Female Parasitic Dating Mercenary

How to avoid the female parasitic dater who goes from guy to guy consuming resources.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a Pakistani guy who lives in Dubai. He met and briefly dated a 26-year-old Algerian girl he met online. She talked about moving in together as soon as they started dating and hooking up. She openly flirted with another man while they were on a date and denied it happened.

Shortly thereafter, she blew him off a few times, said she met someone else and dipped. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a Pakistani guy, or he’s from Pakistan. He lives in Dubai. He met and he briefly dated a 26-year-old Algerian girl that he met online there. What was interesting is he talked to her for a little bit, and then I guess she got serious with somebody else and kind of blew him off. Then he just said, “Hey, let me know if it doesn’t work out,” and then it didn’t work out. She got in touch. They started hanging out, having fun and hooking up. Right away she starts talking about moving in together. That’s a lot of fast movement, if you will.

Those are the kinds of things that should raise a red flag in your mind, because if you go out and you date a girl, you go on one date or two dates and you hook up and she’s already talking about moving in with you, that’s not a good sign. Most women are not going to do that. Somebody that’s like a couch surfer, Chunky and I were talking about this the other day. There was a woman, it was an article or a video, I can’t remember, but she’s like a professional dater. So she doesn’t have a house. I don’t think she even has a job. She basically dates men, lives with them, sleeps with them. They pay for everything. Her food or clothing, everything. She’s basically a couch surfer. A kind of a parasite. In other words, she looks at men as to gain resources in what you need from them, and obviously she trades her body and sex for the stuff that she needs to survive. I can’t remember the name of it, maybe you guys can post it in the comments here. It was about a year or two ago I think I first heard about that. I think it was a video article, I can’t remember.

There are women like that that are out there and they typically are going to be coming from broken homes, so they’ve just learned to survive, and the one thing they do have is a pretty face, a nice body and hopefully a good disposition. So as you’ll see, as I go through this email, there’s just like one dude after another coming into and out of her life and doesn’t last for very long. Then she’s on to the next guy.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach Corey,

I am a 32-year-old Pakistani guy who lives in Dubai. I’ve been following your work for a couple of years now, read your book four times…

Well, if you’ve been following me for a couple of years and you only been through this four times, you got to do better. That’s not good enough. You need to get to know the book so well that you could teach a class on it, not just half ass it and thumb through it because you’ll get laid, but trying to maintain it, sustain it and then get into a relationship and learning about vetting and all those things, you got to pay attention to that. You can’t just thumb through the book a handful of times and because you get your noodle wet, think you got it. That’s one of the reasons, right off the bat, I can see that you’re struggling.

…And listened to the audio-book another five times. I wanted to share an experience I had with a 26-year-old Algerian girl that might be useful for your newsletter and also get your insight on what I could have done better.

One thing I got to say is, you can’t make good wine from bad grapes. If you’re looking for a relationship, because this type of girl, I mean before you even get into it, you’ll see that fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate, a rotation girl, not somebody you want to take home to mom.

There are two types of women: There are women for fun, and there are women for family. If you’re looking for somebody to have a relationship with, when you see these kinds of behaviors in a woman, especially in Dubai, because Dubai is kind of famous for that, a lot of beautiful women go there because there’s a lot of wealthy guys with more money than common sense that want easy access to the box, and they’re willing to pay big time for it.

I met this girl online, and we had a few phone conversations, but we never got the chance to go out. Eventually, she told me she had moved in with a guy from her country and had a boyfriend.

As Gerald Celente of the Trends Research Institute says, “Current events form future trends.”

I wished her good luck and told her if things didn’t work out, she could give me a call. She wanted to stay friends, but I told her I wasn’t interested in that.

So she’s trying to keep him in friend zone. She’s definitely, probably got a lot of male orbiters, another flag, because she has a boyfriend she’s living with, but yet she wants to maintain contact with this guy and who knows how many other guys.

