distant and living with another guy she met a month after we broke up. We were together for almost 2 years and their relationship lasted for about 3 months. (She had more time in with you and therefore, had a deeper emotional connection to you. Plus, after several months have gone by since your breakup she will tend to focus more on the positive things from your past relationship instead of all of the pain and hurt you caused her.)
We broke up in December of last year and she contacted me in May of this year in which we started talking again. That led us to communicating and back to being intimate again. She tells me she is scared of commitment and doesn’t know what will happen with us; (Translation: “Stay in the moment with me and have fun instead of worrying about our future together or you will lower your chances of having one with me.”) that in a relationship she always finds something to eventually break it off.
She tells me she doesn’t mind if I’m dating other women which tells me without her saying it, that she plans on dating other men. When I bring that topic up to her and say, “well if you intend to date other men I’m out of the picture. I’m not sharing or following behind other men.” (You fucked up there. You don’t have the right to make any claims on her. It’s this type of needy insecure behavior that caused her to dump you in the first place. Your girlfriend told you to stay in the moment and not worry about your future or labels, but you said that to try to force her to commit to being exclusive with you. You are acting like a woman who is unsure of herself. That is a turnoff. Act like a man.
If you simply focus on having fun and being present in the moment, eventually she will let you know when she wants to be exclusive. Until then… play ball!) It’s like as if she has no intentions of seeing other men while figuring us out, but certain things she says throws up a red flag to me because I always assume the worst. (See, this is YOUR ISSUE, not hers needy boy. What you fear you ATTRACT, what you look at disappears.) Not just with her, but it’s that way with every woman I’ve been involved with. (Your insecurity and limiting beliefs are causing you to act from a place of fear and act like a woman instead of a man. Men are certain, women are vague and unsure.)
When we were together she was faithful even in the mist of my BS in the relationship. She says she loves me and she cares for me. She moved into a new apartment and without me asking for a key, she gave me the extra key to her apartment. But then she said that even though you got the key, to call before you come over because you never know who may be there. (Possible response: “Damn! I was hoping to catch you in bed with that super hot bi-sexual girlfriend you’ve been hiding from me so we can share and have a threesome.”) So I played it off myself and said, “well, I’ve seen your neighbors who are very attractive and you may come home and see my car and look for me at your apartment, but I’ll be with your neighbor.” (Good comeback.)
We laughed about it. I don’t know what to figure out about these mixed signals from her, but I told her that I’m not rushing her and that we can take it slow. (Nothing to figure out. Just stop worrying about your future and live in the moment. She keeps telling you this and asking for it, but you keep ignoring her.) If you want to date other men, let me know so I can get out of the picture. (Weak. When I say never bring up being exclusive, I mean never. It’s the woman’s department, not the mans.) So I’m starting to look for other women and I still keep in touch with the women I had been seeing before my ex came back into the picture so as not to be hung up on her like I was several months ago just in case we don’t work out in the end.
I’m starting to think she is testing me to see if I am that same fast tempered, argumentative, jealous insecure jackass I was when we were together to see if I made any personal changes in my character. (Yep, women always bluff to test your strength and to see if you are worthy.) She says she notices my changes and that she likes it, but thinks it’s just an act to get her back. I got home yesterday and the key she left for me that was on the kitchen counter for 3 days was left on my bed pillow to her apartment. (That is a good sign. Relax, it’s in the bag.)
She is about to start a job that will keep her stressed out and working long hours; 14 to 16 hours a day. I think that is making her act kinda crazy (No, your neediness and insecurity is driving her away. She reacts like all normal healthy women would based upon your behavior.) also because when she talks about her new position she talks about it with little enthusiasm and worry.
Do you have any advice? (Date other women until she asks you to be exclusive. Until then, shut the fuck up about commitments; including being indirect about it. Otherwise she will perceive you as weak and unworthy which will only drive her away and delay what you want… exclusivity. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Nothing can sabotage winning, except for fear of losing. Success usually lies just beyond failure.” ~ Cortes