Dumped Over Text After 17 Years Together. How Can I Move On?

What you should focus on if you got dumped and she’s moved on with another man.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who was with his ex-girlfriend for 17 years. He was 17 when they first started dating. He thought they would grow old together. She met another guy and dumped him over text and blocked him.

He’s having a hard time moving on because they were together for so long and asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email this guy who was with his now ex-girlfriend for 17 years. He was 17 when they first started dating, so I assume they were high school sweethearts together. He was thinking, “Hey, we’re going to grow old together. This is great,” but apparently she met another guy because he wasn’t really dating and courting her and a lot of other things that he’s now come to realize since he came across the work of yours truly. I guess he’s reading 3% Man, and he’s trying to figure out, “What the hell just happened to me?” So he’s pretty distraught. Probably this is either the first or one of few women he’s been with, and he’s been with her for literally half his life. Now all of a sudden she’s like, “Yeah, see you later.”

I mean, after 17 years together, she breaks up over text. “You can call me if you want, but I’m moving on. See you later. Have a nice life.” So he’s obviously in shock, and that’s just a bad place to be. The good news is, because he’s in a lot of pain, he’s looking for a solution because he wants to get out of his pain. Now that he’s got 3% Man, if he does the work that’s necessary, then he can be dating a hotter, younger, obviously more loyal girl than the one that he was with because now he knows what to look for.

So there’s this particular email, and then tomorrow’s video newsletter is actually going to be a success story from a guy that was kind of in the same boat. I’ll just give you kind of a sneak peek of tomorrow’s newsletter, because today you have a guy that’s just in the shadow of the valley of death. He’s just going through the worst thing. So tomorrow is a success story. The title of that video newsletter is going to be 3% Man Success Story: Starting Over In My 30’s. That particular guy got married at 22. He was with her, I don’t know how many years before they got married, but he was with her for about eight years, and he eventually figured out that she was a manipulative, covert, narcissist sociopath. He suffered through anxiety and depression and came that close to ending his life over the mental and emotional torture that his ex-wife put him through. So he had a difficult journey. He’s been doing well these last few years, and he just shares a really great success story that he had over the weekend at a concert. I mean, he’s on the same boat. So today you’re going to get the guy that’s just the beginning of the worst part of his life. Tomorrow, you’re going to get a story from a guy who’s come out the other side. He was married. I mean, this guy was just in a relationship with this particular girl, but the guy from tomorrow, he was married. If he can get over it, this guy can get over it. So you got something to look forward to in that success story, but let’s address today’s email.

Seventeen years together… He knows he needs to move on, he needs to date, but he’s just having a hard time because I mean, his whole identity from the time he, in essence, was a child, since he was a minor, a kid in high school, is all wrapped up in everything he does with his now ex-girlfriend. Their friends, the holidays, social life, everything was all around him and his relationship with his girl, and now she’s gone. He looks around, he’s like, “What the hell happened to my life?” He doesn’t even recognize it anymore. He’s probably got friends, maybe some of them sided with her, so they went with her and then vice versa. It’s an unpleasant thing to be in, but out of the ashes, the phoenix rises. So today we’re dealing with the ashes, tomorrow you get an inspiring story of a dude who got through it.

Viewer Email:

What’s up Coach Corey Wayne,

I’ve seen a lot of your videos because I been going through it lately and wanted to get your advice.

I’ve been with my girl since I was 17. I am now 34. She recently left me out the blue. All I got was a text that said that she didn’t wanna be with me and to stay away from her because she’s gonna move on.

“I spent 17 years in a relationship and all I got was this shitty t-shirt.” I mean, obviously this is a really cool t-shirt. Dom Raso makes some kick ass fucking t-shirts. He’s a good follow as well.

Back to our regularly scheduled email, it’s like that’s just over text 17 years together and it’s just, “Oh yeah, I’m going to move on. Leave me alone. Fuck off. Have a nice life.” It’s terrible.

She blocked my number and when I would go look for her, she was never home. I knew these were all red flags and each day I was hurting. Then two weeks later, she posted her with another guy and how in love she was with him. My heart couldn’t believe it and I broke down, and I haven’t been myself since.

So what’s happening is your whole reality, your whole world, your whole life that was built around your relationship that you had together with this person, has just been dissolved, and you’re probably thinking, “How the hell can we be together for 17 years and all of a sudden she’s two weeks later after dumping me through text, she’s on social media going, “Oh, I’m so in love with this guy. My new boyfriend is amazing.” So it’s pretty clear she was cheating on him and she was lining up a replacement while they were together, also known as monkey branching.

So she was holding on to this guy, making him think that she was still all in, while she explored things with another guy. What does that tell us about her character? Well, she’s a person of low character and low value. Definitely not somebody, even though he was thinking, you want to spend your life with and you certainly don’t want to have kids with a woman like that because, say they stayed together and she did this later on down the road. There’s a possibility that some of the kids weren’t even his, so he dodged a bullet whether he realizes it or not. I know he’s hurting and I know this just sucks ass, but with enough time and a long enough timeline, he will be able to get over it, because at some point she knew she didn’t want to stay in the relationship. So instead of ending it like a person of high character, morality and respecting the fact that, “Shit, we’ve been high school sweethearts. Been together since we were 17,” she decides to line somebody else up and dick this guy down in the worst way possible.

Karma’s a bitch. Someday he’s going to see this girl, she’s going to be older, fat and ugly and he’s going to be with some younger, hotter, fitter, smoking hot chick, and he’s going to be feeling so satisfied that his life has ended up in such a better place.

We’ve been together for so many years and I’ve always been there for her. She was with me when I had nothing and seen me work hard for everything I have. She’s been there for me since day one. I provide, protect, support and do everything a man is suppose to do, well I at least try. When I seen her post this new dude, I couldn’t believe it because I’m not gonna lie, I found out her new guy makes good money, he has a bigger house than my house. It had me thinking a lot and it even started making me think like, all these years I wasn’t what she wanted, but made me think I was the one.

Women don’t care about what a great guy you are, how big your house is, or how long you’ve been together. The only thing that matters is how they feel about you. Now, if you ever want a high character and she’s not happy, you’re not dating and courting her properly and you’re not making her feel heard and understood, if she’s of high character, she’ll end the relationship, take some time to heal and then when she’s ready, she’ll start saying yes to dates. Whereas a woman of low character, like the one he was with, which is not his fault that she’s that way, unfortunately, it took him 17 years to find out what she was like.

Again, the guy from tomorrow’s email was with his wife nine to 10 years, probably a decade, and found out she was a narcissist, she had been manipulating him and just abusing him for years to the point where he was that close to ending his life. So if that guy can get through it and go through a divorce and all that and come out the other side, this was just your girlfriend, so you’re actually in a better situation than the guy from tomorrow’s success story was.

You still got to go through the pain, you got to get over it and you got to realize that you were in love with a fantasy of who you thought and wanted her to be. Unfortunately, now we know she belongs to the streets. She belongs to the streets!

I love this girl, I’ve grown to love her. At one time I really, really thought she was gonna be the one I grow old with because we have always been together. She left and I have not heard from her since.

Well, she’s having fun with her new guy. The other thing is, she stayed with this guy until her feelings were pretty much gone. She clearly feels no remorse. I mean, what an asshole move, but character is destiny. There’s a lot of shit-birds in this world, and unfortunately, we all live with them, they’re around us. Some of them are in our own families, and we just got to deal with it.

As for me, I have not reached out to her because I feel like she really didn’t care about me because she knew I would see her social media, and she didn’t just do it once, she kept doing it and doing it and then I heard she moved in with him. This really made me lose confidence in myself and I can’t find the confidence to get back in the game and start dating again. I want to get over her and move on. What should I do? Please reply.

Thank man!

Bob

Well, first things first, you got to be reading the book, got to get back in the gym, get fit, get in shape. You never worked out before, and you’re overweight, get a personal trainer. Learn to eat right because you have control over how you look, how you feel. There’s just something, a biological process, that gets turned on when you push weights around and you do cardio because like when I’ve been lazy and I stop working out, it’s like I almost become invisible. Women don’t notice me as much, but if I’m pushing weights up, I’m not a big bulky dude, I’m fit and in shape, but women just notice you. There’s something that our biological organism gives off that healthy women notice. So that’s one thing you have control over, is what you do with your time and how you take care of your body. So you get fit, you get in shape, you maximize your looks, you maximize your body, you maximize your mindset, you start applying the concepts that are in the book.

I highly recommend you date two, three, four different women all at the same time, maybe get on the dating apps, but the best thing you can do, especially when you look at where AI is going, I mean, when I look through Instagram now and I see some of the pictures and videos, I can’t tell. Sometimes you can look and go, “That kind of looks fake. It looks like AI,” but in another year or two, it’s going to get to the point where you’re not going to be able to distinguish a real picture or a real video from one that’s generated by AI. For you guys that haven’t developed your social skills and don’t really have an active social life and are afraid to go out and talk to people, other human beings in person, you’re going to struggle because I see cat-fishing becoming a much bigger problem with online dating, especially with AI and pictures and things of that nature.

If you’re a guy, like myself, that can be very social and goes out and can talk to people anywhere, strike up a conversation with strangers in an elevator or a checkout line and just create small talk with anyone and everyone, when you turn around one of these days and you’re least expecting it and there’s an absolute smoke show smiling at you, you just go right into asking her questions, you open her up, she already likes you because attraction is not a choice, “Hey, why don’t we go grab a cup of coffee down the street?” Or, “Hey, let’s go grab a glass of wine at this great wine bar,” whatever it happens to be. Next thing you know, you spend the whole evening together going to three or four different places, and then you’re back at your place bumping uglies, beating up each other’s pelvises. The best thing is going to be a new piece of ass for you. That is going to be the best medicine. Somebody hotter, somebody younger than your ex, especially a girl that you normally would think, “There’s no way a girl like that would go out with me.” That’s what you want. That’s very satisfying, because all it takes is one of those, and you’re going to completely forget about the ex and how she dicked you over, and then you’re going to be going, “Man, I’m really glad she’s with that other guy, because now I have a space in my life and I can apply what’s in Corey’s book, improve my game, improve my roster, my practice squad,” and eventually find a woman that absolutely knocks your socks off.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. There’s going to come a day where you’re going to be with a girl and she’s hanging on your arm and she’s absolutely worshipping you, adores you, wants to have your babies, is proud to be your girlfriend, proud to have you as her man, and your ex is either going to hear about it, or you’re going to see each other at a wedding of mutual friends or whatever. Man, you’re going to be beaming on the inside, and she’s probably going to be fat, dumpy, not very attractive and seeing that you’re fit, you’re in shape and you’re with this hot fit and shape younger girl, and she’s going to go, “Man, I really screwed up,” but she made her choices. The best thing that you can do is to succeed just for the satisfaction of her looking at you with a new girl and going, “Damn!” Probably her new boyfriend is looking at you and your new girl and going, “Wow, she’s really hot,” but that’ll be their problem.

That’s what I want you to do. I want you to focus on, even though you don’t feel like it, your goal should be to take care of your body first and foremost, build a great social life full of fun activities of the kinds of things you love and enjoy doing. The kinds of things that when you’re doing them with other like minded people, it makes you smile, because this makes you more attractive, it makes you more outgoing, it grows your confidence, you feel better about yourself and that’s when you’re most likely to get noticed by a hot, beautiful woman. Most people are completely dead on the inside. If you’re lit up on the inside, you’re happy and people can see it in your eyes, women can feel it. They’ll feel safe around you, they’ll want to be around you, they’ll want to be with you, they’ll hit on you, they’ll make it easy to date and seduce them.

You got to get to a happy place. That’s the most important thing. You shouldn’t be looking at it in terms of, “Well, once I meet a new girl, then I’ll be happy.” No, you got to get to a happy place first. Then you can find somebody to share your happiness and your completeness with who also is happy and complete. Then it’ll just multiply, and your cups will runneth over. That’s what you need to do. I know it’s not what you feel like doing, but you have to practice the things that are in the book. Repetition is the mother of skill. I say to read the book 10 to 15 times, because you’re only going to retain maybe 7%, 8% of it each time you go through it. So in a 250 page book, 10, 12, 15 times, you need to get to know it so well that you could teach a class on it, because you don’t have to think about this stuff. You want it to just be instinctual or it just something happens, the girl does something and boom, you just respond right away with the perfect response because you understand the philosophy. That only comes if you read it 10, 15, 20 times.

Guys that read it once or twice, or some thumb through it two or three times, they get laid and they have a good time, but usually what often happens is they meet a girl they really like, and since they didn’t bother learning their relationship wisdom, didn’t learn how to transition out of casual dating to deep, close, intimate relationship, then six, eight months, 12 months later when the girl dips on them and they’re freaking out, then they go back to the book and they realize, “Damn, I should have listened to Corey. I wasn’t a good student. I didn’t take this seriously, and now I’m in pain.” So be a guy that learns the books so you can send me a good success story like the one that I’m going to be publishing tomorrow.

Again, no matter how bad you think you’ve got it, no matter how much you’re hurting, there’s some dude that is hurting way worse, and he’s got it worse than you. You’ll see that from tomorrow’s email, and this guy was like, “Man, how can I start over in my 30’s? I’ve been with this girl, I’ve been married, I got to go through a divorce.” He went through that whole process and came out the other side. His career is doing great. He said he used the negotiation techniques that are in Mastering Yourself to get himself a great job and to earn more money than he was expecting to earn. He’s killing it in his professional life and he met a really hot girl at this venue, which I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but it was very satisfying for him to go through everything he went through to become that close to ending his life over his manipulative, narcissistic wife, to having a great success story. So if that dude can do it, this guy who was just dating this girl can do it.

Again, you should look at it as a good thing that she’s with this new dude, because this gives you a space to develop yourself to read 3% Man. I also recommend that you read Mastering Yourself. Both these books are available to read for free in the Members Area of my website. All you got to do is put your name and your email and subscribe to the free email newsletter. Learn the material, apply it and prove yourself. You’ll get the results that’ll build your confidence, and eventually you will meet, date and hook up with a girl that is 100 times hotter, more fun and better for you, and whose goals and values are aligned with your own, and who actually has integrity, unlike your ex. It’s not a matter of hope. It’s just simply a matter of time. There’s no shortcuts to success, so you’re going to have to put the time in, you’re going to have to put the work in and you’re going to have to make these things happen. You can do it!

I also highly recommend that you sign up for our paying Members Only content. In the video description of this video, there are links to join on YouTube, to join on Spotify and ideally we’d prefer you join on our website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Click the “plans” tab when you get there, or click the link in the video description that will take you to the “plans” tab on the website. You can do a 7-day free trial with a monthly plan or an annual plan. If you choose an annual plan at the end of the 7-day free trial, you get a 25% discount for paying the whole year up front.

What you get is you get six additional video coaching newsletters, like this one, per week, that only the paying members have access to. We have a weekly 3% Man Study Group podcast, a weekly Mastering Yourself Study Group podcast. We go literally go page-by-page in both books, just like an ongoing mastery level class with the girls and the guys where we discuss everything in the books. We also have the full viewer questions podcast, and occasionally when we have special interviews, those will be posted there as well.

Again, the links are in the video description to join on whichever platform and consume the content. If you subscribe on YouTube, you can watch it on YouTube. If you subscribe on Spotify, you watch the content on Spotify. Preferably if you subscribe on the website, you get the 25% discount for the annual plan and you also get the email analysis. So whichever platform you subscribe on is where you’ll be able to consume the content. They’re not connected. You won’t be able to subscribe on the website and watch the Members Only content on YouTube or vice versa. You won’t be able to subscribe on Spotify and watch YouTube because they’re all independent platforms. I’ve seen some of the guys in the comments thinking that when they subscribe on any platform, they somehow get access to all three. They’re not connected and there’s no way that that’s technologically even possible.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.