In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a female coaching client who also happens to be a psychiatrist. During our phone session, we discussed many things and challenges that she runs into being a beautiful, successful, divorced woman with three young children. She talks about how hard it is to find a good man who not only is into her, but is open to the possibility to being a father figure to her children from her first marriage. She asked me to do a video newsletter on things that men should know and understand about dating women who have children from other relationships. We also discussed a situation with a guy who she used to date and hook up with before she got married and had kids. After her divorce, she got back in touch with him, but after a year of talking he still has not made any plans with her to get together physically in person. She mentioned that the first time around, the reason she didn’t stay with him, even though he was great to hang out sexually and in person, was because he seemed to enjoy being single and a playboy. He obviously has not changed over the years and is the same. But part of the reason why he doesn’t get together physically and in person this time around is because deep down he’s not interested in being a step-dad or giving her false hope of a relationship.
So it’s really hard for me to find a man that’s got his shit together, that I’m also attracted to. I’m just now getting my body back and ready to date. I’m glad I had this other guy to get me through my divorce and pregnancy, but he’s still just a little pussy boy as far as making a definitive move, and that’s okay. So the search for a playmate is ON, and I’m so excited.
I love your work. Please train a man and then send him my way. I like cocky confident natural badasses. I have three older brothers, one younger sister, and I love being called “little girl.” If a man can play with me like this, and pull it off correctly, I’m as giddy as a little school girl that wants to jump his bones. (Like I talk about in my book, treat her like the bratty little sister.) I might even wear my Catholic girl plaid skirt while doing so, if he so desires, and IF he plays the dominant in-control man so I get to be the girl, but it does have to all be authentic. If you’re going to talk the talk, you better be able to walk the walk. James Bond has his little smirk for a reason!
The only point you are consistently leaving out, sugar, is that with all of these men learning how to play the game so well, and picking up so many women, they are losing sight of how it feels to have a broken heart. (Don’t get involved with a woman who has kids if you don’t have any desire to be a father-figure to her children. Don’t be a dickhead.) In saying that, you must now instruct them on how to date delicately and respectfully. (Don’t break a girls heart, and don’t giver her false hope.) Some girl fancies them just as much as they fancied their princesses on pedestals, and in fact, they are callously breaking many a girls’ hearts in the process of their own, much-needed, ego fluffing, which is not cool when someone shows up in my ER, suicidal over some silly girl/boy. (Be respectful of the other person, and respect their thinking.)
If you could, do a video on dating single moms. I’m curious what advice you’d give men on this, which is interesting to me from a guy’s perspective. In all of my relationships, work, family, romantically, I always try to put myself in the other person’s shoes. Do more videos in general for women on men. I’m a Psychiatrist, which is on a completely different level than a psychologist or therapist, but thanks. I pretty much know exactly what’s going on and then some, but I do read up on male psychology and human behavior quite often obviously. (She knows what to do, but her emotions are blinding her as to what is happening in her relationship.) And honestly, I don’t care to listen to women when they talk about men. It’s like asking an apple what it feels like to be an orange. Freud and Shakespeare cover a lot of ground, but there’s always more. So do some “for girls that want to rock your socks off” videos. And by the by, real women worship their man. We love to build them up, ask them questions we know they know the answer to, praise them, and we love to do almost whatever they want in bed. (You want a woman who encourages your purpose and mission.) The better you treat your man, respect, and take care of him the RIGHT way, the better man he will want to become for you. (It’s important for guys to feel successful at making women happy instead of being berated by a woman. Women should be explicit about what they expect from their man.) You had some ridiculous girl scolding you (She is referring to my video newsletter titled, “Accept Responsibility For Your Life” where I discuss an email from a woman who blames me for the fact her boyfriend dumped her after he found my work due to her controlling and militant stance that the relationship needs to be 50/50.) about how all communication/effort has to be 50/50. (In any relationship, if there is a 50/50 split in pursuit and communication, there is not enough sexual polarity to create attraction.) Although affection needs encouragement, insecurities will govern and ruin a relationship. Her thought process is based on insecurity, and therefore her anger towards you is absolute ridiculousness.
There’s nothing in your videos I didn’t already know, but hearing you lay it down is nice.
Keep ’em coming!
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When a man truly cares for a woman, and deeply loves her, he will love her children from other relationships also. When a man is only into a woman physically, and enjoys having a good time with her, but he doesn’t deeply care for her, he’s not going to want to have anything to do with her children from other relationships. Single women with children should take their time when dating men who don’t have kids of their own, to observe a man’s actions and make sure he truly cares for them, and is not just interested in using them for a booty call or quick hookup. Men should only get involved with women who have children when they truly care for the woman, and are open to the possibility of things progressing to the point where he becomes a stepfather to their children. Real men who aren’t interested in being a stepfather to someone else’s kids, should do the honorable thing, and not date women with children or give women false hope of a relationship just so they can get laid. Men who know how to seduce women successfully, also need to be responsible with that power and sex appeal that they wield, so they don’t break any hearts in the process of fulfilling their carnal desires. Real men who are honorable and who have integrity, are also concerned with the welfare and the feelings of other people who could potentially be impacted by seducing the women they desire.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne