How being dangerous, taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone is essential to developing your masculinity, inner strength and making yourself attractive to women.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who asks how to become more dangerous and what kinds of risks are considered to be dangerous and masculine as a man.
The second email is a success story from an Australian viewer who shares how my work has helped him to become more masculine, take risks and create the life and lifestyle he really wants. He shares how being more dangerous and taking risks has led to a massive increase in the overall quality of his life and the quality of women he now dates. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails.
First Viewer’s Email:
In previous videos, you mention that it’s good to have a dangerous side. I was wondering if you have any specific examples as to what constitutes acting dangerously. Is it all in how you talk and present yourself? Or do I need to start riding a motorcycle and learn Brazilian jiu-jitsu?
Thanks for all your great work,
(A book that I highly recommend is called “Wild At Heart” by John Eldredge. It’s a great book about taking risks and boys being dangerous, not being timid and shy. It’s not about taking jiu-jitsu classes and getting in fights. The idea is, you want to do things that heighten and enhance your masculinity — to go for things you normally wouldn’t do, or are too afraid or shy or timid to do. Because, we’re all living in bodies that are going to die. You’ve got a limited amount of time.
If you look at the actor Steve McQueen, he was called “The King of Cool.” He was a guy who, at the time, embodied dangerous masculinity. He rode and raced motorcycles, and he did a lot of stunts. He raced cars, he was into guns, and if he saw a woman he liked, he fucking went for it. He completely lived life full out, without holding back.
From the show “Billions” on Showtime, (Season 3, Episode 4 “Hell of a Ride”):
“Dying in your 30’s is tragic, as is 40’s, sympathy dissipates from there”
“50’s is such a shame”
“60’s is too soon”
“70’s is a good run”
“80’s is a life well lived”
“90’s, that’s a fucking hell of a ride”
The idea is, you want to try to live your life in such a way that you set yourself up where you’re constantly going for the things that you want, taking risks, asking for a raise, and if you don’t get a raise, looking for other jobs while you continue to keep your job, so you can get paid more money.
More money means more choices. The money you get compensated in whatever you do for a living is going to increase proportionately in relation to what Scott Adams calls your “Talent Stack” — your skills, your knowledge, your ability to add value through some kind of product or service.
It’s not holding back. It’s going for the things you want. If you see a woman you want to ask out, it’s a crap shoot. It’s a 50/50 shot. She could say yes or no, but at the end of the day, if you go for it and you get rejected, at least you tried. It’s much worse to walk away from that situation. At some point you’re going to run out of time.
Masculine energy is about drive, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers, overcoming challenges and taking risks. In other words, being willing to fail, because most people are living lives of quiet desperation. As Tony Robbins says, “Most people tend to major in minor things.” They just won’t do what’s necessary consistently and over a long term to get the things they want.)
Second Viewer’s Email:
(This guy’s life is a work in progress. That’s the whole point. Every day that you get up, you get the same amount of hours in the day as everybody else. The thing that really matters is what you do with that time. Your outcome and where you end up, your trajectory, is going to be based upon the actions you take, as well as the actions you fail to take.
Success, as I talk about in my new book, “Mastering Yourself,” is about feeling like you’re making progress. If you’re sitting around doing nothing, you’re not taking any risks, and you’re not getting any results, because you’re not doing anything. Therefore, you’re not going to feel like you’re making much progress in your life. At least when you go for something, even if you fail, you get results and you learn from your results. That helps you fine tune your approach and helps you have a little bit more confidence the next time around.
The more you do things, and the more you take risks going for what you want, it’s like building muscle in the gym. You’re building emotional and mental muscle, intestinal fortitude. Or “testicular fortitude” as Richard Marcinko, the founder of the US Navy SEALTeam Six refers to it. Some other great books I highly recommend are Richard Marcinko’s “Rogue Warrior” and “The Rogue Warrior’s Strategy For Success.” That dude is a certified, badass alpha male. )
I just want to say thanks to all the work that you’re doing. You helped me get the most beautiful woman. We had that perfect relationship where she supported me, and we were like soulmates.
Unfortunately, it ended because I became complacent, but also, she hid the fact she was on medication like Xanax and psych visits once per month. She hid this from me for over a year. Because she was so beautiful, I thought I would make it work.
(I had that experience once. I had a woman I was dating where it wasn’t until six months we were dating that I found out she was on antidepressants, and after taking herself off of them, after just two weeks, she completely changed. It was a Jekyll and Hyde thing. She became a different person.
If you’ve read my second book, “Mastering Yourself,” you understand some of the things I’ve experienced with my own mother being a psychotic schizophrenic and my dad’s ex-fiancee who was a manic depressive and committed suicide. If you’ve ever been around anybody that’s on those psychotropic drugs, and then they come off of them, it ain’t fun. It’s a rough road.)
Long story short, she ended it. I was depressed and sad and wanted her back. I buried myself in your work and the book and recovered. I walked away and never looked back.
(The reality is, you look at things like that as a win, as a victory. You got to experience being with somebody that, at least in the beginning, seemed like your ideal. You either grow together, or you grow apart. It doesn’t mean somebody who is on antidepressants is a horrible person to be in a relationship with, but if you’ve got somebody who’s on and off those drugs and they’re not doing the things they should be doing, it’s a hell of a fucking roller coaster.)
Now I’m trying out all the things I have learned on beautiful women. Not chatting on the phone is driving them nuts. I stay centered and in control, and I make the date.
(That’s being direct, decisive, getting to the point and being the leader in the interaction. A guy who’s timid, who’s too shy, thinks “I’ve got to talk to her more to get her to like me more,” and then he’ll ask her out. So they act more like a friend, versus a romantic lover.)
My business is doing great, and it’s what I love doing. I also work in something I absolutely love. I wake up without coffee ready for work, eat a plant based diet, train 5 days a week and I’m living my dream.
(You’re taking care of the things that are most important to you. You’re going for the things you want. You’re doing what you love for a living. You’re going way harder doing something you love versus just earning a paycheck. If you want to reach your full potential, especially when it comes to earning income, you’re going to work harder at something you really love and you’re really passionate about.
Life is just too fucking short not to go for the things you want. If you want to do it in a measured and balanced way, you don’t want to just up and quit your job. You want to build your side business or your entrepreneurial adventure, or you want to learn things on the side while you’re still working at your job. The whole idea is to add to your knowledge and to develop your skills and talents. Those are going to determine how much you can charge either through a salary or for products and services to other people.)
You have changed my life for the best. I can’t thank you enough. I race cars, make money and travel.
(Racing cars is a very dangerous and masculine thing, but that doesn’t mean you go race cars because it’s dangerous and masculine. You should race cars because it’s something that you love to do.)
You’re like a father, as mine was never there for me, similar to your parents.
If you ever decide to holiday in Australia, you can use one of my Range Rovers and stay at one of my places.
Thank you for your work. I wish you the best.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The difference between the 3% who win consistently and experience all that life has to offer, and the 97% who are mediocre and average, is that the 3% simply take risks and actions that the 97% are unwilling or too afraid to take. Being dangerous and masculine are synonymous with each other. The reality is you are living in a body that is eventually going to die and turn to dust. So from that perspective, you’re already dead. In the end, you’re going to lose it all anyway. There’s no other way to live than to do things that scare the hell out of you and go for what you really want. Find a way to make your life a masterpiece and enjoy it while you can, because it ain’t gonna last.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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