This is a question from a client who had a woman say something that sounds positive… and… could potentially be a test of his strength. He gets pissed off instead of remaining centered.
Here’s his original email:
I have a question. Who the hell does a woman think she is fooling when she pulls this line, “Being different is not a bad thing.” I feel like saying “Yeah but, its not quite good enough now, is it?”
Here is my response to his question:
Never assume a woman is trying to diminish you. Even if she is, you must NOT be diminished by her words. “Yeah but, its not quite good enough now, is it?” Never say something like that to a woman. It communicates, “yep, I know you think I’m a loser, and I just wanted you to know that I am. So no need to give me the time of day. I will crawl away with my head down now.” Act as if her tossing her panties at you is simply a matter of time and act accordingly. As if you knew you could not fail and it was in the bag.
Rent the movie with Pierce Brosnan called “The Tailor of Panama” in which he plays a spy who is cockier than James Bond. He acts as if every woman is going to end up in his bed at some point. Let them protest, bitch and deny he will get in their pants. It always happens in the end. He endures incredible insults and always has a better comeback. If a chick blows you off, act as if you had the mindset… “you’ll be back.” In the meantime, you spend your time with your other sex kittens who are constantly blowing up your phone asking to see you. Look at each woman as just a possibility. Most women who you think are so awesome, you will realize when you get to know them, are really not that great and not great long term relationship material. Take your time finding Mrs. Right. The more women you approach, date and have relationships with, the more you will see that what I said about women is the case. The better you get with women, the pickier you will become. You will see you have choices. When you see that you have choices, you will endeavor to become the man who would always win his favorite choices with women. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start, to be great. Its a mindset. Even if you don’t feel it yet, you’ve got to fake it ’til you make it. Then you will see it’s real, once you follow what I teach.
Embrace who you are. Speak your truth lovingly and without fear. What happens next is not important. You are a man who lives his purpose. You will apologize for nothing. Your greatness is nothing to apologize for. Bring your gifts to the world. God made you the way he did for a reason. He knew what he was doing. Follow your heart and be who you are. People who do not accept you are just testing to see if you really believe in who you are. If you demonstrate to them that you do, then they will then follow you. You are a leader. The word “lead” means to go first. You are going first because you are asking questions and trying to get better. Strive to demand more from yourself than anyone else you know, your coaches, friends, co-workers, etc. Michael Jordan, the hall of fame NBA player, attributed that mindset to be the primary driver behind his amazing success.
Try it out and let me know what happens.
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur