Dealing With Sudden Death

How to deal with the sudden death of a loved one so you can feel the pain, heal it and move on with your life, without getting caught up in endless suffering, guilt, anger, etc.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how studying my work has changed his outlook on life, relationships and his own emotions. His son passed away unexpectedly about three weeks ago. He spent time feeling and being present with his sadness, but he did not let it hijack him to the point that he got stuck in an endless loop of suffering and guilt due to some emotional strategies he has learned from me.

I discuss what our emotions mean, how to experience them fully, how to feel the pain that is there, but be able to quickly move on and get back to enjoying life, and how this approach can also help you quickly get over a breakup, loss of a job or major setbacks in life. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.

Corey,

I have so many acquaintances that were broken at one time. I share some small tidbits that I have learned from you and seriously changed their entire lives. Not just getting them laid more often, but their entire outlook on life. (You can take what I’ve spent my life learning and mastering, and apply it to your own life. You have the ability to influence everyone around you and make their lives better as well. That’s paying it forward.) I wish I could just claim the knowledge as my own, but I end up sharing your channel with them. I’m certain that your material has taken more than one returning vet away from eating a gun, to seeing life in an entirely different way. (I coach a lot of active and retired military guys.) I am a huge fan of your teachings, as my own life has transformed over the past couple of years since I’ve been learning from you. Thanks for what you do. YOU ROCK! (I appreciate that.)

I know most people follow you for relationship advice. I’ve really benefited from that, but emotions are some crazy things, and over the past two years following you, I learned so much about my own emotions, that it has really helped me with the death of my son. He was killed in a work accident about three weeks ago. I’ve seen this situation turn people into a real mess for years, but after about ten days, I woke up, the sand bags were not tied to my ankles any more, and I got back to work. (You’ve got to feel it to heal it. You’ve got to get into the depth of the sadness and loss. If you surrender to the energy, it moves through you and dissolves. However, if you avoid dealing with the energy, it gets stored as muscle tension and it locks into your physiology. Network Chiropractic Care will loosen the muscles that are locked up around your spine.) It’s still sad, (As time goes by, the negative emotional charge dissipates. It’s essential to surrender to and experience the emotions. It’s just stuck energy. What happens to you in life does not define you. What defines you is the meaning that you give things.), but I’m accepting the sadness for what it is and processing through it, instead of turning it into a different emotion, like guilt, anger, etc. (The reality is, when people exit the world, their time was up. If you look at it from that perspective, you won’t become emotionally hijacked. If they still had things to do on their life path, they would have still been here. When you don’t accept reality as it is, you’re going to suffer.)

I had to write and thank you for all that you do. My son had over 300 people at his funeral, and there were three tailgate parties in the parking lot while the wake was going on. (That’s fucking awesome.) It was epic! Everyone loved him, and I have absolutely no regrets about our relationship. My sons never stop making me proud. (That’s amazing. The fact that 300 people showed up to his funeral is just more evidence that he did what he was supposed to do while he was here. He accomplished his life purpose. Life is a gift. Enjoy every moment of it. It’s obvious your son did.)

Thanks again Corey!

Bob

“Everyone has to deal with setbacks and disappointments in life. The key is to not let difficult life events such as sudden job loss, death of a loved one, breakups, business failure, rejection, etc., hijack you and keep you in an endless loop of suffering, anger, disappointment, etc. Emotions and problems are a sign of life. However, most people do not feel comfortable experiencing their emotions, especially the unpleasant ones. When a negative life event happens and we try to avoid the emotions it brings on, this emotional energy gets stored as muscle tension in our nervous system. This causes health problems as we age. What you resist in life will persist. The solution is to be authentically present with, embrace and feel the emotion, without judgment or resistance to feel it and heal it. By letting the emotion overcome you so you can experience the anger, fear, pain, sadness, loss, etc., this will allow the energy to move through your nervous system, dissolve and lose it’s negative charge and ability to hijack you emotionally. This is exactly how children experience emotions before friends, family and society forces its dysfunctional emotional avoidance patterns onto them. Kids are our greatest teachers.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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