Dating: You’re Either In Or Out

Why dating is like negotiating, because you’re either in or out, but getting stuck in limbo is failure and a weak position of leverage.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who details a recent encounter on a night out with his buddies and how he attracted the hottest woman in the bar. He shares how he successfully negotiated from a position of strength and leverage with an Instagram model who had over half a million thirsty followers, how she tested him to see how strong he was and if he was a high status man.

She tried several clever ways to make him comply and expose weakness, but all she found was masculine strength. He details how he seduced her from a position of strength and stood out from all the other thirsty men in the bar and that she gets constant attention from on Instagram. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This guy brings up some really good points from a position of negotiating. What’s interesting is, he applies everything he’s learned from me in “How To Be A 3% Man” successfully. This girl that everybody in the bar is giving attention to, he later finds out is a pretty big Instagram model as well, so you can imagine she’s got thousands and thousands of thirsty dudes giving her attention all day long. So the question becomes, “How do I set myself apart to where a woman like that would notice me?”

Well, if you’ve read “How To Be A 3% Man,” you know it’s all about becoming a high status, high value man yourself. It’s a simple principle. It doesn’t mean you’ve got to be a multi-millionaire or super good looking. Although looks help, they get you in the door, but if you don’t know what you’re doing and you act like a beta male, it won’t matter. In a very short period of time, she’ll recognize you as just another beta male, and then you’ll be treated like another fan or groupie.

As men, we always want to kind of punch above our weight. We want to get better than we deserve. Have you’ve ever had the experience like the one I’ve written about in my book where you’re out on a date, or you’re with your girlfriend, and then people look at you, they look at your date, and then they look back at you again like, “What’s she doing with that guy? She’s so much better looking.” It’s such a great feeling to be out in the world and you have an absolute smokeshow hanging on your arm, and everybody’s looking at you like, “How the fuck did that dude get her? That doesn’t compute. That’s not right.”

It’s all about the mindset, because if you look at life, we’re all surrounded by mostly mediocre people, the 97% crowd. Because the reality is, like Wayne Dyer said, “It’s never crowded along the extra mile.” Most men and women are not going to do what it takes to reach their full potential. They don’t have the internal strength, the mental strength, the physical strength, and the belief in themselves that is required. When you go for the things that you want in life, it takes a long time. You have to really develop yourself and spend a lot of time.

And me, personally, I like dating other successful women that I admire, women that have accomplished things on their own. And when I look at the overall theme of that, typically what I see is, women that come from successful families, especially where they have a high achieving father and the mother is also high achieving, they’re just naturally going to be more intelligent, more driven, more focused, more motivated than the average person is going to be.

Those kinds of women want to date top tier guys as well — guys that don’t necessarily have to be the best looking dude around, but they have to believe in themselves and have to have a level of confidence. And they have to show up in life and go for things that most people are not willing to do.

So what you’re going to see here is, this guy walks in and he acts like a top tier guy, and he gets great results. With this particular women, she really tests the hell out of him, and he just handles it beautifully. And so, it’s really a mindset. You don’t have to be a multi-millionaire. You don’t have to be super successful. The idea is being in relatively decent shape, take care of your body, do all the things that you can to make yourself attractive.

When you’re interacting with other people, whether it’s negotiation for a new job, or negotiating a pay raise, or like in this particular case, this guy’s just trying to get the girl’s phone number. But because she’s got so much attention wherever she goes, she’s used to it. She’s used to almost a hundred percent of the guys she encounters being just total beta males and being compliant to her wishes and tests of their strength. And when you love and value yourself and you know your worth, and somebody tries to do this, tries to jerk you around, you’re going to respond like somebody who has lots of choices and lots of options.

You get a really great perspective on how this guy handles himself and gives the right perception off. And obviously, he’s able to seduce this girl pretty quickly, because it’s very rare that she encounters a guy that knows what he’s doing. Her looks usually intimidate everybody online, and when she meets guys in person, they’re falling all over themselves to try to impress her, and this guy’s not really impressed. He just treats her like any other girl, like an equal would.

You’re going to see this guy, she really goes at him pretty hard, and it’s impressive the way he responds to her. Now, guys that don’t often encounter really super beautiful women like this are going to cave, thinking, “Oh, I don’t want to screw up this opportunity.” But this guy is acting like, “I deserve to be here.” He’s acting like a 3% Club member.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

Your advice works.  For starters, I’m 6’1, fit, and played sports. I’ve always been indifferent to outcomes and giving zero shits with women, turns them on.

Especially the beautiful women, because they’re used to everybody kissing their ass. Then, all of a sudden they encounter a guy who’s not — a guy whose attention and validation they actually have to earn, which is something they’re not used to, because they’ve got dudes throwing their dicks at them all the time.

Not to be egotistical, but it helps that I’m a good-looking dude. 

Yeah, but at the end of the day, if you act like a beta male once you start opening your mouth, the looks aren’t going to help you. You’ll get a little further than an unattractive dude, but at the end of the day, if you act like a beta male, you’re still a beta male in hot woman’s eyes.

Anyway, funny story. I was at a bar with buddies. A 10 walked in, and my friends were like peep this chick’s body, she’s hot. I looked and was silently salivating. I’m a man. Thank gosh I can control my emotions.

So he’s exercising self-control. He’s not going, “Oh my god, look how hot that girl is!” He might be thinking that, but he’s like, “Eh, once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all,” like you’re not impressed much.

We grab drinks and go to the outside part of the bar where the games are. Guess who shows up by us. 

Because he’s not really that impressed.

Instantly, my friends and other goofballs smother her, meanwhile I talk to her friends.

