Why most of the people who you find attractive in your dating life will either not be into you, or they simply will not be very interesting, fun, confident or turn out to be a very high quality match. Therefore, it’s all in the numbers and you should ask out and date as many people as you can in order to find a good quality match for you, and to improve your pickup, dating and relationship skills.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a female viewer who is frustrated with the lack of quality men she is meeting and dating. She says most of them fall into the category of the 97% who lack confidence, dating skills and are low quality. Because of this, she has also started dating women! The interesting thing she is finding out about dating women is that most of them are low quality as well. About the same 97% as men turn out to be low quality prospects. They are either boring, needy, obsessive and blow up her inbox with messages, or they lack confidence and have no passion for life. She says she has yet to meet a man or a woman who is hot, confident, enthusiastic, friendly and interesting. When dating men, she likes the men to take the lead. When dating women, she likes to take the lead. She asks my opinion if it’s just her country, or if most people around the world are simply low quality dating prospects. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of her email:
Hi Coach Corey,
I wrote to you a few months ago to say thank you for helping me understand women more, and you helped me realize that it’s not that I’m putting men off, but I have high standards, I want someone better, and there aren’t many real men about. I’ve been dating lots and having lots of fun, but still lots of first dates with 97 percenters. Although it is fun, and I’ve met some really interesting people. I’ve also started dating women. I’m greedy. I understand that someone needs to be the leader in a relationship, or things get confusing and there’s no sexual polarity. With men, they have to lead, but with women I prefer to lead. Since I’ve been dating women, I’ve got to admit, the quality is about the same as with men, and there aren’t many who I’d date, so I’m wondering whether you think there’s a 97% of women too? (That’s the reality of it. If you’re into self-improvement, you’ll learn most people are zombies and live mediocre lives. It may be hard to find other like-minded people who have the same goals as yourself.) I haven’t found one woman who’s hot, intelligent, friendly, enthusiastic and interesting. I’ve started conversations with over 50 women this month, and they seem to be about as bad as the guys. Some take over 10 days to reply and give one-word answers, aaargh! (Ask out 100 women over the next month and you will discover, 10-12 will go out with you, and 3-5 of them will sleep with you. Maybe they felt they didn’t deserve being with you, but it’s not your job to fix them. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Self-actualizing people must be what they can be.” If you’re a self-actualizing person, you have a vision, you know what you want, and you have to go for it.) Some message 8 times a day and get bitchy if you don’t reply. Some sound totally miserable and sound like they have no passion for life. Some give you all the ‘chat,’ and then when you suggest meeting up, they flake out or you meet them and they have zero confidence in person. (It’s really a numbers game. You’ve just got to keep dating. If you apply the things in my book, you can weed out these people. Repetition is the mother of skill.) So I’m actually starting to believe there are about as many 97% men as there are women…unless it’s just my part of the country. I might consider moving! Ha-ha. (It doesn’t matter what country you’re from. I have clients all over the world who encounter the same thing.)
I’m not really looking for a relationship at this point, just having fun, growing and learning, but I think if I were, I’d need to be dating at least 8 people a week to get through the numbers. Have you found this, or do I actually need to move to America because it’s just English people? (People are the same everywhere. The more successful you become at applying the principles in my book, the pickier you will get. You’re a rare and special person, and you deserve someone who is as rare and special as you are. Focus on taking care of yourself and get through the numbers.)
It would be interesting to hear your opinion.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Most people you will encounter in your life journey are never going to reach their full potential. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “It’s never crowded along the extra mile.” Most people give up and are too afraid and run by their fears to ever become all that they can. If you are reading this, then you are likely in the rare 3% of people who have high standards for themselves, want the best that they can get and are unwilling to settle for a life of mediocrity and disappointment. Unfortunately, the world is full of people who are sleepwalking through life and who will try to drag you down to their level. Therefore, you must remain ever vigilant and only allow people into your inner circle and spend your time with those who have the same high standards, drive and desire for greatness.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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