In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is a success story from a guy who has read my book fifteen times now. He says he has field-tested what I teach, and it works like gold for him. He also says, when he does not do what I teach, it always ends in failure. He shares which principles from my book have been paradigm shifting for him.
The second is an email text exchange from a guy whose ex recently contacted him after a breakup. He did a masterful job of replying to her from a position of strength to get what he wanted, which was another romantic opportunity for sex to happen. Although they did not get together, he did a great job standing up for himself and applying the philosophy I teach in my book, “How To Be A 3% Man.” My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.
First Viewer’s Email:
Hey Coach,I hope all is well in your world. I wanted to give you a shout out and endorsement of your teachings and techniques. I’ve read the book 15+ times now, and I made it a point to continue reading it at least once a month. I am a fast reader, so your book with my underlines and markings, takes me roughly 5 hours total to read. (That’s fucking awesome dude. This is someone who’s a serious, committed student and they want to kick ass. These are the guys who have great success stories.) Because repetition is a mother of all skill! (You’ve definitely been paying attention.)
Your teachings are GOLD. I’ve field-tested them countless times, and they work every single time. (What I teach isn’t really just about dating and relationships. It’s really about life and our interactions with other people. I teach you how to get what you want.) “When are you free to get together again/for drinks/next week?” should be patented, and you should charge people $1 every time they use it. It is THE BEST line for in person/text/phone/online dating to get a woman out. (When you ask, “When are you free to get together?” it allows her to tell you when her schedule is open, and then you make a date. It’s really fucking simple.) Letting the girl “do 80% of talking” is best advice EVER for any guy looking to get with multiple women fast.
(Well, if you think about it, we have two ears and one mouth, because we should listen twice as much as we speak. When you listen to another human being, when you’re sincerely interested in them, when you want to sell something to somebody or talk them into liking you, asking questions and being interested in who they are is the key to doing that. That’s why it’s so effective, especially on a date with a woman, because you make her feel like you really care about who she is as a human being, and you’re interested in her. Most guys are focused on the visual thing, trying to get in her pants and trying to prove themselves, talking about how great they are and their accomplishments. Women can see right fucking through that. They can see it coming from a mile away.)STFU and let her tell you all about her day/life while you nod “wow, oh really, tell me more, cool.” And lastly, the “Let her come to you/do nothing” is the most counter-intuitive, yet tested and PROVEN 100% to work, advice for any dating situation. (As long as she’s normal and not a fucking fruit loop.)
On the other hand, not following your advice is a 100% GUARANTEED rejection. Period. Topic closed. There is no cherry picking your material. You either follow it 100%, or you will fail. (I might not always be right, but I’m never wrong. I only talk about things that I know, I’ve studied and I’ve learned about.) You must be able to know the material so well, that if you are awaken at midnight by a fucking nuclear attack and asked by Melania Trump, “Are you single?” you will casually glance at the fireball outside your window and reply, “I always have room for one more.” (Thanks for your great success story. I appreciate the fact that you’ve been a diligent student and you’re fucking crushing it.)
Second Viewer’s Text Exchange:
Her: I am here if you ever need someone to talk to.
(She’s throwing the friendship vibe at him.)
Him: Thank you for the offer. Would you like to come over Sunday evening? Bring a couple of beers. Maybe have some food.Her: What are the circumstances?
Her: I also got help by the way. Although it was too late cause I need to get stitches tomorrow, but they gave me antidepressants. I would quite happily have a few beers with you and food to make sure you are alright.
(She’s texting to make sure he’s okay after the breakup. What it really sounds like is she’s just needling him a little. She wants to know, does he still care? Does he still need me in his life? And there’s probably some other dude in her life.)
Him: That’s good you’re getting help. In a romantic sense, not a platonic one. As I said before I’m not interested in being just friends, and although I appreciate you wanting to make sure I’m alright, I am. You don’t need to make sure of that.
(She’s trying to put the friendship vibe out there, trying to see if she can get him to submit to what she wants, which is being stuck in friends zone.)
Her: I am always going to make sure you are alright, even if you don’t want me to. I can always come round for beers and see how it goes? I’m not going to lie, but I am open to dating other people if the option arises. Not that I am dating anyone, but just thought I would make that clear.Him: Yeah, beers, food, hang out and see how it goes. I’m open to dating other people too, but as long as you understand we’ll be seeing each other in a romantic sense, then come over on Sunday, 7pm.
Her: I will if I am alive?? I am an alcoholic after all, so I will see what I can do.
(In other words, you roughed up her feathers, because she wants to stick you in friends zone and get you to agree to be her backup plan. That obviously pisses her off, because she’s used to jerking you around and getting what she wants. Plus, she’s an alcoholic, so she’s got a whole truckload of problems to deal with first. The idea is, you don’t want somebody to complete you. You want to find a happy, whole, complete person who’s got their shit together, so you can share your completeness. Otherwise, you end up being their therapist or nurse. That’s not fun. Let her family, her close friends and her doctors work with her.)
Him: If you can’t make definite plans, then let’s leave it. Get in touch when you know you definitely want to see me and you know you can make definite plans, and if I’m still single, we’ll see if we can sort something.
Her: Bob, I can’t make definite plans because I’m an alcoholic and I’m being treated for it. It’s not an excuse, I honestly don’t know when I will be sober enough to remember or stick to plans.(She’s making excuses for her flakiness, trying to make him feel guilty and bad.)
Him: I understand, but I’m not going to leave my evenings open for a maybe when I have other people that want to spend time with me. I’m sorry. Let’s just leave it. I hope you get well soon.
(Great response dude. You’ve been paying attention.)
Her: Well, that’s your choice. I’m sorry I can’t commit to anything due to my alcoholism. I will get it under wraps at some point if I don’t get put in rehabilitation.
(No she’s not. She ain’t sorry about shit. She’s just pissed off that you didn’t go along with her agenda, which is being stuck in friends zone with blue balls.)
Him: Then you are in no state to be dating at all, me or anyone else. It’s probably best you wait until you’re better before you start dating anyone. I’ve got to go, have a good night.
(I love this last response because he’s being truthful and brutally honest. If you’re a high-status person, and you’ve got a lot to offer somebody, you’re not going to take shit from nobody. I am so fucking proud of you. That is a great, awesome response. You handled yourself well, because you learned the fundamentals, you have a fruit loop who has an alcohol problem who’s trying to come into your life and jerk you around, and you’re like, no. I’m not going to come over and be your pal or your buddy. We’re lovers or we’re nothing. That drove her up a wall.
As the great war reporter Michael Yon said, “The strongest negotiation position is being able to walk away and mean it.” I highly recommend you look up his website, Michael Yon Online Magazine, and read his book “Danger Close: The Michael Yon Story.” He’s a brilliant guy and somebody that I always listen to when he’s got an opinion. He’s a retired Green Beret and very well-connected to people that are running the show.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Much like kids test their parents to see what they can get away with and push the boundaries, adults do this with each other in all aspects of life and human interactions. Sales people test your willingness to part with your money and accept terms that are more favorable to them. Lovers and potential lovers test each other to see what the other person is made of. Setting healthy boundaries is part of any good personal and professional relationship. Being willing to enforce those boundaries, by walking away and never looking back if you are not treated the way you want and deserve, is sometimes necessary to communicate that you mean what you say, and are not bluffing. People will love and respect you more, and give you what you want, if you mean what you say. If you allow others to walk all over you and treat you like a doormat, they will eventually see you as being worthless and unworthy of respect. You don’t get what you deserve in life, only what you negotiate. Negotiating from a position of strength is always necessary to ensure that you get what you want in life and are treated how you want to be treated.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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