We had a bit of an argument about it, but I stood my ground. A few months later, she reached out to me, asking how I was. I told her I was great and that I’d love to meet up. At first, she was hesitant, saying she wasn’t sure. I called her once, she called me a few times, and we finally met. On our first date, she admitted, “I’m so relieved. You’re actually a great guy— I was worried you were going to be a jerk.” The date went well and I invited her back to my place. She agreed, we hooked up and she stayed the night.

Doesn’t really sound like a family-oriented girl. She assumes that most guys are jerks probably because of how she interacts. Again, she looks at men as kind of like a cash register and a place to put their head down at night.

The next morning, I dropped her home.

The issue was, at that time, I was still in contact with my ex and in the process of breaking things off. That night, my ex kept calling me, which made me uneasy. The next morning, I dropped the Algerian girl home earlier than expected and went to see my ex. I think she sensed something was off because later she told me she felt like I was trying to get rid of her.

Well, you just say, “Yeah, I had an appointment to get to, sorry,” but it’s clear you were trying to get rid of her.

The next week, she reached out again, and I set up another date. She was running late, so I got her a cab and she came straight to my place. We spent time together, hooked up again and the next day, we went to the beach and spent the whole day together. She wanted to go to a meet-up event in the evening. I wasn’t too keen, but I agreed.

So she’s at a meet-up. What is the point of the meet-up? Well, how did she behave at the meet-up? Again, you got to pay attention to these things and not just pretend like it’s fine.

At the meet-up, her behavior completely changed. She ignored me the whole time and started flirting with an older Indian guy who was clearly hitting on her. She sat close to him, touched his arm and showed all the classic signs of attraction. I noticed it, and on the way back, I asked her, “Do you go to these events to date? Because I saw you flirting with that guy.”

There you go! So he saw it. That’s the kind of thing you see and you go, “Wait, is she hitting on this guy? Is she here to date and drag me along with her?” That’s exactly what it looks like. So when you see that, you go, “Oh OK, now I know what I’m dealing with. I’m dealing with a fuck buddy, a sex playmate, a friends with benefits, not a take home to mom kind of girl.” This is the kind of girl you just keep from your mom. You hang out, you have fun, you hook up. Wear a raincoat. Practice safe sex, obviously. Flush the condoms. Make sure there’s no slipping one past the goalie without your participation.

She got defensive, saying, “I wasn’t flirting! I was just being friendly, and he had an interesting conversation.”

Well, if you take her somewhere and she ignores you, I mean if she was being really rude, I would have just hopped in my car and left. Left her ass there. “Where’d you go?” I would be like, “Well, you seem to be flirting with somebody else, so I didn’t want to interrupt you,” and you just treat her like a fuck buddy. You never call her. Invite her over, hang out, have fun, hook up. Maybe take her out, have fun with her, but she’s not relationship material. You’ve been following me for years. You should know that by now, but the other head was probably talking.

I admit, I let my emotions show and acted a bit upset, which I know was a mistake.

Yeah. I mean, you just started hanging out with her and she’s already doing things that disqualify you and you’re getting mad thinking that you’re going to fix that in her.

When I dropped her home, she made me walk her to her door. We talked, and she reassured me, “I wasn’t attracted to him. I wasn’t flirting. I like you and want to continue seeing where this goes.” She even mentioned moving in together a couple of times…

It’s like, “Ah, that’s a little too soon.”

…Which felt too soon for me. I told her, “I’m going to need at least a few more months before considering that.”

Then things started to go south.

So why would things go south after you told her you needed several months to vet her? Because she’s looking for the next place to couch surf probably. The next guy to shack up with. That’s what’s going on.

That Sunday, we had plans to meet on Wednesday. A few hours before, she texted me saying she had made other plans— No apology, no reschedule, just a simple “We won’t meet.”

So on top of that, she’s fucking rude. A woman like this has got to do 100% of the reaching out. In this case, if you hear from her again, invite her over, hang out, have fun, hook up, but then send her on her way. She talks about moving in together, say, “That’s not going to work. I like you, but the way you behave, the way you operate, I’ve seen enough. You’re just looking for a guy to pay your bills, and that’s where you go. So we can be fuck buddies, friends with benefits, but I’m not doing anything else with you. You’re not going to live with me. We’re not going to get married.” More than likely, I would assume she came from a broken home as well. I mean, she’s not even from Dubai. A lot of women go to Dubai for that. They go there for the men and the money. Pretty simple.

