Don’t Waste Your Time Like This

Here’s a recent email I received from a client:

Hi Corey,

How are you doing my friend? I enjoy your emails from your clients very much. I hope you are in good health and blessed. Like I was telling my daughter, we have to thank God for all things good and bad and take all our worries and burdens to God in prayer.

Well, I need your advice. I met a woman in church. She is always by herself or with a girlfriend. Over a year, I have met her three or four times. The first time, we made eye contact. The second time, I hugged her and shook her hand, and she told me her name and asked me if I had eaten. I told her that I did, and I said it was nice seeing her and left to sit down, as I was not feeling well. I knew she wanted to talk, and I felt bad. I later looked across the room, and I saw her staring at me with the look like, I cannot believe you walked away like that. She was not aware that I was not feeling well, because I did not want to tell her that. During the night, she kept sitting close to me, so that I would notice her. So one time I got up and said, what the heck, I am going to talk to her even though I am feeling like crap, and as soon as I got up, she got up and took off. Somehow, I got into this woman’s head and was making some sort of impact, whether good or bad, due to her reactions.

The third time I saw her, we talked for what seemed like hours, even though it was just minutes, as a seminar was in progress. Again, she stood in front of me so close that I could have just leaned over and kissed her, and you know I was just eager to. We talked like we had known each other all our lives, and it seemed like our chemistry was in sync 100%. I was asking her questions, and she asked me if I was going to be at another seminar. I told her I would and asked her if she was going to go, and I do not think she responded. We talked about health matters, as we are both into health. We have a lot in common. She told me she was married and had two kids, and that she did not have a spiritual connection to her husband, but that everything else was okay. I think I told her that I would keep her situation in prayer. I am not sure what brought this up, but I might have said that people who are not spiritually discerned look upon spiritual matters as foolishness. She could also be telling me she just wants to be friends. Her actions could mean she is planning an exit strategy. I do not know. She wants to keep talking to me, but I am the one that ends the conversation first. I am a bit of a mystery to her, and she has gotten very curious. Well, I do not like the fact that she is married, because it will become very complicated, but I like talking to her, and I wished she was single. I do not know how far to take this.

Could you please give me some pointers for the next time we meet on what I should do, what I should say, or how much time I should spend with her? It seems that the more I keep walking away first, the more she is pursuing me. We very rarely see each other, and I want to keep in contact with her, but do not want to ask for her contact information, because she is married.

I could use your advice,

Tom.

Here’s my response to Tom’s email:

Hi Tom,

This woman is married. She is not available. How would you feel if some guy was trying to rip off your wife?

“She did not have a spiritual connection to her husband but that everything else was okay.”

That statement is all you need to hear. She sounds happy with her husband, other than the lack of a spiritual connection. Focus your energy on meeting and dating women who are available and single. You will waste your years and life away chasing after unavailable women.

From my heart to yours,

Corey