Dating: Over-Eagerness & Over-Thinking

Jul 21, 2015 by Coach Corey Wayne

Romantic happy couple with lovely smilesWhy it’s always best, when it comes to dating, to keep things simple by taking your time, going with the flow and not being too over-eager to make things happen or over-thinking everything to the point that it takes you out of the present moment and makes you worry about sex, sexual performance or if things will work out.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is too over-eager to set the next date with a woman he just started dating, and is over-complicating and over-thinking what he should and should not do next. He says he has read my book over ten times and watched many of my videos, but it does not appear he has had much practice applying what he claims to have learned.

He’s getting himself all worked up in mental knots worrying about sex and the logistics of making it happen on their upcoming forth date. He’s worried if it does not happen the next time, she will think he is a “pussy” and lose interest. I tell him what he needs to focus on to un-complicate things and to make their dating easy and effortless so things can happen naturally. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.

Hey Corey,

Couple datingI’ve been an avid reader of your book, 10 plus times and counting, and I’ve watched many of your videos. (It’s important to take the time to learn the book backwards and forward, or you will act like a rookie that doesn’t know what they’re doing.) I contacted you back in 2012, when I didn’t know squat, and you kindly responded. Today, I’m dating this British girl and we’ve had 3 great dates, one per week as you teach. We had a short brunch date the first time, (your job as a man is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun, hook up. I teach to not do lunches), an awesome evening the second night, we made out for an hour non stop, and had a very hot picnic on the third one, so we will likely do the same without clothes pretty soon. (You don’t sound like a guy who’s read my book 10 times and is applying the things that I teach. You have to plan the logistics for sex. If you don’t believe it’s a possibility, it won’t happen.) After each date, she has texted me within a few hours to tell how great of a time she had. Every time, I took the opportunity to plan the next date. (I teach you should have one date per week, and you should not make a second date while you’re on an existing date. It’s too soon. It’s not a mad dash to the finish line. Women like a guy who can last. You should also watch my article and video, “How Men Can Have Multiple Orgasms,” so you can learn how to last in the bedroom. ) She has excitedly accepted each time, writing funny texts about her day etc., and we were sending each other bantering texts every other day or two. (The phone is for setting dates only. It sounds like you’re violating that principle as well.) Through her texts and actions, I can tell she obviously likes me, and I reciprocate. (When you start chit-chatting all the time, the girl will get bored, and you won’t have anything to talk about on your date.) It seems as though the progression has been very natural, and we give each other space, which I like. I’ve been dating around, but I like this girl. It’s pretty effortless with her. She seems like girlfriend material, I want to give back what she’s giving me, and so far that’s been the case.

Business Man Reading Something on the Screen of His Cell PhoneWe have our fourth date planned for Friday evening at a cocktail lounge, but I have to leave for the airport at 3 am for an early Saturday morning flight. (It doesn’t sound like you’re thinking about The Logistics Of Sex.) Sex is bound to happen very soon, given it’s our third date, but I am unsure of how to approach this. Do I Invite her this time after our drinks, or do I invite her to my place on the next date, where she’ll be able to spend the night? 10 times. That is discussed in depth and in detail in the book. You sound like a guy who just found my work a week or two ago and does not understand the seduction process. The idea is to hang out, have fun while your hanging out, and then hook up at the end of the date.) She knows I’m off early Saturday, but I do not want her to think I’m a “pussy” if we do not end up sleeping together this time. (You should plan for that, so you’re prepared if she comes over.) The truth is, we might still go back to my place, but I’d rather have a full evening and night on the next date, next week. What do you think? (As a guy, you should be planning for an opportunity for sex to happen. If you’re always prepared, it’s not a big deal. Throw the trial close at her and see what happens.)

Thanks for your advice Corey!

Bob

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“It is a man’s role in dating and courtship to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun and hook up. Unless your intentions are strictly platonic or professional, the whole purpose of a date between a man and a woman is to explore a mutual sexual attraction and dissolve any barriers to sex happening. Men should start out making only one date per week. This gives a man time to assess a woman’s interest, compatibility and emotional stability, as well as to create and facilitate sexual attraction. Men should not be making future dates on the same day that they are on a date or had a date. Otherwise, they risk coming off as desperate, needy, creepy, stalkerish and scaring women away.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on July 21, 2015

Reader Interactions

Comments

    • I’d have to say, this is what I finally needed to know. The opposite is what I’ve been doing since I started dating. Finally, this is the healing I’ve been looking for to improve my dating world.

  1. Hey Corey,
    Hopefully you read this and can get back to me with a response. First off thank you so much for what you are doing and it has really put me on a better oarh when it comes to dating. I’m no bullshitter…I’m not much of a reader but have read your book once and am going through it for the 2nd time with a highlighter currently to refresh my skills. I have never really had “problems” getting women to date me but I’m interested in finding the most optimal women for me and the possibility of settling down when I accomplish this. So anyway my question is…. What to do when women want you to contact them often/everyday and think you are not interested when you don’t do this. I would not be asking this if it hasn’t happened “multiple” times with different women I have dated. ESPECIALLY after sex happens. I’m being as honest as possible with the women I’m dating but still trying to maintain a sense of mystery with them. But it seems like they are losing interest based on the fact that I’m not hitting them up on at least a daily basis, especially in the mornings to let th know I’m thinking about them. Do I disregard these women as insecure and not worthy of my time ? I admit I am interested in this one women in particular and even though I told her it’s none of my business what she is doing when we are not together, she still wants to hear from me periodically and I fear this will tremendously dampen my other dating potions if I gave to continually keep in touch with her throughout the day. We have been seeing each other a lot over the course of about three weeks and I feel like she is drawing me into exclusivity and boyfriend status but I’m trying to stand my ground. I’m not exactly against this she just has not said the words but still wants to keep tabs on me. I’m currently dating/seeing about 3 other women but she has sparked most of my interest except for this “possible flaw” in her character. Sorry for the long response. Just trying to sort things out.

    Best regards.
    Clifton

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This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
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