Dating Fantasies That Go Nowhere

How to determine if you have a chance of things getting more serious with someone you are dating, or if you just have an irrational emotional attachment and are ignoring the fact that the other person is simply uninterested in you romantically, or if they are simply incapable of giving you what you want.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss three different emails from three different viewers who have been deluding themselves with their dating fantasies, and ignoring the reality of what’s really going on with the people who they are or were involved with. The first email is from a woman who was dating a man for about three weeks when he broke up with his on again-off again girlfriend of four years. He now has backed away and tells her how he cares more about her than she could ever know, but yet he won’t ask her out on dates anymore or spend time with her. Things have been going nowhere with him for several months. She asks for my opinion on what’s really going on with his behavior.

The second email is from a man who has been in friend-zone with a woman for four years. He thought they were a couple as they spent so much time together and even adopted a dog together. There was no physical intimacy at all and when he brought up the subject of dating, she freaked out and pretty much removed herself from his life. He’s dating other women, but keeps thinking about her. The third email is from a man who was needy, clingy and smothering his girlfriend to the point that she dumped him and told him she needed some space. He did not listen to her and continued to try to force himself into her life. He now wonders what he can “do” to get her back.

“When someone does not truly feel like they have anything to offer a potential lover, or that they are not a good catch, they often will ignore reality and project their feelings onto the other person and assume that they feel the same way. Their subconscious belief that they are unworthy will override their ability to be honest with themselves and see reality for what it is. This leads to a constant state of suffering because their desires and dreams never match their reality, but since deep down they don’t believe that they are deserving or worthy of having what they want, their suffering is actually in total alignment with their subconscious belief system. People always will act in ways that are consistent with who they believe themselves to be, whether or not those beliefs are accurate. The bottom line is that if someone truly has mutual feelings and interest, they will be excited to see and spend time with you. Keep searching until you find someone who reciprocates interest, instead of deluding yourself into waiting, wanting, hoping or wishing someone’s lack of interest or effort will change if you continue to pursue, pester or persuade them into changing their minds.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne