This is a recent email I got. This guy is projecting his high interest level onto women that he is meeting, and reading too much into situations. He is cutting corners and not using all of the techniques available to him in my book. Here’s his email:
It is always good to hear from you. I will always take your advice. I had an encounter with a drop dead natural redhead with freckles that I want to tell you about, and you are welcome to share any and all of it to anyone who needs to sharpen their skills. It mirrors the women who want to be in love article, “Women Want To Be In A Love Story.”
Here it is:
On Sunday I went to one of my favorite restaurants that I visit on and off. I went in and sat down at a booth. It was empty except for the three waitresses and myself. I sat down and waited to be served. Then, up comes this drop dead redhead with freckles and a body on her that any guy would die for. She introduced herself as my waitress and asked me how I was doing. I responded that I was doing great. I then asked her how she was doing, and she said she was doing well with a smile. She handed me the menu and I noticed it was new and different, so I told her I am going to need some time to look it over. She then told me that she started working there two weeks ago, was in training, actually started serving three days ago and she said it took her a while to memorize the menu. She called it Charlie’s Bible. I told her I liked the sound of that, with a smile. All the while, she was moving closer and closer to me. I happen to prefer redheads, so I started talking about her hair, and I asked her if she was a natural redhead, or if she had her hair colored at a beauty salon. She told me that she was a natural redhead with freckles. I told her I liked that, and that a redhead with freckles was usually a genuine combination, and I should have known better than to ask. She continued looking at me and smiling. I then asked her to start me off with a salad with Italian dressing. She said she would go get my salad and be right back to check on me.
When she returned, I thanked her for the salad using her name and smiling. We talked some more, and then I asked her for her opinion on a dish I liked and ordered it. She then left to place my order, and when she returned, she had my food. At that point, she was calling me “Sweetie.” I was asking her open ended questions and just letting her talk. She kept checking up on me regularly, and when I would look at her when she was behind the bar, she would smile. She decided to bring me my bill after I was finished eating, and she asked me if I eat at this restaurant often. I told her, not too often, but I would come when she was there. She then told me what days she would be working, and I told her I would call and see if she was there before I came. She smiled and acknowledged that she was looking forward to seeing me again. I also complimented her on her great service, seeing she had just finished training, the delicious food, and that it was a pleasure meeting her. She then reached out her hand and gave me a warm handshake. I then said bye and left. I did not ask her for her number. I was confident that she had a high interest level in me, I was being who I was, I liked her for who she was, and she felt comfortable talking to me. She was making it easy for me. She is now going to be wondering when I am going back, and it will raise her interest level even more. The next time, I will ask for her phone number.
I just wanted to pass this by you for your comments, and to say I was pleased with the chemistry between us. Thanks again for all your advice and your book and emails.
Here is my response to Tom’s email:
On my pathway to the success that I enjoy today, I spent many years working in the restaurant business. Everything this girl said was in line with trying to make you happy so you would leave a good tip. She also invited you to come back. As a waiter/server, you want good tipping customers to come back and become your regulars. That way, you will have good steady tips and income. A server that gets lots of regulars can make 2-3 times what everyone else can, working the same shifts.
Stop cherry picking the strategies in my book. Go back and read the first few chapters. You should always ask for her number before you leave. It displays weakness when you don’t ask. You could have looked at her name tag and said, “Your name is “Jennifer?” She’ll say, “Yes,” and then you say, “It’s nice to meet you Jennifer,” without volunteering yours. If she liked you, she would say “It’s nice to meet you too. What’s your name?” If she had low interest she would say, “It’s nice to meet you too,” and never ask you what your name was. You also have to consider that if she did ask your name, she might just be being polite. The first chapters of my book have dozens of strategies and questions you can ask to gauge a woman’s interest level in you.
Now you have to go back. Hopefully she is there. You will spend more money on another meal, and hopefully ask for her number. You would be chasing after her for the second time, since you did not take advantage of the first opportunity. Women want to be in a love story and swept off their feet. Alpha males do that instantly. It’s inefficient, chews up a lot of your valuable time, and causes you to put your personal life on hold as you contemplate this waitress over the days until you go back. You then could miss out on other opportunities that present themselves because you are “confident” she likes you. If she really liked you and was comfortable with herself, she probably would have hugged you when you left. She reached out for a handshake instead. You’ve got to read ALL of the signs. It appears you are projecting your own sky-high interest level onto this waitress, and are not being a very observant love detective to see if the signs are really there. Knowledge is not power. It is only potential power. It becomes power when you use it. Re-read my book and start applying ALL of it, not just the parts that reinforce your belief that a chick digs you.
You want to know one thing when you meet a chick. Are you in, or are you out? Do you like me or not? You don’t ask her if she likes you. You read the body language and signs. Where I am at in life, if a woman does not display high interest in me to start with, I won’t ask for the number. Why? It’s so much easier and more fun to date someone with high mutual interest. When you chase chicks that you like way more than they like you, it’s a lot of work to keep a conversation going, and she is not going to be very responsive to your advances. I like things to be easy and effortless. When you are successful and you feel like you could take on the world and win, you feel powerful. You feel alive and amazing. Women everywhere notice you and smile. When it first happened to me, it was weird. Women had never looked at me that way before, at least not very often. Women instantly recognize a dominate male just by seeing you when you feel this powerful. The women approach you, and so meeting women is easy.
Go out and be the most successful guy you can be. Apply everything in my book. You will see it works. This will build your confidence and your self-esteem. This makes you even more attractive to women in general. If you don’t talk to a lot of women and go through the steps in my book, it will take you years to succeed. Go to the mall and start talking to people. Repetition is the mother of skill. If you work hard and spend several hours per week practicing, you can get this stuff in weeks. The fewer women and people you talk to in general, the longer it will take for the light bulbs to go off in your head. You need to step it up a few notches my friend.
“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” ~ Jerry Rice
Try it out and let me know what happens.
From my heart to yours,
“There is a lesson in almost everything that you do, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It is how you enrich your spirit.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur