It’s always best to make a fresh start and find someone new once you have blown your chances with someone you really like. The danger in not moving on, is that you will get hung up on a woman you can not have, which will keep you from meeting a woman you can have. As time goes by, human beings tend to forget the negative emotional impact or bad things that happened in their relationships previously. We literally look at our past through rose colored glasses as time moves on. If a woman thinks you are a jerk or a putz who is clueless when it comes to creating attraction, and then you do the work on yourself to become a man who understands attraction, it’s possible a woman who rejected you in the past will forget the bad things and give you a second chance. I have gotten second chances before. They are extremely rare, but they do happen.
I wrote about this particular incident in my book. It should be considered the exception to the rule. I went out on a date with a woman who I really wanted for a long time. She always had a boyfriend and was therefore unavailable. However, I ran into her when she was recently single. I made a date and everything went perfect. However, when she did not call me back in the time I expected her to, I became impatient and assumed she was blowing me off. I wrote her a nasty e-mail telling her how pissed off I was at her. She was actually on vacation and therefore out of town and unavailable. She wasn’t too happy with me when she got back and found my e-mail. I felt like a jackass. I completely blew my chances unnecessarily all because I was needy, insecure and impatient. She blew me off.
Almost 4 years went by. In that four years, I had gotten my shit together and finally learned to understand what women wanted and how to handle my interactions with them successfully. I was walking downtown with a friend of mine. There she was after four years. She was just as radiant and beautiful as ever! I only stayed to talk for a minute or so, and then I said I had to run to catch up with my buddy. We were both pretty shocked to have seen each other after all of this time. I figured if I had any chance, she would contact me. This was a Friday night. On Monday I got an e-mail from her telling me how surprised she was to see me and expressing her disappointment that I did not stick around to chat longer. She made it easy for me, and this time… I was prepared. I took full advantage of my second chance. That is why you must move on when you have blown it. Maybe someday you will run into each other again when you have your shit together. Like I said before, it’s the exception rather than the rule. The following is an e-mail from a reader. He acted needy and blew his chances with a girl he really liked. He wants to know the likelihood of his getting a second chance. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Corey,
I’ve heard some of your YouTube videos and I like what you have to say. I do have a question though. Is it possible to get back a woman you like, AFTER you’ve been “needy”? (Yes, but it is slim to none. If she has blown you off, then you need to move on and start meeting and dating other women. Maybe you will hear from her down the road. Maybe not. That is why you should take the time to practice what I teach on new women so you can learn how to properly apply what I teach. Then, if your girl contacts you again, you will know where you went wrong in the past so you can start doing the right things going forward.) I like a this woman, we’ve hung out a bit for about 4 months, and the texts and conversation has stopped. (That is a sign you have done and said things that turned her off.) I’ve been examining my life and my life with her, and she’s drifted. That’s my only question. I like to hear your input. (You need to read my book ASAP! You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
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**Free with a new Audible.com membership
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
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Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Chance favors only those minds which are prepared.” – Louis Pasteur
You are here: Home/Attraction/ Do Women Give Second Chances?
Published on February 9, 2012
About Coach Corey Wayne
Corey Wayne is Life and Peak Performance Coach. He helps men and women to achieve their dreams, discover their purpose, improve their relationships, start a business, improve personal health & fitness, maximize time management, become a superstar in sales, set & achieve their most audacious goals, become a leader, be better team builders, break through their deepest fears and limiting beliefs, overcome difficult life challenges, lose weight and regain balance in all areas of their lives, including personal finances and wealth building.
Reader Interactions
Comments
Keith Uphamsays
Dear Corey,
Timing is everything, as they say! If only I had discovered your website a month earlier. I met a woman on Match.com and had a great first date…drinks, dinner, great conversation and lots of making out tha followed. Because I am self employed, and because I am a “constant communicator ” I thought nothing of texting her throughout the day to say hello, ask how her day was going etc. She’s a single mom of 3 (8, 10, 13) and has a high level job with a public internet travel company. She is a self proclaimed workaholic. So based on this I thought nothing of getting to know her through texting, in lieu of and in between our dates. I should mention that Im divorced for a year, have a daughter of my own and only just began dating at the end of the summer. We met just before Thanksgiving, when we had our first date. And again, I was elated as I had dated about 5 women since Labor Day, with only marginal enthusiasm. Our chats were playful banter but I soon recognized that I was more “chatty” than she. We joked about it and she (jokingly) said “stop acting like a millenial”. Anyway, when I asked when we could get together again her response was “You are of interest. I think you are very smart, engaging and funny. It has been fun getting to know you. But I just may not be in a place where I can do this right now. ” to which I responded “I’m ok with slow and steady. And perhaps I gave the impression that I would be more demanding of your time. I respect that you are in a demanding position with your career, a full time mom, house manager etc. So if you were being honest (and there is interest) I am a person of great patience, especially in matters of the heart. ” The she respnded with “I will leave the patience decision up to you. But what I know is that I have very little free time and you have a lot of free time. And that could be a concern”
The texting continued for about a week when she then invited me out for a impromptu drink after work. I met her for drinks and we had a nice kissing session after a few hours of more great conversation. Two days later she send me this text “Keith, I’m not trying to play games and yo yo you around, but I think I will go back to where I was earlier this week. I have enjoyed getting to know you, but I am not in place to move forward with a relationship right now. I’m sorry and I wish you the best of luck.” I tried to back peddle and tell her I’m not looking to take away from her home or career life, blah, blah, blah, and I know that she likes me etc. and to please not write off what we started as I knew it was off to a great start. 5 days later I sent a “checking in” text with no response. At this point I discovered your website and began to serial watch you videos, and smacked myself in the forehead more than once!
