Don’t Become Her Butler

How to become her boyfriend instead of her “friend” or “butler” with “no benefits.” The key to maintaining a woman’s high level of romantic interest in you, and sending it higher, is to make sure that she thinks that she likes you more than you like her. It’s always better if a woman is unsure of where she stands with you. Why? If she is unsure, she will seek to make herself sure of where she stands with you by calling, texting, dropping by, e-mail, etc. to get confirmation. If she knows exactly where she stands with you, there is no mystery or anything to be curious about. You are a known quantity to her. When a guy becomes fearful that he may not get the girl he really wants, he tries to force things to happen faster. This interferes in the natural way women learned as little girls how to get the attention and love of their fathers. When a little girl wants to be reassured that daddy loves her, she usually goes and sits in his lap or does something to get his attention so he will acknowledge and reassure her that he loves her. Women repeat this same pattern in adulthood with the men they desire, or the men who they are in a relationship with. If a guy is constantly trying to chase, call and pursue a woman to get certainty that she will become his, she will reject him because his behavior is weak and unnatural. He simply does not act the way she grew up being conditioned to expect to have to work to get the love and reassurance she seeks from a man. Women go to the mountain, the mountain does not come to them; only other women come to them. If you chase, you act like a woman would act. The following is an email from a reader. He started out strong after meeting a woman in a local internet chat room. They later met and things started to get hot and heavy. However, he got a little too over-eager, and in his mad dash to rush the romance process, he fumbled the football and has been put into the dreaded “friends only zone.” He’s also starting to become her butler/career counselor in his desperation to have contact with her. It’s a bad way to go, with the only potential reward being… a case of blue balls. Here’s how he can turn it around. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his email:

Hi,

I met a gal from a local chat room. We started talking for about 1 to 2 hours every night. For some reason she started telling me about some guy who was supposed to get her a job. They ended up having sex on their second time hanging out together. (Probably because she was thinking about you in the same way. You were making her feel the same kind of attraction she felt for him. She was hoping the same kind of thing could happen between you two. That you’d have sex by the second time you got together. You got to pay attention to things like that my man.)

I bought the gal airtime, but she kind of disappeared right after that. (You were trying too hard and chasing too much. That’s why women become flakey.) After a week or two, I sent her messages telling her that some day she should come and hang out as buddies. We got together. I liked it. She was hugging me, touching my head and upper body. (Good signs. Women touch you when they like you and when they feel safe and comfortable.)

Finally, I told her that the friendship alone is not enough. (That’s one way to be direct and express what you want.) Then she said, “we’re not friends. We’re just getting to know each other.” (Translation: If you hang back enough and wait for me to come to you at my own pace, anything’s possible between us.) So we kept in touch… well, I kept calling her. (You did not give her enough space to miss you, and to feel her feelings for you. Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. As she wonders about you and talks about you with her girlfriends, her interest level is going up. This happens while you do nothing except focus on your purpose and mission in life. The space between contact builds the sexual tension. By only calling once a week to set up your next date and doing everything right as I teach in my book on your dates, she will start to initiate contact when she does not want to wait for you to call again. She will contact you in hopes you get the hint she wants you to set up the next date. This causes her to start chasing you more and more. It’s impossible to get dumped by a woman who is chasing you and trying to make you all hers.)

On valentines day she came to visit. We listened to music and had wine. She kept dancing and singing. When it was time for her to leave, we kissed. She kept holding my dick. She even gave me her picture. After 5 days she says that I love her, and that I’m going to get hurt because she can’t meet me halfway. She said she’d rather visit as a buddy and no kissing. (That is because you were starting to act dopey. Translation: “You’re acting weak and dopey, and don’t really know what you are doing with women, or how attraction works. Therefore, I’m going to reject you and break your heart as your interest level in me goes up, and you continue to drive my interest level in you down.”)

Out of desperation to be in contact with her again, I sent her an SMS telling her that I found a job for her. (That’s a bad idea. Now you are acting like a butler or her friend with no benefits. This is desperate weak, needy behavior. This turns women off.) She said she needed to sort her life out, (Translation: “I need space! You are suffocating me and making me feel uncomfortable.) but now I can’t even call her because she just seems concerned about the job. (That is because you told a lie and are trying to trick her into having a relationship with you. That’s weak dude. Unmanly behavior. Now you act like a friend/butler instead of a lover.) I don’t know what to do, please help. (Stop calling her and acting like a friend. Wait until she calls you. If she asks about the job, tell her you were mistaken. Then ask her if she’d like to meet for some drinks. Set a definite date. If she says no, then tell her to call you if she changes her mind. Then walk away and wait until the next time she calls you. When she does, try to set a definite date again. More than likely she will say yes if she calls you a 2nd time. In the meantime, get busy reading my book and practicing what it teaches on every woman you meet. Start getting good at the 3 different ways to seduce women. You should also download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)

Yours Sincerely,

Mpume

“Nothing can sabotage winning, except for fear of losing. Success usually lies just beyond failure.” ~ Cortes