Here’s how to escape the dreaded friends zone so she feels sexual attraction & wants you again. The reason men get put into friends zone when they have a chance with a woman, is because they act more like a friend than a lover. Due to the feminist movement and this desire to make both of the sexes the same or equal, men in our society have been taught to act like pleasers instead of men. A pleaser does something for a woman because he thinks it will make her happy, or prevent her from getting mad at him. It’s behavior that communicates that a man is seeking a woman’s approval for his own validation and self worth. When a man seeks a woman’s approval he is basically treating her like a celebrity and acting as if he is not worthy to have her. She can’t help but agree with him. Women want a man who can stand on his own 2 feet. Not a man who seeks her permission if it’s okay if he stands near her.
Success with women comes when you lose your attachment to any one particular woman, but instead open yourself up to receive women who like you and who want to be with you. When I was younger and unsuccessful with women, I spent a lot of time putting my energy and attention on women who were unavailable or who didn’t like me. When you become fixated on someone or something that you tell yourself you must have in your life, they or it becomes part of your identity. If you are unable to possess the person or thing you want, you suffer because you want reality to be other than it is. If you let go of what you want and open yourself up to what the universe will send you with excited anticipation, you will find yourself meeting new women and new possibilities that seem to be in an unlimited supply. Be receptive and grateful, but most importantly, take advantage of the opportunities that come your way without getting attached to any of them! By doing this, you will put yourself in a constant state of receiving abundance. Eventually, someone or something will stick and reciprocate mutual interest. The following is an e-mail from a reader. He’s one of three men a soon to be divorced woman is hooking up with, and he wonders how to escape the friends zone so they have more than just a casual sexual relationship. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Ok, background: I’m 43, divorced in November after an 18 month separation, 17 year marriage. She is 36, separated for 2.5 years and nearing the end of her divorce, 9 year marriage. We met a LONG time ago, lost touch, and reconnected on facebook. We have seen each other quite a bit lately. A couple of times per week. We text constantly, etc. The sex life is there. In a nut shell, we call each other our best friend. (Translation: “There’s no sexual polarity because we act like buddies instead of lovers.”)
That is now. We have been talking/texting for the past two years, and had been seeing each other off/on, but it was rare. We both agree that neither of us are ready for anything major at this point in our lives… hello, she is still legally married. (You should not be talking about relationships or commitments with a woman who you have an open relationship with, and who’s still married to another guy.) She has been casually dating two other dudes for the past year. I have pretty much been going out once or twice a week, sacking them and then looking for the next contestant. (It’s always good to interview plenty of different women, take them for a test drive, make sure they offer a smooth but exciting ride and that they’ll be good to ya before you make a long term commitment.)
The problem? Man, I wish I had read your book a couple of years ago… from the get go, I have fucked up left and right… too open, have made it too easy for her, made myself much too available, etc. (Well, that was then. This is now. Just continue to do the right things going forward with ALL WOMEN. You must be consistent with everyone everywhere you go. Constantly apply what I teach. Repetition is the mother of skill. In time, your social life will be on autopilot. You will meet women along your journey of life as you strive to make your dreams a reality. As you are being your best self, women will recognize you as the catch that you are and seek to pull you into their feminine delights so you fill them up emotionally, mentally, spiritually & physically! Let them chase you.)
We still see other people at this point, which is cool, but have talked about the potential that is there… yea, I know… how do I reposition myself to make sure I am able to escape the friend’s zone at some point? (Stop acting like her friend. Stop chasing her. You should not contact her at all. Wait to hear from her. When you do hear from her, set a definite date for her to come over to your place and make dinner together. Don’t even take her out or meet her out. Always have her come to your place. If she won’t say, “Let’s do it some other time. I’m just in the mood to hang and relax. Give me a text if you change your mind & want to come over and seduce me.” She’s married to another guy and hooking up with two other dudes.) Is it even possible to do? (By letting her contact you and making definite dates for her to come to your place, you create one opportunity for sex to happen after another. She’s still married and she’s banging two other dudes. She’s a friends with benefits or a sex playmate only. Not girlfriend or relationship material. Keep it causal with her while you look for a woman who is really what you want. Keep dating and hooking up with other women. She’s doing it with other men. The perfect woman for you will be along soon enough. That is why you must practice Grasshopper. So relax, it’s in the bag. Enjoy the journey. ) I really enjoy her company and she is head and shoulders above the others… I am just concerned she may be telling me what I want to hear. Every guy she goes out with is pretty much loaded. (Who cares. You should only be interested in her coming over to seduce you. If she does not want to, then make yourself busy with other women.) I’m not, but I know how to separate myself from the crowd. (Not if you keep chasing her. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
“Patience is stronger than force.” ~ Edward Counsel