How to tell when you’ve got a chance with a girl you like & when you should cut your losses and move on to find someone else! One of the hardest things for an egocentric man to admit to himself is, that not all women who he finds attractive, are going to be attracted to him. Sometimes no matter how much you like a girl, you simply don’t do it for her. Even if you think she is the most beautiful woman in the world. If she thinks you are a troll, then to her you’re a troll. You can’t take it personally. You simply need to move on to the next woman. At the end of the day when you meet a woman you like you simply want to know the answer to one simple question, “Honey, are you in, or are you out?” Not that you are going to say it in that way, but you simply want to know as quick as possible upon meeting a woman, if you have any chance with her at all. Men and women both tend to project their own high romantic interest level onto the person they desire without noticing or even looking to see if the feeling is mutual. Ignoring the reality that the woman you like doesn’t like you, can lead to enormous setbacks in your pickup, dating and relationship life. People who continue to stay fixated on lovers they cannot have or ever be with, do so because they feel moving on to find someone new would be more painful than staying fixated on what they can not have. Human beings in general will always do more to avoid pain, than they will do to gain pleasure. They think going after what they want will be a lot more uncomfortable than staying fixated on what they cannot have. Most people will always choose unhappiness over taking risks and pursuing their dreams. The following is an e-mail I got from a reader. He is bullshitting himself into believing that he can force a girl he likes, but who is uninterested in him, to fall for him and become his girlfriend. He tells himself the reason why she ignores him is simply because she does not know him. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
My standards are so high, I only have one girl on my mind. (Translation: I don’t want to try and find someone else. That would require work on my part. It’s much easier to stay fixated on this girl who does not want me. Then I can blame her as the reason why I don’t have a girlfriend.) She may assume that I don’t understand women enough by failing one of her tests, but these tests are weak, immature and do not prove the real me. (It’s not about you. All women test men to determine the type of guy they are really dealing with. Their tests let them know if you are a freak, a potential stalker, a control freak, if you understand women, etc. They are the weaker sex physically, so they must be good at spotting and blowing off the stalkers and abusive men so they stay safe. If you act like a stalker, women will avoid you like the plague.) It’s an immature test that has never proven itself in history. (It’s how they protect themselves physically, as well as their hearts. You are ignoring reality.) She don’t call me cause she doesn’t know me. (You’re bullshitting yourself. She doesn’t call you because she does not like you romantically.) A lot of women have the theory they are not supposed to call guys. (Not so much these days. Even if they were taught they should not call men, they do it anyways. Confident women call guys they want.) I want to call her and will, I don’t care if she’s not interested. (Why? Do you plan on becoming a stalker? Grow a set of balls and move on to find a woman who you actually have a chance with. You are wasting your valuable and limited time on this planet carrying a torch for a woman who does not share a mutual attraction for you.) We are both on probation. (No, you’re not even on probation. You did not make the cut in her book. The only way she could be on dating probation with you is if she actually liked you, and went out on dates with you.) I have to get to know her. (Never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you. Get to know someone who actually wants to get to know you. You can’t force women to like you.) Maybe I can create non-chasing questions and opinions. (Listen to how silly that statement sounds. The very act of you calling her and trying to make or force things to happen and progress, is chasing. There is NO EFFORT coming from her side. You are simply projecting your high interest level onto her and ignoring the fact she does not feel the same.) I text her what motivates her in life and she answers. I text her “can you name some old films in your collection?” and she doesn’t answer that text. (That is because she has no interest in you. Women make it obvious when they like you.) It’s silly that women are programmed to go for a guy that’s not interested in who they really are. (They are not programmed that way. Women feel attraction to men who ask the right questions to get to know them. However, you must pass her minimum physical attraction test in order to have a chance with her. You either make the cut or you don’t. Attraction isn’t a choice. You either push enough of their buttons or you don’t. Don’t take it personally. Just move on to the next one when you get rejected.) It’s breeding morons that are not interested in finding their real self as well. (Another excuse you make to bullshit yourself into not taking any action to improve your situation. You must participate in your own rescue. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
Ignoring the truth, does not make it go away.