Isn’t that interesting? Let me talk to her friends. Everybody else is drooling all over her to get her attention, so let me go talk to these other girls over here. Now, a high value woman who’s used to all guys paying attention to her, and there’s this dude that’s paying no attention to her — and on top of that he’s paying attention to her friends, who obviously aren’t in her eyes as attractive as she is — she’s going to wonder, “He’s not paying attention to this? Who is this guy?”

Your book helped me here. I knew she hated that I didn’t seem interested. Truth is, I was. However, I knew she’d come around.

The idea here is that when you’re displaying that dominant, alpha male physiology, if you already have enough in your life, you already have enough women in your life, you’re not really impressed. It’s like, yeah whatever. It’s just another girl. If you know this stuff backwards and forwards like I talk about in my book and you understand body language, you can look around the room and realize that none of the dudes there believe in themselves and have the level of confidence that you do.

Right away, you automatically know and you feel you’re the most dominant guy there, and women are naturally attracted to and drawn to the most dominant guys. The most dominant guys, like the Tom Bradys, when they walk in the room, they don’t have to go up and talk to everybody. Everybody will come over to talk to them. And that’s what’s going on here. He’s just having a good time, because he’s used to people coming to him, and he’s chatting up her friends.

Everybody else is trying to get her attention, and he’s the only guy in there that’s not trying to get her attention. Now, why would he be doing that? Maybe he has a girlfriend. Maybe he has several girlfriends. Maybe he’s dating several women. Maybe he already has enough attention. Maybe he just got done having sex with a chick a few hours before he went out, and the last thing he wants to do is meet another girl. He’s already got enough in his life. He doesn’t need any more.

He is not seeking any attention or any validation from anybody, because he already has enough in his life. And when everybody is seeking this woman’s attention and validation, and there’s only one guy in there that’s not paying attention to her, she’s going to wonder why. What does that do? It naturally causes her to try to seek his attention and validation. Why? Because he is a high status man, and that’s what she wants and feels she deserves deep down. Therefore she’s naturally going to flow over there.

I’ve written about this extensively in “How To Be A 3% Man,” and I’ve talked about it in countless videos. If you apply the things I teach in there, it’ll work. You just go out and have fun with your friends, have a good time and be the center of attention, and the hot women will just naturally migrate over the course of the evening to where you are so they can check you out and talk to you.

They always do in those situations. Besides, I was buzzed and her friends were, so fuck it. 

After I got my ass kicked by some old dude in ping pong, she walks over to me and says, “You lost because you haven’t talked to me.”  

She’s pretty cocky.

I responded, “Your friends seemed more fun.”

Oh, that’s a great comeback. I love that. Cocky. It just shows you’re like, “Eh, you don’t impress me.”

She smiled and asked, “Why aren’t you drinking?” She had a drink in her hand, so I grabbed it and said “I am,” while taking a drink.

That’s pretty cocky, dude. Now you’re already swapping spit with her, and you don’t even know her name yet.

She laughed again. Internally I was like, this shit is too easy.

Well, “How To Be A 3% Man” does give you an unfair advantage for those who have the balls and are willing to apply it. And obviously, those who are applying what they read in “Mastering Yourself” have to develop themselves to become more self-reliant men.

She said some banter, I responded with I’m rubber and you’re glue. She was eating this shit up. 

It came time to leave, and I asked for her number.

Here’s where it really matters. Now, keep in mind, this is a woman that just has so much attention and so much male validation. She’s probably got a couple of guys that she’s going out with, maybe hooking up with, maybe not, and so she’s used to getting what she wants. She’s used to messing around with guys. And so, despite the fact that his banter is good and he’s done everything textbook, this next paragraph is where he really shows his skills.

She replied, “You can have my Instagram.” She showed me her page while looking at my face, searching for approval. She had about 630k followers, as if I’m supposed to be impressed.

So in other words, shes’ like, “Hey you can have my Instagram, and then follow me with 630 thousand other dudes.” It’s kind of like a test, are you going to be different? Or are you just going to be like, “Okay, I’ll follow you on Instagram your highness.”

I said “Nah, I’m good” in a playful way. She said, “Here’s my Snapchat.” I declined with banter. I smirked and said, “I’ll see you around.” 

He didn’t even ask her a second time. His body language is like, “I’m not interested in being one of your fans.”

I turned, she grabbed my arm and said, “Ugh, here’s my number.” I said, “Call me so that I can have it.”

He told her what to do. Women like to be told what to do.

She did. 

She was compliant and submissive. Why? Because she had met a member of the 3% Club.

I left and had 5 missed calls in one hour. I was drunk, so I didn’t answer.

Good call. Good move, bro.

The next day she was on her back. Long story short, I’ve always been a clown.  Old me pulled women, but not like that. Your book taught me about my value and that putting anyone on a pedestal sets yourself up for failure. Just wanted to say thanks! 

Best Regards,

Bob

This is a simple success story that you can think about and contemplate on, so when you’re in a situation like this and inside you’re like, “Oh my god, this girl is so fucking hot,” just remember this guy. Remember how he handled it. All of life is a negotiation. You don’t get what you deserve in life, you only get what you negotiate.

“In a negotiation, the person who has more to lose is always in the weaker position of leverage. When it comes to dating, high value men can set themselves apart from low value men by developing their physique, being healthy and focusing on their mission and purpose in life so they can reach their full potential. High value women set themselves apart by being physically fit, hot, fun and having a purpose that is exciting and compelling to them. Successful men and women are used to getting what they want and expect to succeed eventually, even when the odds are not in their favor. When you love, value and respect yourself, you’ll never agree to terms that are less than what you really want and deserve. In every negotiation, somebody always gets sold. You’ll either sell them on why they should give you what you want, or they will sell you on why they shouldn’t.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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