I found that disrespectful, but didn’t say anything.

Remember, you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, dude.

A few days later, on Friday, she called me, saying she had been sick and needed someone she could trust. She wanted to see me, so I agreed to meet her after work. Then, 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet, she texted me, “Don’t come, I’m not home.”

Again, when a woman stands you up like that and blows you off at the last minute with no reschedule, you don’t go meet her out or pick her up after that. As the late, great Doc love would have said, “One chance, per girl per, lifetime,” but since we know she’s just a fuck buddy, you don’t respond. She says she needs to talk. He’s like, “Well, I’ll be home at six if you want to stop by,” and she can come over. You hang out, you have fun, you hook up.

After that, she ghosted me for two days. Sunday evening, she sent me a message out of nowhere: “I WON’T meet again.”

I was caught off guard and simply replied with a “?” She responded, “I met someone else.” I replied, “Yeah, I figured. Good luck, and if it doesn’t work out, give me a call.”

Fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate. That’s it, dude. You just invite her over to your house, hang out, have fun and hook up. I wouldn’t even take her out, unless you want to go somewhere and you’d like her as company. Other than that, invite her over, order in some food, hang out, have fun, hook up. If she’s like, “Why don’t you ever take me out?” I would be like, “Because we’re friends with benefits. That’s it. We’re not going to date. We’re not going to get married. We’re not going to be in a relationship. I know you’re just passing through. I see how you operate. When we went to that meet-up, you were hitting on other dudes. Yeah, you were, I watched it. I’m not stupid, but that’s OK. We can still be friends with benefits until you find your next dude to shack up with.”

But honestly, I was still hurt and perturbed by how it ended, so I sent her a voice message, telling her that canceling on me last minute was disrespectful…

Yeah, it’s not going to change her behavior. She’s a ratchet anyways.

…And I wasn’t planning on seeing her anyway. I wished her good luck and left it at that.

I’ve had successes and failures in dating, and I’m always working on improving. Coach, what did I do wrong?

You mixed up the hoe and the housewife. That’s what you did. You thought the hoe could become the housewife.

You got to see reality as it is. So treat the hoe like a hoe, and the other girls, they can go out on dates and you can have a nice relationship with them. This woman revealed her card so early what she was like, but you were projecting your fantasy onto her and ignoring the reality of the fact that she was a hoe-bag. Simple as that.

At the end of the day, dude, you still got laid. You got a little experience, so it’s still a win. You got better, you learn something and hopefully from this, you recognize the next time you meet one of these mercenaries, and there’s a lot of them in Dubai that treat the mercenary like a mercenary and treat the good, family-oriented girls to good dates and give them the proper seeing to.

How could I have handled this better?

Well, I wouldn’t have gone to her. I mean again, the biggest thing was that you thought you were going to fix her and save her.

And do you think she’ll ever come back?

Looking forward to your insight.

Bob

Well, you pretty much told her to have a nice life, but more than likely she’s got daddy issues. She’ll probably contact you anyways. The fact that you said you weren’t planning on seeing her anyway, maybe she reaches out, maybe she doesn’t. Still, I can tell at the end of this email you’re thinking like, “This is somebody to date, somebody to have a relationship potentially,” and it’s just not. That’s just the way it is. She’s not. She’s not that, but you can have a lot of fun until you find a woman who shares the same goals and values as you. So you need to be a little bit more ruthless and a little colder with a woman like this, because look how she treated you. She just blew you off because she had another prospect to move in with, and more than likely, when the guy that she’s living with now finds out that she’s a hoe, he’s going to kick her to the curb and she’ll probably be contacting you.

Again, you’re not going to fix her. She’s not the kind of woman I’d want raising my kids, but you do, you boo-boo.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.