Complacency: I Thought I Could Just Coast

How to avoid the trap of courtship complacency so you can successfully transition from casually dating, to being in a relationship and intermixing each others friends, family and co-workers.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who only read my book a few times before meeting the perfect woman. Things were great for about the first three months. He met and became involved with her family. He says he thought at that point he could just coast. He started talking on the phone more and setting dates less. Since he never took the time to learn and understand how to communicate and maintain a relationship, as she backed away he started to pursue more. After four months she dumped him saying that she should feel something more for him at that point, but she just did not feel like the relationship was progressing.

The second email is from a woman who adopted her boyfriends religion, gave up her dream job and alienated her family in her effort to give him what she thought he wanted. Things were great for the first year. After two years she is miserable and wants to get back to the way things were. The third email is from a guy who got dumped by his girlfriend for being too clingy, needy and just being an overall pussy (his words). After studying my work he realized that this has been what he does every time he is with a woman he really likes. He recently met a new woman who does most of the pursuing, brings over wine and literally begs him to have sex with him in the morning. The best part is he says that she is three times hotter and four years younger than his ex. She’s also a pre-med student. He upgraded.

“Human nature is always one towards complacency and laziness when things are going well. When we start to become very successful in our relationships, friendships, career, business, life, etc., it’s a challenge for everyone to continue to do the little daily actions that led to success in the first place, and that are essential to keeping the momentum of success moving in the right direction. Men in relationships are often guilty of courtship complacency where they stop dating their wives or girlfriends, going to the gym, maintaining their friendships, etc. Successful salespeople often stop doing the little things that made them successful in the first place by cutting corners during the sales process. When women no longer feel loved and attractive, they often will let their appearance go and no longer make the same effort to remain sexy, desirable and attractive. In every kind of relationship, we must guard against becoming lazy, taking others for granted and not making the same level of effort that we did in the beginning of the relationship. The purpose of all relationships is that you go there to give. Once the giving stops, it’s simply a matter of time before the relationship dissolves.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne