Dump Her If She’s Always Upset & Threatens Breakups

Why you should dump & run from women who are always upset & threaten breakups.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how his toxic relationship finally ended with his now ex-girlfriend who was always unhappy, threatening breakups for imaginary infractions and constantly disrespectful. He described how she picked a ridiculous reason to get upset on New Year’s Eve and dumped him.

He’s at peace and happy that she’s gone and has no intention of giving her another chance. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is basically the end of a series of emails on this particular woman and relationship. So the last one I answered was probably early December, I believe it was. So this particular woman is just constantly threatening breakups. If he didn’t comply, she’s always was upset. This type of woman is like totally the glass is half empty type of human being. She’s constantly picking at him, nit-picking him, getting upset.

So during the holidays and New Year’s, his family was coming over. She was going to be there. She made some food. Then he got real tired late at night, and he was kind of dozing off and his family was like, “Oh, go take a nap.” So after his family leaves at like, 2 a.m., she’s all upset because he was falling asleep. So the next day, they got into a fight and she basically dumped him. This was like a recurring pattern where she got upset, threatened to break up with him, maybe break up, then want to get back together, and he’s just like, “Man, if this happens one more time, I’m out. I’m not taking her back.” So, of course, she did it again, and this time he’s just like, “That’s it.”

At the end of the day, my book is not going to fix a messed up or broken woman. It’s designed for a healthy woman who were raised right. So the toxic ones will get bounced right out of your life, whereas the good ones will be attracted.

Let’s go through his email and see what we got.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

Thanks for your fantastic reply. As always, spot on.

Quick update: She broke things off on January 1st, right after the New Year’s Eve dinner with my family over what seemed like relatively silly things.

So that’s another thing. A lot of guys mistake, they have like this an innocuous, normal disagreement, “no big deal.” Then the girl just blows it out of proportion like it’s this relationship ending traumatic event, and the guys are thinking, “Oh wow. I wish I might have handled that differently. We’d still be together.” The reality is, that’s just the act. In other words, that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. Around this time of year, around New Year’s, January, after cuffing season is over, that’s when a lot of girls plan and a lot of women plan to file for divorce as new year, new beginnings.

So this woman basically waited until, I guess, New Year’s, after New Year’s Eve. They woke up the next day, and then they had a conversation and she basically said she was out, and he just basically was like, “This is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m done with this BS,” because statistically, if one or both people are constantly threatening the end of the relationship or to end the relationship, if certain things don’t happen, rules get followed or changes are made, there’s a 95% chance that the relationship is not going to work out. What happens is you just get sick of it, and this guy just got to the point where he got sick of it. No matter what he did, he couldn’t live up to her unreasonable expectations. She always had some expectation that wasn’t met. She’d get upset about things like in his last email. I was looking through it. It’s like, if he didn’t close the drapes in her room properly, she’d get mad at him for that. A little thing, like leaving the toilet seat down or up or in a certain position, or certain things in her bathroom arranged a certain way. no matter what he did, she looked for a reason to get upset about it.

So she was looking for reasons to end it because her interest wasn’t super high to begin with. As a man, if your woman is constantly disrespecting you and she’s constantly unhappy, eventually you just feel like, “Man, no matter what I do, this girl’s never fucking happy and I can’t fix her. I can’t make her happy.” So it’s better just to tap out and go find a woman who’s single and ready to mingle, loves her dad, is happy, easygoing, easy to get along with, and most importantly, she’s nice to you. This girl was anything but nice. So I’m happy that this guy finally pulled the plug, because it’s just not going to get any better. Chick’s just a screwball.

Here’s the full story: After my last email, everything appeared normal. We kept hanging out and having fun, but we weren’t hooking up as frequently as before.

So that’s a sign that her interest and her attraction is low. She’s already dissatisfied. At the end of the day, he’s at the point where he’s just like, “No matter what I do, she’s going to be mad anyway. So might as well find a way to enjoy myself.”

For New Year’s Eve, we had planned a dinner at my place with some of my family. She prepared really delicious appetizers and dessert. The evening felt like it was going well. My aunts complimented her cooking several times. She even organized a fun raffle with prizes to keep everyone entertained until midnight.

I guess at midnight she turned into a pumpkin.

During appetizers and dinner, I made sure to compliment her and give her affectionate kisses to show my appreciation. After the main meal (I’d eaten quite a lot), I got hit with a heavy wave of tiredness…

The tryptophan kicked in. I guess you guys are having turkey, maybe.

…And asked if it was OK to lie on the sofa for a bit to rest.

Notice he’s asking for his permission from his girlfriend. Come on, man!

So there were definitely things he was doing and saying where he was just afraid to upset her. So he was a pleaser, which women don’t like that either, because you’re not really being real and authentic.

I even dozed off briefly. She asked me to come back to the table for the raffle, so I did, even though my eyes were practically closing.

Which, of course, is going to upset her because she’s always looking for a reason to get upset.

My aunts noticed how visibly exhausted I was and even suggested I go to bed for a quick nap, but I didn’t want to be rude, so I stayed at the table with everyone. Around 1 a.m., the family headed home, leaving just the two of us.

“Just the two of us.”

I could see in her eyes that she was upset and hurt.

Well, he’s used to that look by now.

I asked if everything was OK. She said yes (We all know what that really means). I tried to talk, but she barely responded.

Elvis has left the building.

We brushed our teeth, then went to bed (Me in my bed, her on the sofa!! That said a lot).

That said a lot, yep.

The next morning she went for a walk with her dog without me. When she came back, I opened her up, but what followed completely caught me off guard. She said I didn’t care about her, that I hadn’t even pulled her aside to apologize for being tired and not being energetic as usual.

Well, didn’t he ask for permission? Again, at the end of the day, she’s just looking for a reason to dump him at this point, because she’s unhappy and she’s kind of a miserable human being anyways.

According to her, I should have said something, even though everyone else in the room could clearly see how drained I was.

Yeah, she’s just being ridiculous because again, she was planning on breaking up with you, so she’s gonna pick a fight. That’s what women do. They pick a big fight over nothing and the guy’s just thinking, “What the hell? This is such a none thing. I was tired.” If you ate a lot of turkey, a lot of sweets, a little bit of alcohol, yeah you’re gonna be tired on New Year’s Eve. It happens.

She felt I had treated her badly that night, despite the fact that I hadn’t said anything rude. I had complimented her and kissed her several times.

She went on to say I don’t do the “little things” to show I notice her. I don’t send good-morning messages, I don’t call her on my way to work (We work in the same company but different departments, so we don’t see each other as much), she’s always the one initiating contact, and so on. She said she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way considering everything she does for me.

Which is basically perpetually complaining. No matter what he does, again, if you go back through that last email, let me tell you which one it was. The last one was early December. It was titled, My Girlfriend Complains & Threatens To Dump Me Often. She’s always mad. She’s always upset. There’s always something that’s pissing her off. She’s always threatening to dump him, and he’s just like, “I’m over it, dude.”

Meanwhile, just the day after Christmas, when she was sick, I drove 20 km to her place to walk her dog (Over an hour). I’ve dog-sat him on weekends so she could see her girlfriends and pursue her hobbies.

Remember, this is the one that said he never does anything. She’s just mad. She doesn’t respect him. Her attraction is low and she’s just insufferable.

After the conversation (Which was really more of a monologue on her side. I stayed calm the whole time and didn’t argue back), she packed her things and left. We hugged, told each other we loved one another, but agreed we weren’t meant to be together. As she was leaving, she said, “Think of it like a new start and don’t take things for granted.”

I didn’t mention that on January 1st we were supposed to go to my aunt’s for lunch. Obviously, she didn’t come. Obviously my aunt was surprised to say the least. She said I wasn’t rude at all, so I’m not making things up I guess.

Again, she’d already decided to do this ahead of time. She was going to stick it out through nears and then do you in.

Looking back, when we first started dating, on our second date after we hooked up, she told me, “I don’t want you to date other women.” I probably should have paid more attention to that red flag during the vetting process.

So they had one date, slept together once, and then she wants to be exclusive. That’s too much, too soon.

That said, I don’t regret anything. I had great experiences with her and learned a tremendous amount. I genuinely wish her well and hope she finds someone who’s willing to tolerate that kind of behavior. A couple of years ago she even suggested I see a hypnotherapist to work through childhood stuff and get over my previous ex.

Meanwhile, she’s constantly blaming him for everything. He’s the problem and she’s an angel.

She’s a caring person at heart (Even though she needs to do something for her insecurities and behaviors while in a relationship. When she’s alone, she does great), and I still love her deeply, but we’re done as a couple. Even if she came back, I wouldn’t take her back.

Well, good for you, but we’ll see how your attitude is in 90 days. I got another one for tomorrow. Guy was happy to be done. Five months of no-contact. He’s getting ready to move away. Of course, he finds a box of her stuff, texts her saying, “Hey, here’s your stuff. Here’s how you can get it and pick it up,” because he maintained that he didn’t want her back. Then, of course, he finds more stuff that I guess belongs to her kids, he texts her about that, and they end up getting together and hanging out. Now that he’s moved, he’s thinking, “Oh well, if we get back together…” So he’s all up in his feelings again, and just completely ignoring all the shit she put him through before, as if she’s going to change.

I hope this story helps other readers spot problematic patterns early in dating and avoid a lot of future pain.

Remember, what I always say? Easygoing, easy to get along with, and most importantly, she’s nice to you, and this woman was never nice to this guy. She was constantly getting mad and upset. “You didn’t close the drapes properly! It needs to be this way!” She just sounded like an anal retentive jackass. No matter what he did, she’s gonna find a fault with it.

There are lots of people in the world that are like that. She’s a pessimist. She’s not an optimist. The glass is always half empty, and she looks for reasons to justify why it’s always half empty, and to justify why you’re being a jerk to her. Even though, as his family said,it’s like, “You were wonderful. You were a little tired, but you were great,” and she’s like, “Oh, you treated me terrible.” She’s just looking for a reason to end. It had nothing to do with his behavior that night. She was gaslighting him, basically.

It’s been amazing having my emails featured in your incredible coaching newsletter. You truly changed my life. Before your advice, I was a textbook weak beta male, always wondering why women only saw me as the “nice guy friend” and nothing more. Thanks to your knowledge (And your legendary roasts), I’ve become who I am today in dating and in life.

Wishing you an absolutely fantastic 2026.

Last but not least, “thank you for your attention this matter” (Big fan of him…)

Bob

Well, me too. I think Marco Rubio is going to be our next president in 2028. I’m sure I’ll get some interesting comments about that, but that’s what it’s looking like. I’m very pleasantly surprised how Marco turned out, especially considering how contentious his relationship with Trump started out, but you can definitely tell that Marco is getting mentored by Trump and he’s taking to it well. I’m really fucking happy. He’s doing great. Very proud of Marco Rubio. He’s been the biggest surprise of the whole administration, and very happy about that.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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