What, if anything, can I do to see if the interest might still be there. Besides the holidays, there was a new product launch that her team was working to complete by years end and very demanding of her time. And sorry for saying this, but my divorce and the seasonality of my business has put me in a tight cash position, otherwise, I’d be signing up for an hours worth of advice. Maybe a small donation would be enough to coax you into replying with a few lines?
I cant think of any alpha males who would want them back with so much choice available when they are gone. Sure, there are women we get hooked into emotionally because of great experiences together but if those experiences were so binding, then we would still be dating/married to them. Either you blew it or they blew it. Besides, who wants them back after they’ve had belly full of another guys spunk. I don’t do sloppy seconds! I`ve had 3 women want come back to me after they ended it. I was upset, emotional, very unmanly but I hurt and let them go. Corey is right, they forget the things they disliked and remember all the good stuff, then creep back. Trust me the women do all the things you do, drive-bys, facebook stalking, asking people about you, they arent any different. They let you know and do the work for you. But I never took any of them back. I gave them the gift of missing me forever. There is no real way of knowing what the woman wants; space? they really hate you? found another guy? got bored? So the only way is to let them come back and chase you. Thing is most guys don’t know this, if they did, they’d just get on and be themselves, get laid elsewhere and not worry discovering something you`ll never know. It`s not a magic bullet, sure as a guy you love and trust and get caught out by the “smart dressers, smelly knickers” who love to play around. It does hurt but you have to have the strength to move on. Sometimes that`s harder than said.
Keith Upham says
Dear Corey,
Timing is everything, as they say! If only I had discovered your website a month earlier. I met a woman on Match.com and had a great first date…drinks, dinner, great conversation and lots of making out tha followed. Because I am self employed, and because I am a “constant communicator ” I thought nothing of texting her throughout the day to say hello, ask how her day was going etc. She’s a single mom of 3 (8, 10, 13) and has a high level job with a public internet travel company. She is a self proclaimed workaholic. So based on this I thought nothing of getting to know her through texting, in lieu of and in between our dates. I should mention that Im divorced for a year, have a daughter of my own and only just began dating at the end of the summer. We met just before Thanksgiving, when we had our first date. And again, I was elated as I had dated about 5 women since Labor Day, with only marginal enthusiasm. Our chats were playful banter but I soon recognized that I was more “chatty” than she. We joked about it and she (jokingly) said “stop acting like a millenial”. Anyway, when I asked when we could get together again her response was “You are of interest. I think you are very smart, engaging and funny. It has been fun getting to know you. But I just may not be in a place where I can do this right now. ” to which I responded “I’m ok with slow and steady. And perhaps I gave the impression that I would be more demanding of your time. I respect that you are in a demanding position with your career, a full time mom, house manager etc. So if you were being honest (and there is interest) I am a person of great patience, especially in matters of the heart. ” The she respnded with “I will leave the patience decision up to you. But what I know is that I have very little free time and you have a lot of free time. And that could be a concern”
The texting continued for about a week when she then invited me out for a impromptu drink after work. I met her for drinks and we had a nice kissing session after a few hours of more great conversation. Two days later she send me this text “Keith, I’m not trying to play games and yo yo you around, but I think I will go back to where I was earlier this week. I have enjoyed getting to know you, but I am not in place to move forward with a relationship right now. I’m sorry and I wish you the best of luck.” I tried to back peddle and tell her I’m not looking to take away from her home or career life, blah, blah, blah, and I know that she likes me etc. and to please not write off what we started as I knew it was off to a great start. 5 days later I sent a “checking in” text with no response. At this point I discovered your website and began to serial watch you videos, and smacked myself in the forehead more than once!
What, if anything, can I do to see if the interest might still be there. Besides the holidays, there was a new product launch that her team was working to complete by years end and very demanding of her time. And sorry for saying this, but my divorce and the seasonality of my business has put me in a tight cash position, otherwise, I’d be signing up for an hours worth of advice. Maybe a small donation would be enough to coax you into replying with a few lines?
Thanks in advance!
Keith
Chris says
I cant think of any alpha males who would want them back with so much choice available when they are gone. Sure, there are women we get hooked into emotionally because of great experiences together but if those experiences were so binding, then we would still be dating/married to them. Either you blew it or they blew it. Besides, who wants them back after they’ve had belly full of another guys spunk. I don’t do sloppy seconds! I`ve had 3 women want come back to me after they ended it. I was upset, emotional, very unmanly but I hurt and let them go. Corey is right, they forget the things they disliked and remember all the good stuff, then creep back. Trust me the women do all the things you do, drive-bys, facebook stalking, asking people about you, they arent any different. They let you know and do the work for you. But I never took any of them back. I gave them the gift of missing me forever. There is no real way of knowing what the woman wants; space? they really hate you? found another guy? got bored? So the only way is to let them come back and chase you. Thing is most guys don’t know this, if they did, they’d just get on and be themselves, get laid elsewhere and not worry discovering something you`ll never know. It`s not a magic bullet, sure as a guy you love and trust and get caught out by the “smart dressers, smelly knickers” who love to play around. It does hurt but you have to have the strength to move on. Sometimes that`s harder than said.