Why you should never argue with or be a jerk to your girl, but instead you should always be charming, sweet, playful and learn to lovingly communicate like an adult. Men who understand women do not argue with them.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss how to communicate your needs and your wants to your woman, because a lot of guys, when a woman doesn’t do what he thinks she’s going to do, what she should do, or he wants her to do, he tends to get pissed off and upset, pull back, and pout like a little baby.
And that’s kind of how this guy is acting. He has created this whole drama with his girlfriend, which is completely fucking unnecessary. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
I’ve been seeing this girl for over a year. A week ago, I texted her that I was coming over that evening, and I couldn’t wait to get her in the shower the way she loved it. I never received a reply telling me yes or no.
Well, you texted her to say “Hey, I’m coming over to fuck you” basically, and if you know your girlfriend, you’ve been dating this girl for a year, why should you get upset? If you asked her and you’re waiting for a reply, that’s one thing, but you said, “Hey I’m coming over to fuck you.” You’re basically communicating a dominant theme here: “I’m coming over to fuck you the way you like it in the shower.”
A woman is normally going to be thinking, “Whoo.” If you’ve got a really great, tight relationship, and you say something like that to her, she’s expecting that. So, I don’t think that’s a big deal, not getting a text back.
To me, it’s a submissive thing so she can just wait, thinking, “When is he going to show up?” She’s just sitting at home thinking about you, salivating about you, getting wet — just getting herself all wound up sexually, because you’re going to arrive at some moment.
Since I didn’t get a text message or call back, I went home a bit annoyed and sent her a text telling her that I went home since she never replied about me coming over, and she probably had things to do. She replies, “What?! I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to see you. I was waiting for you all this time, and I thought you were coming over just like you do sometimes without letting me know.”
I’ve only shown up at her place unannounced a total of two times in a year. Give me a break. I always let her know I’m coming over in case she’s doing something.
Well, from what you shared from me, you basically told her “I’m coming over to fuck you.” It wasn’t like, “Hey, can I come over and fuck you?” or “Hey, I’d like to come over and see you. I want to come over and do some really fucking naughty things to you. Are you going to be around?” or “I’m going to come over there and fuck the shit out of you. Are you going to be around for the next hour or two?” Send that. And if she doesn’t reply, then obviously she misses out on your little get together. It was completely unnecessary the way you reacted, getting all butt-hurt over that.
She started to get emotional and I probably screwed up by bringing up other personal issues about how our relationship could be better based on a clear communication.
I would say, it’s your fucking fault. You were a little vague in your text.
And how her bad experience with other guys always seem to intervene, and she always ends up comparing me to bad past experiences. What the fuck? This went back and forth.
Now you’re arguing with a woman. Now you’re trying to win a pointless argument based on logic and reason, and the reason it’s escalating is because she’s getting upset because you hurt her by what you said.
I noticed it escalating back and forth and she started taking some jabs, and then all I could remember texting back was something to the effect of, “I can understand why older men, including some of my friends, go for women half their age, since they don’t have to deal with the drama, bullshit relationship decisions and experience that an older woman will bring up from her past.” We’re in our mid-forties.
It’s like the worst fucking thing you can say to a woman, dude. You just told her, “Ah, fuck you. I’m going to get somebody younger, you fucking old bitch. You’re too old for me.” Women know that us guys are visual creatures. That is an innate fear that women have as they get older, that they’re going to lose their attractiveness. And if they lose their attractiveness, that their man is going to leave them for a younger, prettier girl. It’s horrible what you fucking said. Shame on you for that.
Then she replied with basically “Fuck off.” I pulled back completely and I’m waiting for her to come to me and apologize for this disrespect, if she ever does. I want to communicate with her, but I feel she should be the one making strides to apologize. Should I be the one to make things right first, since I did hurt her feelings?
Yeah, you were a fucking dick, dude. This is the way I would handle it. You say, “You know what, I thought about it and, you know, I acted like a total immature jackass. I got all bent out of shape.” You were both excited to see each other and fuck each others brains out, but instead you got bent out of shape, because you did a shitty job of communicating in your text.
If you were unsure of whether or not she was there or not, you would have said, “Hey, are you going to be around? I’ve got a surprise for you. It’s big and it’s round, it has a head on it, and it’s not a quarter.” I would have texted something playful like that. You should never be a dick to your girl, because James Bond never gets upset about anything. He has the attitude of, hey, it’s only a matter of time. I mean, come on dude.
So, you need to make this right. You need to apologize to her for what you did and what you said. This is what you need to say: “I know what I said about the old woman comment. I was just all butt-hurt, and I really wanted to see you, and I wanted to fuck you. I was thinking about you all day, and I was acting like a little bitch, like a little immature boy, like ‘I’m taking my toys and I’m going home’ kind of thing, and I’m really sorry.”
You need to apologize to her for that and let her talk. Make sure she does 70% of the talking, and when it’s resolved, when it’s time for great makeup sex, she’ll do this, she’ll go, “Oh, I feel so much better. I’m so glad we talked.” And then you just go for it, even if she’s on her period. You’re going to make love to her and ravish her the way you said you were going to the other day.
But you’ve got to make sure that if she’s talking you say, “What else baby? Tell me more. Don’t leave anything out.” She’ll probably be crying like, “It hurt me so much,” mascara will be running. You say, “I’m sorry sweetie. I know, I acted like a total douchebag. It was wrong. I’ve though about it over the past several days, and I’m really sorry. I understand how I really hurt you.”
If you haven’t read my book yet, you need to read my book, “How To Be A 3% Man.”
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur