In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is twenty-three, in college and still a virgin. He shares a recent date he had with a woman who really liked him. He has only kissed two women in his life, but has been on many more dates recently since he started applying what he is learning in my book. His biggest problem is similar to the one I had when I was his age, not getting second or third dates with women who initially really liked him. He says the women he wants are usually taken or not into him. He feels he is attractive, because women have always approached him. He asks me to critique his recent seduction attempt with a woman he met online so he can improve. He was unable to close the deal, even though she put his hand on her breasts twice during their time together while making out. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
I bought the paperback version of your book and read it twice. Please title the video, “Epic Virgin Date” in my honor if you like the story. I know your viewers will thoroughly enjoy it.
For privacy reasons, just call me Bob. I’m a 23-year old college student living in Arizona. I am very dedicated to my education, and I plan to be a cop after graduating. To this day, I’m still a virgin, but thanks to you, I’ve never been more comfortable around women. I’ve been on seven dates with different women this summer. Looking back, I’ve only had a girlfriend for about a week during high school and got my first kiss, among other things, this summer break. To be perfectly honest, I never really tried to get a girlfriend, but women always approached me. I’d say I am very attractive guy, but the ones I usually like are taken or don’t want me back. Anyway, I figured I should share my best date ever with you, since it shows a good combination of success and failure on my part.
I drove almost 200 miles one way to Prescott in order to meet this girl from an online dating app, not because I was desperate, but because she was very special, different, and beautiful. (This is the mindset guys who fail have. You were treating this woman differently, and you put her on a pedestal. When you put yourself last, it shows you don’t think you deserve to be there, and you’re not good enough for her. Women can pick up on your lack of confidence.) She claimed to be going to school in order to work in the intelligence field, the CIA. Anyway, the meet spot was this coffee shop. At the shop, we introduced ourselves, and I hugged her like I would with any other girl. I told her I was more hungry than thirsty, so we went to this nice restaurant instead. I had an awesome taco salad and a decent conversation with her. After that, she drove me around in her car to tour her school and the airport. (It doesn’t sound like you had much planned. Hang out, have fun and hook up. You should create an opportunity for sex to happen.) In addition, we toured downtown Prescott, during which, she unloaded some deep family baggage on me. I didn’t offer any advice. I was good listener instead. Later, she took me back to my car at the coffee shop parking lot.
We chatted once again in her car for about 10 minutes. While in the car, she flashed a hand gun located in the center console for some reason, but I wasn’t intimidated. I asked her if she still wanted to hang out, and she responded, “we might as well since you drove this far.” (Does that sound confident? If you’re asking if she still wants to hang out, it communicates you don’t have a high opinion of yourself.) She was impressed with my sports car and made a few comments as I got out of her car. (That sounds like approval seeking behavior.) Thereafter, I followed her to this hillside home. It was pretty nice, worth at least $700,000 I’d say. We played Zombie mode on Black Ops 2 for a few hours. We also played with her awesome dog. Eventually, we watched Pacific Rim on Blu-ray. During the movie, she placed my arm between her breasts. (If a woman does that, she’s basically saying, I want you to touch me.) She didn’t like the arm behind the neck thing. Is this universal to all women? Anyway, they were fucking huge and soft, double D’s for sure. I probably should have made a move then, but I figured I should exercise some patience since we were 15 minutes into the movie. (That was a mistake. You were holding back, but she’s giving you subtle hints.) I rubbed her thighs and held her hand in addition to cuddling. After the movie I said, “Let’s go to your room.” (She’s not as turned on now as she was initially, so she’s got to get warmed back up.) Big fucking mistake. You don’t say shit like that. You seduce her with actions like kissing passionately first. She told me straight up, “I don’t sleep with guys on first dates. I don’t keep those types of guys around.” I replied, “That’s fine. I respect that.” I thought she didn’t mean it, so I took the two steps forward and one step back approach. I said instead, “Okay, I want to kiss you then.” She said, “Okay.” We had a make out session for a while, but no tongue action. (It sounds like the moment had passed.) I gently tried.
After that, we reheated our leftover lunch for dinner. Eventually, she turned on Netflix and watched multiple episodes of American Dad with me. She placed my arm between her breasts once again. I asked if I could touch them directly. (Come on dude. Does that communicate confidence?) She replied, “Of course, I wouldn’t put my hand there otherwise.” I thought to myself, “what a fucking stupid question, but here I go!” I touched the outside of her clothes first and shortly after put my hand under her clothes to grope. (That’s what you should have done the first time, but everyone learns at their own pace.) She took her top off and exposed the biggest tits I had ever seen with my own two eyes. I proceeded to play with her nipples and suck on them. They got super hard and it was obvious that she was enjoying it. However, I could sense she was holding back. I took off my shirt and placed her hand on my crotch, pants on, while playing with her breasts. (Take your time dude. You should gently explore. The last thing is the crotch.) I encouraged her to feel me back, but I got denied. (You weren’t smooth about it.) I didn’t get upset, but I let her know that’s cool. Strangely, she remained topless for an hour after denying me, and things settled down. Maybe she normally chills that way. (She wanted a guy who could take his time.) Anyway, she gave me the “It’s getting late speech.” but I pressed my luck. I let her know I was too tired to drive back. She flat out told me, “I don’t think sleeping in the same bed would be a good idea, but I’d be more than happy to give you my couch.” I replied, “alright, thanks,” and kissed her goodnight.
Before we went to bed she let me know her Aunt is visiting the next day. (You’re really over staying your welcome now.) I must have slept two hours, not because I am at someone else s house, but because I knew I had fucked up. I woke up first and played some multiplayer on Black Ops 2. She asked me how I slept, and I said, “Decently.” She said, “I slept like shit.” Again, I was reminded her aunt was coming, so there was no time for breakfast. I packed up my stuff and gave her a single kiss. Moreover, I let her know, “I look forward to seeing you again.” Another dumbass idea, for you don’t want to hint to a second date while already on the first! (There’s nothing wrong with saying that. It’s the way you went about things. You should take your time and slowly unwrap the gift.) She gave me a very strong kiss back without any words before escorting me to the door. In hindsight, I probably should have kissed her back more passionately after my comment. It could have been an invitation to morning sex, but instead I cut my losses and gave her a peck back. She told me goodbye and to drive safe before closing the door. I texted her back four days later to set up a date for next weekend, but got no response. I figured I blew it. (I wouldn’t do anything else. It’s like a game of tennis. You hit the ball over the net, and wait for her to return it.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The average guy’s dating experience is often one of frustration, scarcity, missed opportunities and consciously and unconsciously sabotaging their own success. Most men never date the kind of women they really want and deserve, or date them for very long, without getting blown off. This eventually leads to them settling for lovers and wives they’re really not into. When you are not in love with someone, you won’t put your heart and soul into making yourself, or him or her happy. You deserve someone who knocks your socks off, but you must become the kind of person you want to attract in order to attract and keep them in your life. If you consistently find yourself getting rejected by the kind of lovers you really want, you must recognize that your approach is not working, fill in your knowledge gap by studying those who have the kind of results you want, and then do the same things they do so you can get the same results.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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